Baseball Babies and Beer

Why I Am The Luckiest Guy On Earth

2012-02-09T23:16:00.001-05:00

So tomorrow night I'm taking the girls to the school's first ever "Father Daughter Valentine's Dance." Now listen - I was never a fan of school dances when I was younger. I was always the awkward goofy kid trying to show off but really making a total ass out of myself... But I'm super psyched for this one. Here is why:

1. I have two dates.

2. I'm the dad, so I have the freedom to be a total dork. (I'm wearing a bright red dress shirt, black suit, and a pink satin tie.)

3. There need not be any more items on this list. Numbers 1 and 2 are sufficiently awesome.

Pictures will follow tomorrow, I'm sure. Hey - I may even live blog from the dance... if only to show off and make a total ass of myself.

A New Hobby

2012-02-06T13:52:00.001-05:00

We started biking.

Ok... I started biking and have encouraged (forced) the kids to follow suit. We started in the summer and all but "the skinch" has taken to riding so far. (At autumn's end she was so close to coming off of the training wheels but stubbornly refused. It's a confidence thing - not an inability to do it.) I'm hoping that she makes it off the training wheels by May so that we have the whole summer to ride together. We shall see...

In October, the boys and I went on a 10 mile organized ride called the Camphill Challenge. It was on some quiet roads out in Chester county. I'd be lying if I told you that there were no complaints from them. At about mile 6 we had a HUGE hill to climb and, as we walked our bikes to the top of the hill, I was sure that I was going to get lynched by the crew. To their credit - they plowed ahead after some water and snacks and finished the ride. They were also the youngest participants in attendance, by far. When we finally finished the ride - you could see the sense of accomplishment on the boys' faces. That was the moment that I knew that this was just the first of many future biking adventures for us. I can't wait for spring!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm Back...

2012-02-05T12:13:00.002-05:00

I took some time off from this blog and I'm a bit regretful that I have. See - it has been difficult for me to post anything for the past two years or so because I tend to write about whatever I'm thinking or feeling. I didn't feel like this was a forum that I wanted to use...

Geana & I separated in March of 2011 and are currently working through the process of a divorce. It is sad. It's not how I wanted my children to grow up - being carted from here to there and then back again. It's sad but it's also what is best for the two of us and, ultimately, our children. In a lot of ways I feel like I'm simply becoming a statistic, adding to the high divorce rate of parents of high-order multiples.

I've been grappling with what to do with regards to this blog. Should I shut it down? Should I just never post again? What? I was reflecting the other day and realized that I created this blog to be a catalogue, or diary, of my thoughts and experiences with my kids. This is for them and, ultimately, will be a gift to them that they can read through whenever they like. Because of that I'm going to continue to post. However - before I can do that, I feel like I have to acknowledge this huge change to our lives before I can put into context any of our future adventures.

We'll see how frequently that happens. My intent is to catalogue our time together - whatever mischief we come across...

Give Us Your Lunch Money

2011-02-26T20:05:00.001-05:00

Toys

2011-02-26T12:24:00.001-05:00

I got an iPhone and now I can blog from anywhere. Maybe sometime I'll post something of substance... don't count on it though.

Location:Miss Patty's All Star Dancers

We're Having Pizza For Dinner?!?!

2011-02-25T20:26:00.001-05:00

Baseball

2010-12-15T20:36:00.004-05:00

"Did they have backsies back then?"

This was one of Robby's many questions while we're watching the long lost broadcast of the 1960 World Series Game 7.

Some of our conversation:

Robby: So that's Roberto Clemente? (I always call Robby "Roberto.")

Me: Yep.

Robby: Wow. (we watch for a few minutes) Dad - I asked Santa for a Clemente Jersey for Christmas. I really hope he brings me one.

Me: I'm sure he will. (getting online now to order)

He wouldn't stop with the questions. Everything from backsies to, "Is this game in New York or Pittsburgh?" to "Who are the Phillies four great pitchers now, Dad?" "Are they better than the Pirates from back then?" It is one of those slivers in time where you feel like you are above the room, just looking down at the conversation, and say to yourself, "Don't ever forget this."

Robby: Is Roberto still alive?

Me: No, buddy. He's not.

Robby: How did he die?

Me: Well... he was delivering food and clothing to poor people in Puerto Rico, where he grew up, and his plane crashed. He died while he was still playing baseball and it was really sad. He had exactly 3000 hits, which is kind of a big deal."

Robby: Oh... did the poor people get their food?

Me: I'm not sure, kiddo. I don't know if he was flying there or flying back but I'm sure that someone made sure that they got some food.

Robby: Well that's good. Making sure they got their food is a big deal, too, right?

At around this time Sammy came down from upstairs (Sammy who has just been to the Baseball Hall of Fame and is becoming a pretty big baseball fan) and Robby immediately says:

Robby: Sam - do you know how Roberto Clemente died?

Sammy: No.

Robby: He died in a plane crash giving food to the poor.

Sammy: (Not really caring) Really.

Robby: No - you don't understand Sam - it was reeeeally sad!

It was about this time that Sammy realized what was on TV. I need to disclose that - despite my best efforts - Sammy is a bigger Yankee fan than Pirates fan. I can't really blame him. The Pirates have sucked since I was slightly older than he is now (MOMENT OF REALIZATION...) Holy shit. I'm old. Holy shit. The Pirates have been horrible forever. Anyway - my only saving grace is that Sammy is a fan of the OLD Yankees - not the current Yankees. He could care less about A-Rod or Jeter - his heroes are Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle.

Bob Prince: Next up to the plate Roger Maris

Sammy: ROGER MARIS!?

Me: Yup - he was on the Yankees during this game. What's so special about Roger Maris, Sam?

Sammy: Ummm... he broke Babe Ruth's record, Dad. C'mon!

Bob Prince: (A few minutes later) Coming to the plate... Yogi Berra.

Sammy: This is AWESOME!

I'm a total dork, but Sammy is right - this is awesome!

It seems that baseball does get passed along from father to son and on and on down the line. Just before this broadcast I called my dad and asked him a few questions about the 1960 Buccos.

Spring training is only 2 1/2 months away.

"Hollywood" by Anna Morris

2010-12-15T08:02:00.001-05:00

Music-o-rama

2010-12-14T11:35:00.003-05:00

Some of you may be aware that I kinda like listening to, and discovering, new musicians and their stuff. I used to do a podcast, but have fallen off of the wagon with that endeavor.

I'm going to link some pretty awesome sites below that you should check out if you are interested/bored/care.

1. The Sixty One - This is probably my favorite music site. I listen to this at work. There are quests and you can earn hearts and reputation points by completing the various quests (listening to specific types of music, etc.) You are then able to spend those hearts and points on artists you enjoy and make them more popular. It's quite a fun experiment. Check it out!

2. 8 Tracks - I have not created any play lists on this site, but I have found a bunch of great ones. I'm listening to this one right now called, "Stop Thinking." "Turn off your brain and let these ten tracks remove you from the real world for a little bit. You could use the break from life anyway." Surf around - find something you love!

3. Pandora - This is an old favorite that I just had to include. If you don't know about Pandora yet, you either live in a cave - or... well... you live in a cave.

"Snowflakes" By Ella Morris

2010-12-12T09:30:00.000-05:00

Dancing School... it's Enough to Bring you to Drinkin'

2010-12-11T20:48:00.004-05:00

Ok - the girl's have dancing school every Saturday morning at 11:15am sharp. The dancing school is part of a shopping center that has, among other things, a Grocery Store, a CVS, and a Beer Distributor. Every week the parking lot is jammed full, I'm navigating a 12 passenger van, and I succumb to parking in the easiest spot - which is about 3 and 1/2 miles from the actual school. We've never been hit by a car while playing frogger to get to class - but it's been darn close.

Today was different. Today - I didn't feel like walking those 3 1/2 miles. Today - I also didn't feel like surfing around the lot until I found someone who was leaving. Today - I decided to take advantage of a small loophole that I've noticed every week but have failed to capitalize on... until now. (This was all being done for the children's safety I must add.) You see - the dancing school's neighbor is the beer distributor. The beer guys have, wisely, put a huge sign out in front of their establishment that says, "BEER PARKING ONLY!" Me, also being a wise individual, decided that I should take advantage of this loophole by parking in the spot, purchasing a case of the finest Belgian Christmas Ale (Rude Elves Reserve), and then walking the kids into the school. Sheer genius!

Mind you, this has increased the cost of the girl's dance tuition by approximately $40 per week, which is a bit of a problem financially, but it's important for the children's safety and continued enjoyment of the performing arts. A small price to pay.

I'm actively taking suggestions for next week's parking case.

Saturday Morning Donut Draft

2010-12-04T10:11:00.001-05:00

The kids woke up this morning, fully prepared. They learned their draft position last night. They stayed up all night playing out all of the possible scenarios in their 6 and 8 year old brains. Anna and Ella even went to CVS and got a draft guide. Months of preparation came down to five lightning quick minutes and a two round snake draft at 8:30 am. This is not a keeper league.

The first pick was daddy's and I selected the illusive Boston Creme. Apparently - this was a bad pick and the ridicule from the kids, I expect, will last all season. (I do have to say the I got the French Krueller with the final pick of the draft and still think that my squad is the best in the league).

The next two donuts to go were the two "Red Icing with Green Spinkles Holiday Specials" (leave it to Ella and Anna to go with this season's trendy picks... so predictable.)

The glazed donut lasted way longer than it should have. James took it at the of top of the second round but the run on white sprinkles happened just where I expected.

All said a fun time was had by all and the rest of the morning was spent trash talking (with our mouths stuffed full, of course) and staring at the draft board, everyone thinking they have the best squad. The draft went as follows:

Round 1:
Daddy: Boston Creme
Ella: Holiday special
Anna: Holiday Special
Sammy: Chocolate frosted with white stripes
Robby: Boston Creme
James: Pink sprinkles

Round 2:
James: Glazed
Robby: White sprinkles
Sammy: White Sprinkles
Anna: Chocolate Glazed
Ella: Pink Sprinkles
Daddy: French Krueller

*The lack of jelly donuts in this year's draft was deliberate and also unfortunate.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Derwyn Rd,Drexel Hill,United States

The Worst E-mail A Parent Can Get

2010-03-18T13:42:00.003-04:00

So I got that e-mail that all parents dread, today. That e-mail that you hope against hope that you never receive about YOUR son. It's the e-mail that you wish you could do something about but you just can't. Your hands are tied. The next 4 months of your life are ruined - at least the weekends. I got this e-mail (the names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Good evening,

My name is Steve, and I will be your son’s baseball coach in The Farm B Division. We are the Yankees. Our first practice will be Sunday afternoon at 1pm, at The Local Elementary School on Main Street. My home phone number is ***-***-****. You can also contact me via email: icantbelievemysonisontheyankees@bullshit.com. I have 4 small children, so please call before 8pm. You can email any time.

I look forward to working with your sons and meeting you. Have a great end of the week, and please let me know if you have any questions.

Best,

Steve

THE YANKEES?!?!?!?! REALLY? Ugh.

The Front Window

2010-03-17T12:08:00.006-04:00

It's official. I'm old.

You see - growing up, I used to love sitting at my grandparents kitchen table. The thing was smack up against a big bay window and you could just sit and stare outside all day long. We'd listen to Pirate games at that table, we'd sit there while Gram cooked us some lunch or loaded the dishwasher. The pitchers of beer kept being replenished by us kids and the adults would just sit at the table and shoot the shit while life happened outside. As an adult I recently sat there with Pap and smoked a cigar and listened to some jazz on the radio. (Even as a grown man, I still was the one who made the trip to the basement to fill up the pitcher. Some things never get old!)

This past weekend, I set up our dining room table to be up against our big front window. (I'm not sure that Geana is sold on the idea, but she's given me the leeway to try it.) I've spent hours here since then, just putzing around on line and staring out to the world. I find it really calming and enjoyable. Life seems to slow down as you hear the whir of the cars pass by and the occasional ambulance going to or from the hospital around the corner.

You may think that the picture above was staged, but it was not. This is how the kids left their toy outside and what I've gotten to look at all day. :)

Vroooooom.

2010-03-14T11:52:00.003-04:00

So we got a new car. We weren't prepared but we did it anyway. Kinda like when we had the quads - anyway...

We kept the van and traded in the Morris Taurus for a Honda Pilot. This vehicle does so much stuff that I think that it can probably tudor our kids. It's ridiculous.

More later this weekend about Sammy's show!

A Day in the Life - Videocast

2010-03-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I took the opportunity to videotape our Saturday escapades... this is what we came up with! Enjoy... (you may have to be patient and watch a brief ad before our video starts).

A Fun Lunch

2010-01-17T14:39:00.013-05:00

Picture this... its a rainy day, it's cold outside, it's mid-January, and we've been cooped up in this freakin' house since November. To make matters worse, the Steelers didn't make the post season so watching the NFL Playoffs is depressing, too. The answer... Creative Activities!

Needless to say - the kids are starting to get stir crazy so, being on a cooking kick recently, I tried to find something fun that we could all make for lunch... together. This is what I came up with: Turkey and Ham sandwich wraps! Woo hoo!

This lunch was a total family effort. Step one is to put out all of the crap. We used some baby spinach, sliced turkey, sliced ham, flour tortillas, nickels (not pictured) and a cheese spread that was made with a 6.5 oz container of Alouette Light Garlic & Herb Cheese Spread and 1/2 cup of roasted red peppers - all chopped up - and then mixed together with the spread.

I gave each kid a little container of the cheese spread so that they could smear it on themselves. (Sammy used mayo because his sense of adventure isn't quite as profound as his brothers' and sisters'.) Here is Ella smearing away...

The first thing we did after smearing was to place a slice of ham on the tortilla. Robby took this part VERY seriously:

Next is the spinach... which is a tricky thing. It's only tricky because it's spinach... and, well, 5 & 7 year old kids tend to think they don't like spinach. My trick was bribery, but your choice of manipulation may be slightly different. I leave that to all of you, should you attempt this at home. A nickel was given out for each leaf that was placed on the sandwich. After placing the leaves, James took a quick break from cooking to calculate his earnings.
Next step is to put a slice of turkey on this badboy:

Then James asks the question, "Dad - can we put more spinach on?" My response - OF COURSE! So we put more spinach on there after the turkey (and now I'm broke).
We repeat the meat, spinach process until we have a nice sized stack - then it was time to wrap the whole thing up. I had to do this for each of the kiddos because it was kinda messy and they all were concerned with losing pieces of the wrap. I walked around the room, wrapped everyone's up, and then it was time to chow down!

Geana is out to lunch with one of her friends, so now we watch football all afternoon and take naps.

Yum

2010-01-17T08:54:00.004-05:00

So I've decided to start cooking. To put this in perspective - I've never cooked a day in my life (with the exception of Kraft Mac & Cheese and the occasional ramen noodles and the like...) Anyway - some recent events have inspired me to start trying my hand at cooking and I'm having a blast doing it (it's only been one day, but still.) I'm not naive, It may last - but it probably won't. I'm sure that I'll get sick of it in a week because that's what I do - but dude... yesterday we had some INCREDIBLE food.

We started the day by heading to the Italian Market to get some produce and to get a piece for the food processor that has been missing since the fire. The kids thought that the dead fish laying on ice were the best part. I, however, preferred all of the fresh produce (and continue to enjoy the fresh produce). It was a mild day for mid-January so we got to walk up and down 9th Street, taking our time, and buying too much food.

As an aside - we got the kids some chop-sticks and thought about stopping in Chinatown on our way home. Realizing that we were going nuts and being overly ambitious - we opted instead to go to a Chinese restaurant near our house because the parking was just too freakin' impossible with our van in town. Here is a shot of Anna using her new sticks.

We came home and I made some Blackened Talapia, Garlic Brussel Sprouts, and the aforementioned Mac & Cheese - or as I have now decided to call it - Dibrunaroni and Cheese. (Named for DiBruno Brothers where I bought the cheese which is, hands down, the greatest store on earth.)

Tonight's menu... left overs.

Surely Our Kids Will Have Nicer Teeth

2010-01-04T14:57:00.003-05:00

Looks like we did something before anyone in the history of Great Britain!

Congrats to the Kelly Family!

Recipe For Disaster

2010-01-03T17:49:00.005-05:00

We took the kids out to the Old Country Buffet last night... because, if nothing else, our family has class.

Seriously - I'm shocked that there are not knock down drag out fights at OCB on a daily basis. The place is a festering melting pot that breeds anger, frustration, chaos, and injury. Let's examine...

Generally, the clientele at OCB is kinda trashy. I don't want to judge EVERYONE who goes to OCB as being trashy, but it's a general observation of mine. I mean - hey - I go to OCB and I don't consider myself trashy (although others may beg to differ). Further, I have several non-trashy friends who occasionally frequent the establishment. It's cheap, kids love it, and there are unlimited amounts of ice cream so I can totally see why people would take their kids there. All I'm saying is that, in general, the crowd isn't the same as you'd find at... say... Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Okay - so you take a bunch of trashy people who are starving and you put them in a room with crazy amounts of food. Obstacle #1 is that, although there are obscene amounts of food, it always seems that the good food is empty. Everyone is perpetually waiting for the employees to refill the courses that they desire. This happens EVERY TIME we go to OCB without fail. Mac & Cheese - never there. Waldorf Salad - always full. This may have the result of, I don't know, pissing some people off...

Obstacle #2 - OCB is uber-kid friendly. Listen - that's the reason that we go to the place to begin with. The problem is that you have a bunch of hungry, trashy people with lots of food in front of them - that could disappear at any minute. Now you throw kids into the mix. People generally have little patience with their children, so imagine everybody in the restaurant stressing at the fact that they have to get the kids food (that may disappear) as well as their own food. Kids create several other issues with the potential of pissing people off, too. Like - last night there was this unattended kid who kept scooping and scooping and scooping the Mac & Cheese onto his plate. He weighed all of 40 pounds (and I could have thrown him across the buffet but that's not why I mention his weight.) It was clear that he wasn't going to eat all that he was shoveling, but he was in front of me and my 5 kids so we just had to wait. Then, of course, there isn't enough Mac & Cheese for us - so we have to wait until its refilled. A few minutes later, as I'm leading my brood back to the table with plates that are piled full of Mac & Cheese, there is a 3 year old - also unattended - who darts out from under a table next to us and almost makes me spill my meatloaf and potatoes all over the restaurant floor. Luckily I'm known for my grace and coordination so I deftly avoid his attempt at a chop block.

This brings us to obstacle #3 - Old People (look in the background of the picture above). We've successfully piled our plates full of super healthy food and the kids have sat down at the table and have started to eat. Now I have to head up to the drink station to get all of our drinks. I end up in line behind an old couple who can't figure out how to work the intricacies of the fountain soda machine.

Old Man: How do I get ice?
Old Lady: You push the button.
Old Man: Whaaa?
Old Lady: PUSH. THE. BUTTON.
Old Man: Oh... ok. Here?
(slowly reaching for the ice button)
Robby: Want me to do it?
Me: Shhh.
Old Man: You can do it for me if you want.
Robby: Ok.
Me: No - that's ok, sir. We will wait. Robby go back to your seat, please.
Robby: Ok. I want all of the drinks mixed together.
Me: You'll be lucky if you get ice. Now SIT.

You'll be happy to know that we finally got our drinks and sat down to eat dinner. After dinner we ate our ice cream and left the restaurant without incident. Here is a picture of Anna eating her chocolate cake and ice cream. Mmmmm....

Whoa Neti!

2009-12-31T08:53:00.002-05:00

So I tried the Neti Pot today and let me tell you - it's AMAZING. It's also 100% natural and non-addictive, as far as I can tell.

Ok - so I'm about to share a story of addiction with all of you. It's a sad story... yes... and one that I am certainly not proud of. In years prior, in the annals my dark past, I have been addicted to Afrin... several times. Yes I know... it's not something I'm proud of but I need to get this off of my chest. I need to be honest and up front to all of you so that you know who the real man is that has been writing to you about his kids. Look - I have nothing to hide. I'm no longer ashamed. I remember in college, my roommates had an intervention and gathered up the 11 or so half filled Afrin bottles that I had strewn about my bedroom - then watched me for 48 hours straight to ensure that I didn't run to the drug store and that I was properly weened off of the stuff. It was a long 48 hours, but I made it through and I am a better person for it. (Cold sweats aside).

For those of you who have not used Afrin, let me tell you a little bit about this amazing invention. It is the wonder drug. Seriously. If there were one drug on this planet, Afrin would by my drug of choice. Not penicillin, not aspirin, nor morphine... nope... FREAKIN' AFRIN! You stick the bottle in your nose, gently squeeze the plastic base, and the pungent mist fills your sinuses and opens them so wide that you can drive a truck through them... and also breathe again... INSTANTLY! There is no taking a pill and waiting 30 minutes for it to kick in. It is instant satisfaction. And it lasts for hours.

The problem is you can become dependant on the stuff to breathe - or so I have heard. :) Prolonged use can also make you prone to sinus infections. And that's where I stand today. See - I fell off of the wagon again and started using Afrin earlier this cold and flu season. It is not a daily habit, but I've been using, on occasion, when I find it difficult to breathe. Well - now I have a sinus infection to show for it and the entire right side of my face feels like I got smacked with a ham.

That's when I found THE NETI POT!

I went into the medicine cabinet, looking for some Sudafed and Ibuprofen, and I came across this little box that had a picture of a lovely woman pouring something into her nose. I thought, "Hey - I'll give that a whirl!" (Immediatly followed by the thought, "Holy shit I have to take a picture of me doing this!") Well - I used it and it has saved my life. I've used it several times in the past few days and it seems to work wonders. My face isn't hurting as much any more, and I couldn't even tell you where the Afrin is right now (but I could find it if I really tried.)

Really - this whole post was just an excuse to post the picture of me using the Neti Pot... my sad and murky trials and tribulations with Afrin addiction aside. I also came across the picture below while writing this post and thought I'd share it with all of you in case you find yourself facing Afrin addiction issue and not having the blessing of 3 jackass room-mates who want to bust your balls to get you back on track.

Throw Back

2009-12-30T08:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the Morris clan headed into town with Grandma, Grandpap, Aunt Melissa, and Uncle Justin to go to the Wanamaker Building Christmas Light Show in Center City, a Philadelphia tradition for many - I'm sure. We had contemplated taking the trolley and subway into town but decided to take the van rather than venture through West Philly. That adventure will have to come at another time...

I felt like we were living in "A Christmas Story" or something. It was like we traveled back in time to a place where large suburban shopping malls and online purchases didn't exist. We pulled into the parking lot, parked our behemoth, and bundled up for the chilly walk across Market Street from the parking lot into the store. The kids spilled out of the van and were immediately in awe of the skyscrapers towering over them. I guess since I work in town, these buildings have become normal and commonplace to me - but for the kids they are utterly spectacular. The kids rarely get to come into town and when they do - they have the time of their lives, it seems. Seeing the awe in their eyes and the amazement at something so large, took me back to when I was a kid and walking the streets of Pittsburgh with my parents for a play we were going to see or a ballgame we were getting ready to attend.

We went into the Wanamaker Building and secured a spot on the third floor balcony where we could look over the sprawling department store below. The show happens every hour so we had to sit still for about 30 minutes before the show started. I have to say - the kids were angels... ish... but they were good enough. The show started and large organ started to play in the store. The sound engulfed the entire store and the kids were hooked. We watched the light show, which actually is kinda plain and boring, but the kids thought it was the coolest.

After our trip back in time to The Wanamaker Building we continued along the 1920's or 1930's path and headed over to Maggiano's for lunch. Dude - I've never eaten so much food in my life. There were 11 of us, eating family style Italian food, and it just kept coming and coming. Fried Zucchini... Fried Mozzarella... Salad... Gnocchis... Chicken Pesto... Salmon... Chicken Marsala... Tiramisu... Creme Brule... Wine... Bread... mmmmm. Those bags you see us carrying below are not things we purchased in Macy's, no, they are the leftovers from lunch. Five bags full.

A Christmas Peek

2009-12-26T15:00:00.003-05:00

Here is a quick 2 minute videocast peek into the crazy Christmas morning here at Casa de Morris! I hope everyone had a Happy Christmas!

If you are interested in getting automatic updates for our videocast, click here to subscribe in itunes!

...or here for our rss feed.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T02:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, Sammy, There Is A Santa Claus

2009-12-24T10:39:00.009-05:00

I found this old article from the New York Sun (I've pasted the actual text below) and it made me start thinking about Sammy... this is probably the last year that he'll believe, unquestioning, about the magic of Santa Claus. You see - he's 7 this year and will turn 8 in July. I remember being a young child and it was about this time that some of the "cooler and smarter" kids at school started talking about Santa Claus being "fake" or "not real." I didn't know what to believe, but I certainly started asking the questions at this time... and eventually, as with all of us, my questioning was justified.

Well - as we cross this threshold of life, I just wanted to take a moment to think about the power of Christmas for little children and how magical it is to them. At some point, for me, all of this disappeared and Christmas became about getting everything done, or making sure we had enough money to buy all of the necessary gifts. It became something, most certainly, unmagical. (Is that a word - spell check says no.) Anyway - I urge everyone to take a moment, read the writing from 1897 that is below, and think about the magic in our life this Christmas. While we may know the truth about Santa, the magic is NOT gone. Think about the magic of love, the magic of children, the magic of togetherness... and don't forget that magic can exist in life - even if it isn't fat and wearing a red suit.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
The New York Sun - 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
- Virginia O'Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Random Thoughts and Child Locators

2009-12-22T10:09:00.006-05:00

RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
A very good friend of mine, whose wife is expecting their first child, joyously pointed out to me the other day that, because I have so many children, I have a very slim chance of dying alone. Thanks Joe and Merry Christmas to you and yours. :-)

Onto today's post - the picture that is above goes into the files at the Morris House as the "money shot." It gets this label for several reasons:

1. They are all wearing coordinating clothing.
2. They still are in the "super cute kid" age range (2-8)
3. They are all smiling and genuinely look like they get along (we know better).

The reason I bring this up today is because we recently submitted this photo to Brickhouse Security in an attempt to win one of their Child Locator products. We found out yesterday that we won and will be receiving the child locator in the mail in the next couple of days. I can't wait to try it out - but even more... I'm hoping that it creates some fun stories for me to share with the world. Here's hopin'...

UPDATE:
I'd like to see this set of quadruplets' "money shot."

War... What Is It Good For?

2009-12-20T21:03:00.006-05:00

Immediately following a wonderful weekend in Harrisburg with Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Siblings - we took the kids to the Civil War Museum on our way home from Harrisburg. We went from saying things like, "Christmas is all about family, togetherness, and love." to explaining slavery to 5 year olds.

I'm not sure why I was unprepared for this today but I had some tough conversations with the kids at the museum that were equally as difficult for me (to find the proper words) as it was for the them to grasp the concept, I think. James couldn't understand why a man was in shackles and behind bars if he wasn't a "bad" man. Anna wanted to know what all of those bumps on the black man's back were? Ella was asking questions about how people could be for sale and why a mommy and her son would be sold to different owners. Sammy did the museum created scavenger hunt and Robby really wanted to play with the guns (the picture on the right is of him hiding behind some sandbags to avoid The Confederate attacks). Anyway - the answers to their questions eventually started flowing out of my mouth and I had a real moment of clarity. As I was explaining some of the more shameful pieces of US History to four innocent Kindergarteners, it hit me that the main thing that should be communicated to them is - in our country's past some groups of people were treated really badly because of the color of their skin. And the reason that this museum is here is for us to learn about what happened - so that we can make sure that it never happens again. That ended up being the message of the day for the kids.

It's funny - when we were snowed in and sitting around the fire with our loved ones we appreciated being together and the love that we all felt - when we were learning about the concept of slavery and war - we ended up appreciating it even more.

Anyway - here's a picture of Anna in front of a gun.

Morris Quadruplets Videocast Premiere!

2009-12-19T11:43:00.002-05:00

Introducing our latest venture... The Quadcast Videocast. This is our first attempt at a videocast and I'm hoping to return to blogging and sharing our family experiences with you in the upcoming weeks and months! Enjoy and I'll talk to all of you soon!

Happy Holidays!

2 Points!

2009-10-01T19:22:00.005-04:00

Picture this... craziness. Kids are running in the house after a long day. It's 7:30 and they are tired, hungry, and excited to see their Daddy. Nobody is listening, everyone is fighting, and a select few children are actually crying.

Me: Guys... guys... guys...

Anna: Whaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Sammy: Nooo... stop it! Stop touching me!

Robby: I'm NOT touching you.

Anna: Whaaaa!!!!!

Ella: STOOOOPPP CRRRYYYIIINNNGG!!!

Sammy: Yes you ARE TOUCHING ME!!!

Robby: Na-ah.

James: Hi Dad! I missed you.

Anna: Whaaa!!!

Me: Guys.. seriously - chill out.

Anna: Whaaaa!

Sammy: Daddy - tell Robby to stop touching me!

Robby: I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!

Sammy: YES YOU ARE!!!

Anna: Whaaaaa!

James: Hi Dad.

Ella: I'm HUNGRY!!

Anna: Whaaaa!

Me: GUYS!

Anna: Whaaa!

Ella: What can I EEEEAAATTT!?!?

Sammy: ROB!

Me: QUIET!!!!!

Anna: Whaaaaaa!!!

James: DADDY - I SAID HELLO.

Anna: Whaaaa!!!!!

Me: Ok - 5 points for anyone who puts their school bag on the hooks.

Then... silence.

They shut-up and jumped into the tasks given to them. My kids are so competitive it's ridiculous. I don't know if this is a good thing or a complex at this point. As soon as I assigned arbitrary "points" to the task they immediately shut-up, focused, and became angels (albeit incredibly competitive and intense angels.) Never mind that the "points" actually mean nothing. This was completely out of the blue. We have no points reward system or anything like that. I just said the word "points" and they instinctively wanted them and did whatever was asked. The rest of the night kinda went like this:

Ok - 2 points to anyone who clears their plates.

1 point for each piece of laundry gets put into the laundry room.

3 points if you go up and get in the tub.

Amazing. I have no idea where they got this competitive nature.... oh - did I tell you that this week (following a year filled with a fantasy baseball league (where I made the semi-finals) and two football leagues) I decided to start a fantasy hockey league even though I know NOTHING about hockey outside of the Pittsburgh Penguins? So yeah - I have no idea where they get it.

I'm Old

2009-09-29T22:50:00.005-04:00

For the first time in my life I've decided that sleep is more important to me than staying up and doing stuff. (I know - I'm a 7 year old like that.)

I honestly just caught myself saying - hmm... if I go into the bedroom now I can catch the 11pm news and then fall asleep. What have I become?

I will leave you with two fun pictures - the first is Robby modeling the clothes that Mommy bought at the multiples sale. (Yes - his hair is blue. That's what happens when Daddy takes the boys to get hair cuts.) The second is where I found Robby hiding one afternoon last week - after searching FOREVER with no luck at finding him... and growing a bit concerned.

School... It Kicks Your Butt.

2009-09-28T09:19:00.009-04:00

It isn't a coincidence that I have not made a post since the kids started school. I'm exhausted and I feel like I never slow down. Geana's working, all five kids are in school full-time, and I've been getting them ready to go in the morning and putting them to bed at night by myself. I've also been extremely busy at work recently and I even do laundry during football games on Sundays. Needless to say - free time has been scarce.

This being said - I've been taking some notes of our goings on here at Casa de Morrisquads and some of the highlights from the past month are:

1. It took Robby and James about a week to figure out that the teachers at school tell them apart by the glasses on James' face. One day, in the second week of school, as I was unloading them from the van, one of their teachers said to James, "Good Morning Robby." To my astonishment Robby was wearing James' glasses and James wasn't wearing anything. Both boys has big shit-eating grins on their faces. Clearly they thought this was a RIOT! As other cars were pulling up into the car line and kissing their children goodbye - I had to quickly pull mine aside and tell them that this was not acceptable behaviour. To which James said, "Well - what if we just switch our shoes?" "Fine." You've gotta pick your battles in this house.

2. It also took about a week for me to get used to styling the girls hair. We're at the point now where I feel like I can brush their hair and not have them look like they've been on a 12 hour bender. This is a major accomplishment.

3. It's taken some adjusting for Sammy, who has been out of sorts with Mommy working all the time. He's slowly coming around and this morning he even helped me get the kids dressed. See - they wear uniforms to school everyday and today was the first day that the quadruplets had to wear sweatshirts over their collared shirts. Being a second grader, Sammy is an expert on the Saint Andrew School uniforms and was showing James how to tuck in your golf shirt first - then pull on the sweatshirt - and finally pull the collar out of the top so that it lays flat on top of the sweatshirt. This makes for enthralling reading, I'm sure, but it was super cute to look over and see Sammy being an older brother and helping out the little ones. It was one of those moments that just makes your heart melt.

4. Soccer. Let me fill you in... Saturdays have been taken up with soccer. The quads are on one team and Sammy is on another. We will sit at Hillcrest Elementary school for 3 hours or more on Saturday afternoons waiting for the games to start, watching the games, throwing football, and playing on the playground. Luckily - the weather has been phenomenal. Robby has turned into a little athlete (I think because he is very aggressive and has ZERO fear. I don't know if this is a good thing or not.) He has scored 3 goals in 2 games. I'm already looking into hotel accommodations in Oneonta, NY for the Soccer Hall of Fame induction weekend in 2045.

That's it from the Morris Family. Apparently our show aired again on The Discovery Health network last week. Check your local listings b/c if I'm not posting to the blog and you HAVE to hear about our family - you can always just watch us on TV!!!

Oh - one last thing... I was listening to this song on YouTube this morning as the kids ate breakfast. I heard Ella singing the chorus as she was getting out of the van today. We'll see what notes come home... oops!

The End of an Era

2009-09-05T10:59:00.011-04:00

Most of the kids baby things - highchairs, booster seats, bumbos, bottles - were all lost in the fire. One symbol of their toddler and infant years, however, was not. Our Quad Stroller.

We bought it from a family in NJ who had triplets but thought that the extra seat would be helpful to them. They decided that it wasn't and took it off. I remember when we got the dumb thing that the seats were painted blue and red... like it wasn't obnoxious enough as it is. I promptly painted the thing a more neutral color, reattached the fourth seat, and we were on our way.

This monstrosity took us everywhere. We took it to the zoo. We won parades by decorating it. We took it to school when Sammy had a Halloween parade. We took it to the farm. This stroller took a family that was, really, immobile - and allowed us to get places. Sure we drew attention wherever we went - but it was worth it. See, it was more than a stroller to us... it was freedom.

I took the picture above this morning. We're putting this bad boy on the block and hoping to sell her to another quadruplet family that is looking for freedom and has still not really been able to find it. Our kids are starting kindergarten and don't fit in it anymore. Subsequently - we have to find ways to pay for their school shoes, their folders, their school bags, and their activities. It's funny because I can see us moving onto another stage in the "High Order Multiple" life. We're selling away the last remnants of their infanthood so that we can move on to the next stage and survive.

Quad Runabout Stroller: $450
Quad Runabout Stroller Carrying Hitch: $150
Selling your freedom: Priceless

*We're selling the Stroller and Hitch together for $500 total if you are in the Philadelphia area and able to come and pick them up. Leave me a comment.

Movie Night.

2009-09-04T20:27:00.010-04:00

I got home sooner than usual today because work let us out early for the holiday. With the extra time, I thought tonight would be a good night to sit down with the quadruplets and watch a good, old fashioned family movie. After searching Netflix Online I ended up deciding upon a can't miss... a classic.

Some of the more diligent readers may remember that we recently watched Jaws with the kids and had a blast. It was harmless and we made a game out of it. The kids actually had a fun time with it and so did Geana and I. Tonight on the other hand... was a different story...a Neverending Story. You'd think we were watching Silence of the Lambs. Let me walk you through the movie.

Like many people in their early 30's, I remember The Neverending Story from my childhood. I remember the song... "The Neverending Stoooohoryyyy.. da da daaa, da da daaaa, da da daaaaaa.." ...and I remember this guy...

I told the girls at the onset of the movie, without really remembering anything about the film, that there are princesses and princes and horses... and it isn't a cartoon - it's all in REAL LIFE! They perked up.

Ella: Wow - real horses? I'm gonna love it!
Anna: Me too!
James: Are there unicorns?

The were hooked. This was going to be the movie of the century - the best pick in years! (It's hard to get a movie that all four of them enjoy). Then... about a half an hour into the movie this happens:

Yup - that's the scene where the brave and beautiful horse gets sucked in to the swamp of sadness and promptly expires. No more horses or unicorns would make an appearance for the remainder of the movie. Crap.

Anna: Daddy - I don't know if I'm gonna like this movie. Are there anymore horses?
Me (having no idea): There has to be, honey. It's a fairy tale, don't worry about it. After all - it was the swamp of sadness. You're bound to lose a couple of animals in the swamp.
Robby: Yeah - like Bambi's Mom!
Me: Shut-up, Rob. There is a cute dog coming up soon. Just wait!

Unfortunately before the nice cuddly white flying dog could show up... we get this guy.

This made all four kids jump out of their seats and lay on my lap - I'm being pummeled here.

James: This dog isn't fun. He's mean.
Ella: Daddy - I don't like this movie.
Robby: It's like when Olde Yeller gets rabies!

I was about to turn the movie off when our friendly dog (The Luck Dragon) showed up and the kids just loved him. Whew! Were were out of the woods. They were re-engaged and watching quietly. Things were looking up.... And then we come to this scene:

James: Dad - I can see her boobs. They should put a shirt on that statue.
Me: I know, James.
Robby: Yeah - like in Roadhouse when...
Me: Shut-up, Rob.

Okay - I made that last one up but I couldn't resist.

We finished the movie up and the kids are now in bed - surely dreaming of evil dogs, dead horses, and boobs. But honestly - the ending of that movie stinks. The empress is sitting with Bastian (the kid who read the book) and hands him a grain of sand. She tells him that this is what is left of Fantasia. She instructs him to make wishes and it will come back? WTF? Lame. This movie will be one of those movies that will remain in my head as a wonderful movie from my childhood that was ruined by watching it as an adult.

Kinda like Roadhouse.

Sheesh! I'm sorry...

2009-09-02T21:06:00.006-04:00

Let me open by saying I apologize for not giving you your Morrisquads fill. I will strive to never let it happen again.... but it will happen so don't kill me. I do have five kids, you know.

OK - several things have kept me from posting recently. They are...

1. My blackberry broke while we were in the rain at the Harrisburg Senators game. Now I realize that I don't write my blog with my blackberry but I use my blackberry in gathering and organizing my ideas. (Stay with me... I'm about to let everyone in on a little secret). Since I carry my blackberry with me all the time, as I notice something that I find funny or humorous I make a note to myself on the blackberry. Then I'll go back to the device when it is time to post and the nuggets of hilariousness are sitting there for me to pluck from my electronic gathering tool. Follow? So - now that I have my blackberry back I'll post more. Okay?

2. I've been "slightly" obsessed with my fantasy baseball team recently. (If you ask Geana or any of my fellow league members the word "slightly" may be replaced with "completely" but I digress...) See - I gave up in early August and traded away my entire team for a few AWESOME players that I am permitted to keep into next year. Well as it turns out - I've skated into the playoffs and I'm actually beating the number one seed this week. I have a team full of guys named "Homer" "Gio" and "Skippy" but somehow I'm winning. He has a team full of superstars making millions of dollars who refuse to sign autographs and like to get drunk at bars with loose women. Anyway - I actually have a legitimate shot at winning this week and I can think of nothing else except winning at the moment (I can't help it... I'm competitive - but in a good way... really... I promise.) Don't get me started... I could go on but in the interest of keeping some readers I'll stop. Here is a cute picture of Sammy following my team and watching the Phils on TV. He's getting obsessed too. (By the way, the screen shows my team at 153pts and my opponent's team at 95. That's Brad Penny on the television - shutting out the Phillies after not pitching in weeks. The Phils have J. Happ pitching. Happ should be winning but he's not because he's on my opponent's team.)

3. School is starting and Geana has a job. For those of you who don't know, Geana got a teaching job for this fall. She has been preparing lesson plans and going to "teacher's only" days at her school. We're also trying to get the kids on a decent school schedule (going to bed early) and get all of their back-packs, lunch boxes, uniforms, etc. ready for the first day. Climbing Mt. Everest would be easier.

4. Lastly - football has started.

Williamsport = The Best Place on Earth.

2009-08-25T20:00:00.002-04:00

The game was won in the final inning by the team from Georgia. One kid on the team from Washington State had the worst day of his young life, I suspect. We'll call him Brad Lidge. He was called on to relieve the starter in the final inning of the game. The starter, we'll call him Cliff Lee, had pitched incredibly - giving up one run through 5 and scattering about 6 hits. Little Lee opened the 6th inning with a walk and the manager immediately called for his closer. In comes the twelve year old Brad Lidge. He has a one run lead. The score is Washington 2, Georgia 1. There is a runner on first. Nobody is out. His job is to preserve the lead... and the win for his team. Lidge proceeds to throw three consecutive wild pitches - advancing the runner from first to second... second to third... and lastly third to home. Tie game. There were some intermittent hits and walks after this and, frankly, I can't remember how the go ahead run came in but the top of the 6th ended with Washington being down 3-2, having given up the lead, with only one more set of at bats to try to win the game... or go home. Young Lidge, for all intents and purposes, had lost the final elimination game for his team. He was visibly upset. But there was hope...

In the bottom of the 6th, Georgia brought in their closer - we'll call him Lee Smith. The kid was GIGANTIC! Like - I wouldn't be able to make contact off of this little leaguer. Anyway, in true baseball fashion, Lidge was given the opportunity to redeem himself in the bottom of the inning. There were two outs, the tying run on third - the winning run in scoring position on second base. This was when mighty Lidge comes to the plate. Redemption time. After several blistering fastballs, the count runs to 3-2 and the brave young kid fouls off, what seems like, 20 pitches. At this point Lee Smith is bringing nothing but heat. It's sheer power vs. skill. Lidge keeps fouling off pitches... he's staying alive. Battling. Finally - Smith reaches back for something special and blows a high hard one right past a swinging Lidge. The Georgia team erupts in celebration while young Lidge throws his bat and helmet and cowers into the dugout - where his coach embraces him and tells him, surely, not to cry for they have had a great season.

My dad, the boys, and I all piled into the car yesterday to venture 3 hours into the mountains in order to catch a glimpse of the Little League World Series - happening in Williamsport, PA.

Well, it's official. The LLWS has officially topped my list of fun things to do with the kids. If you like baseball, if you like free and fun places to take the kids, and if you like climbing up to the top of a hillside only to slide down headfirst on a cardboard box - then this event is for you. (The one draw back is that beer is not permitted. I know... I know... you CAN watch baseball without drinking beer - but it isn't quite the same.)

After exiting Interstate 80, the drive to Williamsport winds you through the Appalachain Mountains and, at moments, looks down upon the Susquehanna river below. We passed several card shops and fresh produce stands along the scenic drive. This is little town America through and through. Upon arrival, there are two stadiums - Volunteer Stadium and Lamade Stadium - that are connected by an awesome concourse including food stands, picnic tables, souvenir shops, and sunflower seed stands (SWEET!). Games were scheduled at 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, 6pm, and 8pm.

We got there just after the 2pm game started. We peered through the gate, hoping to find five vacant seats in the packed Volunteer Stadium to no avail. As we were standing there gawking at the Latin American team taking on Japan, Orel Hershiser breezed by us. It happened so quickly that I barely had a chance to tell the kids who he was. "HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS OREL HERSHISER, KIDS," I told them. "Who?" "You have so much to learn, children." Orel had just grabbed a hot dog, it appeared, and was heading back into the Press Box. So cool.

We finally settled in on the hills beyond the right field fence at Lamade Stadium. We figured that we could grab a drink, find some cardboard (for the hill), and wait for the 4pm game to start. The best way to describe the atmosphere there is like a folk festival. Lawn chairs littered the hillsides beyond the outfield fence and the smell of grilled hot dogs and hamburgers filled the air. The kids behind us stretched out a blanket and displayed their impressive collection of baseball pins that they had diligently collected throughout the week here in Williamsport.

The kids met new friends, slid down the hills, and talked about pins and baseball cards, while my dad and I sat back and enjoyed America's pastime being played by twelve year old boys from all over the world on a field in rural Pennsylvania - where 15 thousand baseball fans flocked to see them, cheered, and ate grilled hot dogs while they watched... and longed for a cold beer.

Robby's Prayer

2009-08-23T20:03:00.002-04:00

...as dictated to Bridget, our babysitter.

Rain... it breaks stuff

2009-08-22T09:37:00.003-04:00

My parents and I took the boys to the Harrisburg Senators game on Thursday while Geana took Ella and Anna to a doctor's appointment and then got their nails done.

There are two things that I enjoy photographing more than anything else... the kids... and baseball. When the two things intersect, I thoroughly enjoy the task of snapping away photo after photo. I took this picture as we got there and uploaded it to twitpic right away... good thing I did.

When we got to the ballpark it was about 85 degrees, and rising, with 99.9% humidity. By the third inning we had spilled one large Sprite, realized that we forgot our sunblock, and went to the potty 3 separate times. (As an aside - Metro Bank Park still uses old school urinals. The last time I saw these were in Cleveland's Municipal Stadium in 1988. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about - instead of individual white porcelain urinals - they have a single stainless steel trough that runs the length of the bathroom wall. Guys have to claim their spot, unzip, and just let her rip. No privacy. No shame. No nonsense. The boys thought this was great! Upon seeing the trough, James said, "Dad - what is this? Do you take a bath in there?" Ummmm.... no.)

The kids were miserable... like "end of the world" kind of miserable. At one point we went to the ATM machine, which was in a small air conditioned kiosk, and James said, "Dad - this is the best part of the whole trip so far!" We stayed in the kiosk until an old lady came up behind us and we had to vacate the premises. I think she thought we were robbing the machine.

Then... the skies opened up in the 7th inning. It poured. And poured. And poured. Then it let up for a second... and then it poured again. We were soaked. Before the rain started, it was up to 90 degrees and the rain was a welcome relief. I've never stayed in my seats during that type of rain at a ballgame. They were still playing and we were the only people in the seats. The first baseman for the Curve, Jason Delaney, felt sorry for us and gave us their warm-up ball after they were done and starting the bottom of the 7th. Here is Sammy and my Dad in the rain with the ball. The large streaks in the picture are the rain drops pelting down from the sky.

Eventually the umps delayed the game and we left. I took a hundred awesome pics - most before the rain came. When I went to upload them to the computer, it didn't work. Likely because the rain got the camera wet. The pictures above came from my phone that I sent to facebook or twitpic. My phone died, too. As we speak it is sitting in a bag of rice - still trying to dry out. Please keep my phone in your thoughts and prayers... UGH. I learned a valuable lesson this week - STOP TAKING PICTURES WHEN IT RAINS, MORON!

Other than the phone breaking (the camera works again), we had an awesome time. Minor League baseball with the kids is so much fun! I recommend it for anyone with kids. It's actually more entertaining than the big leagues, because of the close proximity to the players and the fun games in between innings. Sammy caught a t-shirt, too.

Distracted...

2009-08-20T08:30:00.005-04:00

First of all - I'm posting this while trying to watch the three boys and keep their excitement contained for our trip today. We are leaving for Harrisburg to see the Senators play the Altoona Curve in about a half an hour. It should be fun!

Yesterday, at the Morris house, we had a little kid's party for the quadruplets. There were twelve kids here - five of them were ours. We played on the water slide and sang happy birthday... all of the usual stuff. I think that I could get used to this staying home stuff. (I took off W-F of this week).

I'm searching for stuff to write as I'm telling Robby and James to let Sammy go to the bathroom in peace... so I'll just leave you with this picture from yesterday. I'll be posting more pics of our baseball trip today to my twitter account. Follow me if you haven't done so already... a link is on the right side of this page. BYE!

Beat It

2009-08-16T18:10:00.003-04:00

One of my fondest memories as a child was dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller Album at one of my childhood birthday parties (probably about age 6 or 7) at my old house in Pleasant Hills. It was barely dusk. We'd been partying all day and Thiller must have been a recent release. (Playing with my cousins on the weekends still sits as the BEST thing about my childhood - particularly during football season. This event happened to be in the summertime... but I digress.) Anyway - our backyard had a patio that sat right near the house and looked upward to a hillside, sloping gradually up to a plateau at about five feet. On that evening, my cousins and I decided to use that plateau as a stage and do crazy monster dances to Thriller, Billy Jean, and Beat It.

Last night Geana and I took all of the kids to Glenolden's fireworks display. They had been postponed from earlier in the year and this was the make-up date. While we were waiting for it to get dark, the DJ was playing a lot of songs from the Thriller Album and MJ's Beat It came on. I caught myself thinking back to my childhood where - at about this same age - at about the same time of night - at about the same time of year, 24 years ago, - I was doing crazy dances to this very song with the children closest to me in my life. I don't really know what took me there - it just kinda happened. I watched the kids dancing and couldn't help but think of them in 24 years. What would they be doing? Who would they be with? Would Michael Jackson still be played at events like this?

After a bit of reflection, I immediately pulled out my camera and started to capture the kids dancing and laughing together. This was the video of Ella, James, and Robby that I got... once again Robby steals the show.

"Bow Chika Wow Wow"

2009-08-15T16:07:00.005-04:00

Aunt Melissa & Uncle Justin got the quadruplets and Mommy Roku for their birthdays. I can already tell you that this thing is going to change our lives - especially when it gets too cold to go outdoors. It's a device that connects to Amazon.com's video rentals and to Netflix. You just log on through Roku and virtually any video that you want shows up on your TV within seconds. It's phenominal!

We started the day at Sammy's Gailic Football tournament but left after his first game because of the unbearable heat. After briefly stopping at home base, we were going to head out to the pool - but it quickly turned into a lazy day where we cleaned the house and played in the backyard instead. After playing in the sprinkler for about 30 seconds and having a mega fight about it, we decided to watch a movie with the new device. Cool A/C was the solution to today's heat.

We've decided that, until we watch our first 4 movies, we will rotate the movie selection process through the Morris Quadruplets until we've all picked one. Today was James' turn to pick the movie. After about a half an hour of browsing through movies online, he chose "Bow Chika Wow Wow" - or as most people call the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." (Gotta love my kids!)

James and Robby didn't make it through the first 30 minutes without climbing all over everyone and decided that "Bow Chika Wow Wow" wasn't really that great of a movie afterall. I was asleep after about 20 minutes b/c, I too, have never really enjoyed this classic flick.

Although our first attempt at watching a family movie together via Roku failed (somewhat - Mommy, Anna, Ella, & Sammy are still watching) I'm sure that we'll be watching many more movies in the future.

Any movie suggestions for tomorrow?

Birthday Presents

2009-08-13T00:01:00.002-04:00

Today is the quads birthday - and it's also Geana's birthday. She wrote this earlier in the week and I thought I'd share it with you today. Happy Birthday to my lovely wife... and to my four crazy quadruplets.

By Geana Morris:

OMG – were you freaking out when they told you, you were having QUADRUPLETS!?

Do you want the real answer? Or, the answer I give people on the street because I know it is what they want to hear?

Street: OMG, YES. I was totally freaking out. I was like, OH MY GAWD - WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

Real: No. Strangely enough, this weird sort of calm came over me. Anyone who knew me pre-quadruplets could tell you I am not a calm sort of person. But, when faced with the overwhelming truth of something incomprehensible, my body went into this calming mode that even I can’t explain.

As my four are turning five, it is causing a nostalgic moment in which I look back and ponder wistfully at the last five years of my life. Where did the time go? The last time I looked, I had 4 babies and now I have 4 soon-to-be kindergarteners. What’s the deal with that?

As a biological defense mechanism (I suppose) my body has forgotten some of the story re: pre-birth and birth of my quadruplets. Fortunately, I have a Discovery Health show from which my most vivid recollections come. I do remember bits, like feeding time when I would line the kids up and use my homemade bowl contraption to feed them sort of like an assembly line and singing (to the tune of Down by the Station),

Up in the bedroom, early in the morning
See the little babies all in a row.
See the little Mommy feed the little babies
Chug, chug, toot, toot, off we go

I didn’t know what to expect. I knew I would need 4 cribs, lots of bottles, formula, diapers, etc. But other than that, there really wasn’t anything to prepare for prior to bringing them home. I was fortunate to find an organization called Mothers of SuperTwins (MOST). There I joined a group specifically for Quads, Quints and Sextuplet parents. The group and reading lots of books, gave me some sense of what I would need and some decisions I would need to make along the way. Like, RSV – I had no idea what that was prior to having premature babies. But I was ready for the visitors when my babies came home.

In addition to MOST, I found Mainline MOMs. The only group of people who don’t refer to me as “the quad mom” – well, most of the time. It’s a place I could go to and be Geana Morris. I am a mother to quadruplets, therefore I get the adjective. But there, I was just a mother like the rest who had too many kids and not enough hands. Albeit, I had 8 (10 really) hands, but who’s counting. This group of women didn’t let me drown alone. They forced themselves on me because they knew if they didn’t I would’ve tried to go it alone. No – they didn’t force help like bombarding and taking over babies, etc. They forced me to get out, laugh, talk, and think about other things at a time when I could’ve just vanished into a haze of babies and all of their stuff.

Oh, and the baby nurse, Rye. I had no idea who she was. Really, an online friend gave me her info and in a desperate moment when the quads were 6 months old, I called her. She came over, took pity on me and within two weeks scheduled the babies and forced me to get dressed EVERY day. That was a hard task – not the scheduling, she had that under control in ONE day. It was the dressing thing… I had no clothes! Rye saved me and my marriage. The quads still got to bed at 7:30 every night. Everyone says “Oh…. You must have gotten no sleep for the past 4 years” I definitely play into it when it will get me some sympathy, but truthfully, from 6 months old the quads slept from 7:30pm to 7:30am EVERY NIGHT. We got more sleep then singleton parents who rock their babies to sleep and refuse to put them in bed awake letting them fall asleep on their own. Suckers! (jk – not suckers, just ill advised)

Between then and now, it is all a blur. In fact, I often come to tears when looking at photos from the last 4-5 years. I have a vivid memory of Robby pushing himself up to sit and turning around to look at me (is it a true memory or Memorex – I’ll have to go watch the shows to figure it out). I especially love the clip of Ella trying to walk at Theraplay and falling back on her bum (thanks D.H. for thinking that was worth seeing). Otherwise, my heart breaks at the memories that couldn’t be stored in this over-worked brain of mine.

I do remember lots of hugs and kisses. Sheesh – I can’t get out the door without hugging and kissing everyone. I will need to remember that and plan accordingly once I start working again. I know my kids yell, because I yell. I am trying to work on that. I do as well with not yelling as I do with dieting. Every morning I wake up and it is going to be the day I do everything right…. Usually by 10am I’ve yelled and eaten the wrong things! Some day. Some day.

I’m gearing up for the first day of Kindergarten. I can’t tell if I will be emotional or not – you know, it’s been a long five years. Will I fill up at the thought of my babies growing up? Or, at the thought of how the heck did I just do what I did? Remember, in the beginning I had no idea – I still don’t. I was looking at my sister’s 14-year old twins tonight and thinking – HOLY GOD, what am I going to do with 4 of those!? No, I think I will be filling up because they survived me. Regardless of how I messed up or yelled or wanted to be anywhere but here at times, they survived. I don’t know about you, but I know there were days when the sun came up and I thought “how can I do this again?” Thinking, this cycle never stops – day after day, after day – this is hard and I’m tired – this isn’t glamorous and if one more person rushes over wide-eyed and gushing I will scream. They survived homework and tantrums. Meetings. Boredom. Because sheesh – there were times when I was bored to death. I love them and all, but hey I loved working in town and going out to lunch and taking showers and buying clothes and talking to people too. Yea… they survived me.

So, instead of all that, I give the street answer:

OMG, YES. I was totally freaking out. I was like, OH MY GAWD - WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

Happy 5th birthday to Robby, James, Anna & Ella – the best birthday presents ever!

New Statue

2009-08-09T22:05:00.003-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted recently - most of my free time has been dedicated to sculpting a new statue for the front lawn...

1 Year Ago

2009-08-02T14:00:00.000-04:00

Exactly one year ago, yesterday, was the worst day of my life. If you are new to this blog, our family endured emergency brain surgery to Sammy (our oldest) at about 6:15 in the evening, followed by a devastating house fire at about 9:15pm - from which our friend and Geana's sister safely evacuated all four of our three year-old quadruplets as well as their own two children (cousin Justin is in the pic above). Sammy was hospitalized for a week and we were out of our house for about 4 months as it was cleaned and rebuilt. As I reflect back on those memories, I can't help but be grateful for each member of my wonderful family. We could have easily lost all of our children on August 1, 2008.

Sammy:
Thank you for being so sensitive. I know that I get on you at times for not being "tough" enough and for not sticking up to your little brothers when they gang up on you. I know you can do it and just choose not to. When I really sit back and think about it... I'm glad that you are so caring of the others around you. That deep rooted quality within your being will set you apart from almost everyone else as you grow up. I urge you to not let go of that piece of you as you get older and to let it be the foundation of who you become and share it with everyone who gets close to you. It makes you incredibly special. I love you. Thank you, also, for you increased interest in baseball this past year.

James:
You're always trying to make people laugh around you and I see the delight in your eyes when you achieve your goal. Sometimes you cross the line to inappropriateness (is that a word), but as you get older and learn how to navigate that line and make people laugh without talking about poop and butts (sometimes it still works), you'll become even more funny and make me laugh even more as time passes. Thank you, also, for allowing me to link back to a poop joke in this post.

Robby:
You're brilliant. Your mother and I know it. Sometimes, though, your brilliance is lost in your strives to gain our attention. I'm sorry for that. Please know that we can see past your misbehavior and occasional craziness into the bright, smart, and intelligent little boy that you have become. I will strive to give you the attention that you need in order to help bring out the incredible little boy that lives within you. Thank you, also, for all of your help while I've been in my cast. You've done everything that I ask of you - even taking out the trash at the ripe old age of four years old.

Anna:
You are so caring of your brothers and sister as well as your Mom and Dad. You constantly are doing things to make your siblings laugh - usually so that they stop crying. You're wonderfully wacky and I can see the creativity that bubbles within you. You're also hot and cold, my dear. When someone crosses you (even if it's me) you aren't afraid to show me how you feel. But then your crooked smile lights up my eyes and your dimples pierce my heart. You are my grandmother - Gram Morris - through and through. Thank you for living up to the nickname, "Drama" that I gave you when you were a weeeee little baby.

Ella:
You may have the smallest body in the family but you have the biggest mouth. I can hear you as I walk up the street, walking home from work. You're usually yelling at Robby and James or calling for your Mommy. Fortunately for those around you, your hugs are as big as your mouth. Honestly - I've never felt a hug from someone that is so strong and complete as when you give me a hug. Your fake kisses, as you lick my cheek, are wonderful, too! You fill my heart and every one's who comes around you. Thank you, also, for learning to snore so loudly that you wake me up in the morning when you come into Mommy & Daddy's bed.

Geana:
We've been through a lot this year and, though it all, we've remained together. Sometimes that's simply enough when the stress gets so great that you don't know what to do and don't know where you can turn. I'm looking forward to a new year with a little less brain surgery, some fewer house fires, and a little more time for the two of us... together. Oh yeah - and congratulations on your Master's Degree that you just finished in July. You did it - despite all of the stress and craziness!

What a Let Down!

2009-07-28T12:04:00.009-04:00

For the record - keeping a chronicle of my everyday life at work is nowhere near as fun as doing so on the beach with quadruplets - but I thought I'd give it a shot to see just how entertaining it can be...

Got coffee:

Typed an e-mail:

Added some stuff:

Sharpened a pencil:

On another note - as I was commuting home from work yesterday, still in a cast, I got on the subway and nobody offered up their seat. Ok. Fine. I'm annoyed - but whatever - there is a seat at the end of the car, I will sit there. All the woman has to do is move from the outside seat to the inside seat and let me sit with my scooter in the aisle and it won't be in any one's way. Perfect. (This is an annoyance of mine, too, by the way. To all of you passive aggressive a-holes out there that ride the subway and think that the seat next to you was created for a bag, purse, or your invisible friend so that you don't have to share your double seater with me - you are mistaken. If you really don't want someone to sit next to you, man up and tell me that when I try to sit down rather than rolling your eyes at my insistence on the moving of your bag.) My children will never do this.

Anyway, I made my way down the aisle next to the lady. I stood... she didn't move... I stared at her... she stole quick little glances up at me, still not moving over... I stood some more... the subway pulled away from the station... she stared straight ahead like in a trance, no longer stealing quick glances up at me. The inside seat was still empty and it became crystal clear to me that this woman had no intention of sharing. Being a stubborn cripple these days, I refused to ask the question, "May I please sit down - after all, asshole, I'm wearing a freakin' cast." So I stood. The. Whole. Ride.

About 20 minutes later we both got off at the end of the line. I tore off down the platform on my scooter, mad as hell, but not having said a word. I was mad at myself now for not coming up with something witty to say. When...

As I was waiting for the elevator to come back down to the platform, the lady made her way up and stood next to me, also waiting for a ride up. This was my chance! I can also be a passive aggressive a-hole. The elevator opened. As a gentleman, I usually let a lady in first but today I was no gentleman. I sped into the elevator on my scooter, positioning the monstrosity that carries my left foot around these days just in front of the elevator door so that she couldn't make her way in. I smiled and said, "Sorry - there's no room. You'll have to get the next one." I shut the door and proceeded up to the station level. When the elevator opened up I pulled the little red "stop" button and went on my merry way.

Ahh... sweet victory!

OCNJ - Day 7

2009-07-25T20:28:00.004-04:00

I didn't have time to post last night because we were packing up to leave. Then this morning we were rushing to get out by 10am. Then my internets were giving me problems at home... At long last here is a list of events from the last day of our vacation:

1. Beach
2. Buy Hermit Crabs
3. Geana and I went out to eat crabs and drink beer... not the hermit crabs.

As I was laying in bed the other night I was thinking - "What is summer vacation without a soundtrack?" I was listening to a lot of DMB this week - so here you go... about a 10 minute slide show of our pictures.

To my kids: When you look at the posts from this vacation 10, 20, or 30 years from now, guys, I wrote them for you. Mommy and I had a great time! Thank you for being such wonderful little people and for filling our lives with so much joy and love. Every moment is a treasure and an adventure.

OCNJ - Day 6

2009-07-23T20:54:00.016-04:00

What is one to do with four year-old quadruplets at the beach when it rains all day?

First off - you've got to accept the fact that the day is lost and that you are going to be left to your own devices to find creative, entertaining, and fun stuff to do. A trip into town is what we decided would be fun. They have food, they have shopping, they have crafts, and it turns out - they have fire trucks. Other than the rain - it was destined to be a wonderful day!

We started off by stopping in a beach store where Ella promptly found a new pair of sunglasses that she just HAAAD to have. After much deliberation, we (Ella and I) decided that she was a bit too young for this particular pair, although they were cute. We took a picture anyway to relieve any screaming in the store. Maybe she can get them in 2026...

From there we traveled down the main drag a bit further and we found another store called "Butterfly Boutique" where we made crafts and painted stuff with the kids. It was perfect.

Back out into the rain. Grandma suggested that we seek out the firehouse - which turned into the highlight of the week so far. We walked into the station and we were promptly scooped up by fireman J. O'Neill of the OCFD and given plastic fire helmets. He took us on a tour of the station. I mean - everywhere. He took us into the kitchen, the sleeping quarters, the locker room, the room where they sit and watch tv, and of course - the garage where they park the trucks. The kids all had a million questions and weren't the least bit shy to tell them about our house fire that happened about a year ago. We headed into an ambulance where they told Fireman O'Neill about Sammy's trip in the ambulance. No doubt Fireman O'Neill could tell that the Morris Family are veterans when it comes to setting your house on fire or getting whacked in the head with a golf club.
After sitting in the ambulance and asking him about oxygen tanks and broken legs, James and Ella took turns trying on the fireman's gear. James said, "Dad - I don't want to be a mall Santa anymore. When I grow up I want to be a fireman! Okay?" I told him that he can be anything he wants to be (secretly saying, "YES!!!" to myself). Ella looked adorable in the gear. I just wished that I had the beer glasses to add to the outfit. Oh well... maybe in 2026. No - wait - if she's hanging out in the firehouse in 2026 and trying on the firemen's clothes that would also fit into the category of unacceptable. But I digress...

We left the firehouse and ventured back out into the rain. Everyone was in a great mood, despite the downpours. Nobody was even thinking about the ocean, the pool, or the sand. We stopped at some restaurant for lunch... mmm...

At this point we were exhausted. It was time to venture back to the house - but not before stopping to smell the beautiful flowers outside one of the stores.

We got home and took a nap. Remember - naps are your friend. Robby and I had a brief argument on this point but I eventually won... barely.

Daddy: Time for naps guys.
Robby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Daddy: Yes. If you take a nap you'll have more energy for later.
Robby: To do what? It's raining. We can't go anywhere.
Daddy (trying to think of something threatening): I'm gonna call the firemen and make you sleep in the station with them.
Robby: Fine. I'll get my shoes on.
Daddy: Ugh.. Rob - just go to bed.
Robby: Ok.

He puts up a good argument but when push comes to shove he knows when to give up. He makes the most wonderful faces, though.

When the kids woke up we had shrimp for dinner with Old Bay...mmm...

Then the kids did a craft with Grandma and Caitlin while I watched the Phillies game. They went to bed full, happy, and excited for Mommy and Sammy's return (which should be late this evening.)

OCNJ - Day 5

2009-07-22T21:00:00.009-04:00

So far... we've survived. Breakfast was donuts made on the boardwalk again... mmm...

I'm realizing that this blogging everyday thing is harder than you would think. I feel like I'm just giving you guys a mundane download of daily activities... but have no fear... today's post will be gripping, enthralling, and even downright controversial. (Not really... but you're hooked, right?)

We started the day with a puzzle. Fun stuff. James liked it.

Then we (Caitlin, my mother, and I) got the kids dressed and we all headed to the beach (my dad came too.) As I sat on our porch yesterday watching fathers lugging mounds and mounds of overly excessive (albeit necessary) beach equipment up from the beach with their wives and small children rooting them on - I decided that I would venture out to the beach today despite my cast. I would not bring the mounds and mounds of equipment, though. The Morris' are minimalists. Each kid would get to carry a bucket, a shovel and a frozen margarita. I mean what is a beach vacation if you can't enjoy your kids' time on the beach? We dressed the quads, lubed them up, and set sail for the shore.

Surely you noticed the cute children burying Caitlin in the sand but look at the picture again - did you notice the pathetic gimp in the background? "HEY HAND ME A MARGARITA!"

Robby was attacked by a wave and when I asked him how big it was he couldn't stretch his hands up high enough. I asked him if he held his breath when the wave got him and he looked at me with the most indignant face and told me, "No Dad - that would be cheating." I didn't ask him to explain. I just went with it.

We spent some time after lunch around the pool - cooling off and relaxing before coming inside for naps. That's right... kids take naps on vacation from 3pm to 5pm while on vacation with Satan Dad. We all need them. We all love them. And when it's 9pm on the boardwalk - we all appreciate them!

Naps were followed by a round of miniature golf where I taught the kids that you drive for show and putt for dough. To which Anna replied, "Dad - I have no idea what that means." She proceeded to hit a 35 on the back 9 and kicked all of our asses... I think I was being hustled because she won a round of ice cream for her brothers and sister after we finished up our round of golf. That's Tiger on the right.

Ice cream... mmm....After ice cream, golf, and dinner (not necessarily in that order) - we headed home to crash... and crash we did. The kids got ready for bed and fell right asleep in their beds. They wanted to watch a movie in their room because there is a TV and a VCR. The only problem is that the only VHS tapes that the place owns is 101 Dalmatians (which we've seen 101 times) and a Clint Eastwood western. We opted for no TV tonight and they didn't put up a fight.

Now it's time for Daddy to fall asleep. Honestly though - I'm not having to do much. My mother and Caitlin are really doing most of the work and I'm sitting in the background barking orders. But I think Anna speaks for us all in saying, "COME BACK MOMMY!"

OCNJ - Day 4

2009-07-21T18:53:00.012-04:00

I should've known that today was going to be a bad day as soon as I woke up. Today - we woke up at 7am again. There is just something about vacation that makes kids wake up early. I've decided to just accept this - and sleep when I'm dead.

The morning started by me coming upstairs, getting on the computer, and updating my blog - as I've done every morning. On this day the kids were out of control - running up and down the steps, jumping on the couch, screaming at the top of their lungs... anything you can think of. Geana promptly dressed the kids, loaded them up, and left to get them out of the house.

I showered and then caught up with them about forty five minutes later at a quaint little restaurant in town where they were having pancakes and eggs for breakfast. On the surface - they had seemed to calm down a bit.

From there we headed to a store which I will refer to as "my nightmare." This place is lined with shelves and shelves of breakable ceramic figurines, plates, coffee cups, jars, trays, jewelry boxes, etc. The idea is for each kid to pick one, paint it, and then they fire it in a kiln for you to pick up in a few days. Robby seemed to think that this was a good place to practice his jumping jacks and James his yoga stretches. Surprisingly - we escaped the store without breaking a thing. But don't get me wrong - it was touch and go for awhile.

We all painted something (to be picked up Thursday) and headed home to the pool to spend a few hours before Mommy and Sammy had to pack up and head back to Philadelphia for the next three days - Geana has school, Sammy a swimming banquet. (For you new readers - bad things happen when Geana leaves. I don't know why. I've stopped questioning it. It just happens. Geana went away for a weekend a few months ago and came home to Sammy's broken thumb and Ella's asthma putting her in the hospital - stay tuned...)

We headed to the boardwalk, sans Geana and Sammy. The kids all got a small toy to play with before we headed home for baths, dinner, and bed. I managed to snap this great picture of all of them playing with their toys and showing the love for their brothers and sisters:

At this point - it took a turn for the worst - nothing catastrophic... but annoying. I will leave you with a string of text messages between Geana and I from last night:

Kurt: Boardwalk tickets?
Geana: In my handbag.
K: Bummer - ok.
G: I hate school.
K: We hate your school too
G: I miss you guys already
K: We almost got caught in the rain on the boardwalk.
G: Was your cast covered?
K: Nope - I cruised home ahead of the kids. It didn't rain.

(a few minutes later)

K: Robby hit his head on the doorknob.G: Is Robby ok? Who went to the boards?
K: He's fine. Also - James fell off the top bunk but Ella broke his fall. Everyone is ok. We all went except my dad. How is class?
G: Make sure you give Ella her meds.
K: Done. Anna just whacked her head on the table when giving me hugs and kisses good night.G: Kiss them for me.
K: I did. Also did you unclog the toilet before you left?
G: Yes.
K: Ok - something must be wrong with it because it just overflowed all over the bathroom floor. See you soon!

If we live... more tomorrow...

OCNJ - Day 3

2009-07-20T17:22:00.016-04:00

The kids, again, woke up at the crack of dawn and wanted to play. Grandpap had gone to the local donut store already and was armed with bait to lure the kids upstairs to the kitchen and bought Geana and me an extra 10 minutes of sleep. It wasn't much but it was something! Nice work Grandpap!

We decided that we wanted to spend the day doing something that Daddy could participate in. I can't swim in the pool... I can't go to the beach... I can't really do the boardwalk very well without falling on my face... so we decided to go crabbin'.

Let me preface our trip by saying I hate fishing. I hate the smell of fish. I hate the way fish feel all slimy. I hate the sight of fish. I hate anything having to so with fish. I mean - I love shrimp, lobster and crabs... but fish - not so much. We got there and the guy reached into his "bucket 'o dead, gross, fly infested fish" and cut a dead bunker in half with his hatchet, spearing him through the eye onto our crab lines. Our bait was set. I just about puked... Robby said, "COOOOOOL!" I'm a wimp. It took Anna about a half an hour to get down from standing on the picnic table because she was so grossed out. SO... either - a) Anna takes after her Dad or - b) I'm a four year-old girl when it comes to crabbin'.

We all got our chance to hold a crab. We caught one without any claws so it was safe for everyone to hold onto him.

James - who at home loves to dig for bugs, worms and other creatures - had the time of his life!

Sammy...
Ella...
Robby...
Anna...

On the ride home from crabbin' all quadruplets fell asleep. I have a theory (which was confirmed today) that people are designed to nap from 3pm to 5pm. If it were not for the wonder drug, coffee, I would succumb to a nap everyday at around this time.
Dinner was spent at the Deauville Inn where Sammy decided that he was too big to order from the kids menu and asked for Chicken Parmesan instead of a hot dog, macaroni and cheese, or chicken fingers. I think that NOT ordering from the kid's menu is as much a passing of age as your first kiss or the first time you experience the death of a loved one. Well - maybe not that much but something certainly changed tonight. Our seven year-old is growing up. Here is a picture of Sammy from 2003, just before our first visit to the Deauville Inn - before the word "quadruplets" was even a thought in our family...

OCNJ - Day 2

2009-07-19T12:21:00.017-04:00

This morning started at about 7:00am with the kids running into our room and waking us up, unsympathetically. "LET'S GO TO THE BEEEEAAAACH!" To which we were forced to raise ourselves out of bed and begin our day. Tomorrow's response to the children will be, "I hear Grandma has Poptarts and crack upstairs - go get'em!"

Shortly after waking up we had a minor scare concerning some weird bug that had taken residence in our laundry basket. Geana had found it this morning and I, being in a cast, wasn't about to hobble all the way back downstairs just to kill a bug (but to take pictures of the kids killing the bug - that I could do). Robby quickly was on the job...

Finding the bug

Squishing the bug

After a breakfast of coffee and Poptarts, Geana headed to the beach store to get some buckets, shovels, and toys while I lubed the kids up with sun block. It wasn't long before we were ready to venture out to the beach. Well - before they were ready to venture out to the beach. As I mentioned before - I broke my foot while carrying in a loaf of bread a few weeks ago and won't be heading to the sandy shores this vacation. The kids don't seem to care much - they just want to get out of the house and onto the beach. They've been cooped up WAY too long already (only about an hour - can you tell they were ready to go?)...

The kids headed out to the beach with Mommy, Grandma, and Caitlin (our friend's daughter who came with us to help with the kids) while I sat down on the porch for the next three or four hours to finish up reading Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince and to start writing down some thoughts about our morning - while enjoying a Capri Sun of my own. This may be the most relaxing vacation I've had in years.

By the way - whoever thought of these things was a GENIOUS!

The kids, Geana, Grandma, and Caitlin came back from the beach, having taken many pictures for me to see how much fun they had. Really - even though I got to relax all day, it still stinks when you see the pictures of the kids on the beach and know that I can't participate this year. Oh well - maybe we'll come back in late August or September when I can go on the beach for a day. They look like they had a blast!

When they came back to the house, we all jumped into the pool and played a quick game of shark and Marco Polo. The kids couldn't quite grasp the rules and kept opening their eyes and singing Da dum... da dum...

The evening was spent on the boardwalk eating dinner, playing games, and getting ice cream. Robby was able to win a big shark at Wonderland Pier who he named "Bruce" and I only fell flat on my face once. (It happened to be as I was attempting to cross the railroad tracks of the little train ride that they have that runs around the pier. Sorry - I didn't manage to capture that magnificent moment on camera but I'm sure it would have been hilarious - me sprawled out across the train tracks as the locomotive fast approached... fun times.) The kids all took turns helping me navigate on my scooter and we turned it into a game after my spill. This is Anna...

After we got home and put the kids to bed Geana, Caitlin, and I went to see Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. I successfully finished the book earlier in the day and, therefore, I allowed myself to see the movie. It was amazing (as was the book). Now it's time to start the final book of the series and will probably get pretty far if the kids and Geana go to the beach again. I don't know what the plans are yet - but I'll share it with you tomorrow in my next post.

BTW - we had great seats at the movies...

OCNJ - Day 1

2009-07-19T07:20:00.005-04:00

Our first day got us in around 4:30pm or even 5:00. I think that God created beach traffic just so that you appreciate your vacation that much more when you get there. As with all vacations that we take we brought 2 cars - one for kids and one for luggage. I drove the luggage this year.

Upon arrival we immediately invaded the pool that we share with our neighbor. They are the same people that were here last year so the shock of five kids running into the pool was less than it could have been. The woman made the comment that the boys had gotten big (as she packed up and started making her way in from the pool just as we arrived.) Anyway - cannonballs and intense screaming ensued for the next two hours.

I have to say - having four year old quadruplets is sometimes difficult to navigate with others. I mean - we got this place because it has a pool and it is easier to take the kids to the pool for a day rather than the beach. But there are times when you kinda feel bad because these people also rented this place because of the pool, and here we are taking over - because it is impossible for us to do anything less. Then again - they rented last year when we were here and came back so they must like us!

Dinner was at Pino's, one of our favorite family restaurants down here, where they had HUGE meatballs in the kids' spaghetti and my salad was pretty good. Geana had Penne Rosa and liked it. My mom had Salmon which wasn't spectacular. We'll be back there as the week moves on, I suspect.

Pictures of kids tomorrow...

Ahhh vacation!

2009-07-17T09:48:00.003-04:00

We're heading to the beach tomorrow. It's that festive time of year when we all pile in the van and head down to the shore for seven days of fun, sun, and boozing it up. Leading up to these seven days seems to inevitably be seven hours of yelling, screaming, and fighting to get out the door. Ahh... vacation!

The problem this year is that - I'm in a cast... and we haven't packed yet... and we won't have time to pack tonight because of plans... and the house is a mess... and... I can't really help. You get the idea. I still think we'll make it, though. I have confidence in the kid's packing abilities... and Geana's. :)

I'm sure we will be on the road tomorrow afternoon and the kids will be singing loudly as we tool down the highway on our way to the beach. The stress and energy to get out the door is all worth it once you're on the road. Just keep your eye on the prize.

I remember growing up - we were heading home from the beach and a car exploded in front of us in the Liberty Tunnels in Pittsburgh. Everyone had to pull their cars as close to the walls of the tunnel as you could so that emergency vehicles could get through. We ended up having to evacuate the tunnel and walk to the end of it. I couldn't tell you where we went on vacation that year but I still have the newspaper of our family walking out of the smokey tunnel, hand in hand.

Ahh... vacation memories. Here's to making more in 2009!

All Stars!

2009-07-14T22:17:00.008-04:00

I sat down last night to watch the HR Derby with Sammy. Is there any better sporting event to share with your 7 year-old son? I think not. We donned our team's uniforms, got some ice cream, and settled in for the extravaganza. It started off with David Cook - the legend from the other TV show that we watch together. Neither of us made it all the way through it (we fell asleep) but we had fun saying, "Back - back - back - back.... GONE!" a la Chris Berman for awhile.

Fast forward 24 hrs. to this evening and we took our spots on the couch again... watching the hype, adoring our players, and waiting for the game to begin. This time it was Anna and me watching the game. Sammy joined us later (after his game of war with Mommy) but the night started out with just me and Anna. I started taking notes right away. Here were some of the priceless moments that I enjoyed this evening watching the game with my 4 year-old daughter:
--

TV: From the New York Yankees... Shortstop - DEREK JETER!
Anna: Daddy - why do they call him Derek Cheater? Are all the Yankees cheaters?
Me: Yes, dear.
Anna: That's what I thought.

--
Pepsi will be happy to hear that, as we're sitting there together drinking our generic brand of root beer and watching the festivities drag on and on, Anna turns to me and says, "Daddy - why do they keep saying 'Pepsi' all the time? Maybe we should be drinking that instead of root beer." Holy crap! That marketing stuff really does work!
--
Why is it that the Pirates didn't even have a representative in the "All Stars Among Us?" Not one of them was wearing a Pirate's jersey. We really do stink.
--
Sammy came in just as the game was beginning and proceeded to expound on how he learned, at the local library, that baseball started during the Civil War when soldiers needed a break from fighting and made up baseball to pass the time. That's why it's called the National Pass Time.
--
By the bottom of the 1st - Anna was asleep and Sammy was ready for bed. A fun night was had by all - for sure!

Chores

2009-07-07T16:32:00.003-04:00

As I'm tooling about in my Scooter 3000, struggling with all that I have to do, I can't help but think about all of the stuff that will be done by my minions once the kids get a little older. Right? To name just a few:

Trash: This morning I had to take out four cans of trash. Mind you - we don't use dinky trash cans in the Morris house... we use freakin' huge ones - the kind with an attached flip lid. I like to refer to them as mini dumpsters. The way I see it - in two years time I won't have to take out the trash again for another 10 years. I can't wait. I'm already training Sammy on this task.

Lawn Mowing: Currently we have a gentleman who graciously comes and cuts our grass for about $1,000,000 a summer. That added expense will soon be eliminated when the kids are old enough to cut the grass themselves. What is the right age? I say 7.

Dishes: As you can imagine the dishes in our household (when we don't use paper plates) can pile up pretty quickly. The kids are already clearing their plates and (sometimes) setting the table. Once we can get them loading and unloading the dishwasher I'll be able to sit back and watch the ballgame while they clean up the kitchen after dinner. Again - I can't wait.

Laundry: I have a strategy for this one. I figure that once they are teenagers the girls, at least, will refuse to wear stank ass clothes. In my mind the equation is pretty simple, "Want clean clothes, girls? Wash them your damn self. Oh and while your at it - wash mine, your mother's and your brother's clothes, too. Thanks! T-Shirts go in the second drawer and polo's in the third. On your way through - pass me a beer."

Can anyone else think of chores that children will eliminate from my list as they get older? This concept hit me like a ton of bricks today and I'm hoping to compile a full scale list within the next 2 years.

Birthdays, BBQ's, and Broken Bones

2009-07-05T10:33:00.006-04:00

Talk about a lot going on.... wow!

Sammy's birthday went well. We got him a basketball hoop, finally got it put together thanks to help from Poppy, and now he's a regular Magic Johnson. He even beat Kevin, a seventeen year-old friend of the family, although I suspect Kevin went easy on him. Here is the star taking a second to mug for the cameras...

But what I suspect everyone will find the most hilarious piece of the weekend was me fracturing the fifth metatarsal on my left foot. Yup - that's right... I broke my foot. It happened just after we had gotten Sammy's hoop from Target. I was carrying the 250 lb. behemoth into the house in an attempt to get it out of the rain. It was still in it's box and the rain was starting to come down pretty hard. I figured it best to get the thing inside. Well... I dragged it from the street to the driveway... to the door... lifted it over the threshold... slammed it down to the kitchen floor.... BOOM!! Success! It was a tough task in flip-flops, but I got it done - sans injury. It was when I went back to the car to get the loaf of bread that I rolled my ankle on my wet flip flops on the sidewalk.

At first the ER Doc thought it was the dreaded "Jones Fracture." An ordeal that keeps people off their feet for up to 20 weeks - especially Diabetics, of which I am one - and often times requires surgery with pins to get it to heal properly. To put this into perspective - I would have only one functional leg until CHRISTMAS - including hospital time and about a week of complete immobility for surgical recovery. Yeah... that would fall into the "sucks" category for sure. Lucky for me - it was just a standard run of the mill "klutz fracture" and I'm only going to be incapacitated for 6 weeks or so. The good news out of all of this... I drove down to Delaware to pick up my cool new roll-a-bout just in time for the neighborhood July 4th parade. Ella and I won 2nd place.

Rule of thumb: If you are forced to look like a dork, for any reason at all, include a kid because then it becomes less about you looking like a shmoe and more about the kid looking adorable.

Unfortunately I head back to work tomorrow, with no kids at my side, and I will be back to being a dork...

Too Soon

2009-06-30T14:24:00.005-04:00

One passing, that happened yesterday morning just outside of Pittsburgh, PA, has definitely hit me the hardest this month.

Kathy Cecotti, my high school theatre teacher, succumbed to a five-year battle with cancer yesterday. Almost immediately there was a facebook group created called, "Remembering Mrs. Cecotti." Literally hundreds of people, whose lives she has touched through her teaching, caring, and creating, have come together to pay their respects and to celebrate her tragically shortened life. She was a remarkable person who lit up a room and was forever laughing and smiling.

I look back on this month, with the makeshift memorials throughout the world to Michael Jackson and the thousands of tears flowing as we lost a beautiful artist and woman in Farrah Fawcet, and I can't help to pause on the hundreds of other deaths... those you don't read about... those of teachers, of caretakers, of parents and children. People who have touched the lives of many and just quietly pass away - unbeknownst to me. Unbeknownst to anyone really... other than those with whom they graciously shared a piece of their lives. I truly admire and respect people who give selflessly to others, particularly to children, and who sacrifice their own time to benefit the lives of the kids around them. It makes me strive, to this day, to be a better person. Mrs. Cecotti did that for me... and for thousands of kids.

I was a senior at Thomas Jefferson High School when she came there in 1994. She must have been about 27 or 28 years old. Younger than I am today. It makes me want to go home and squeeze my kids even more and thank God for the blessings I have been given. My thoughts and prayers are with the Cecotti family today.

Instead of saying Rest in Peace or You are Missed or any of that stuff - I'd rather just say, "Thank You!"

In the picture above, Mrs. Cecotti is the one on the left.

Back to fun topics later this week...

Whew!

2009-06-29T23:33:00.003-04:00

I've had a whirlwind several days. Geana went to Connecticut with Sammy for a Gaelic Football Tournament and I was left with the kids for the weekend... some of the weekend highlights were:

My friend Adam came over and we BBQed on Saturday

Sunday was spent at the pool - but before we went we headed to the flea market where they were selling jersey's for $1 each. Needless to say - we bought a few. No rules apply when the jerseys cost $1.

Also at the flea market the kids got to hold parrots and later we went out to dinner for pizza and then watched ET.

There were no hospital visits.

I think I'm recovered now - but I'm still too tired to be funny, witty, or to write anything meaningful. I'll just leave you with this video which, despite his death, I find utterly hilarious. It really starts at the 0:45 mark. Rest In Peace Billy Mays.

Accepting Votes for Parents of The Year!

2009-06-24T22:22:00.005-04:00

The other day Sammy was playing the theme to Jaws on the piano. It was innocent enough - it was even unintended. Da Dum... Da Dum...

We searched for a YouTube clip that had the theme song so that we could show him. Upon looking and looking and looking - Geana finally found one and showed it to Sammy - who thought it was pretty cool. I mean, I guess he thought it was cool because he kept playing that damn song (if you can call it a song) for the next hour. Da Dum... Da Dum... Da Dum...

This led us on a trip down memory lane and we looked up the details of the movie online. It was made in 1975. It starred a young Richard Dreyfus, and - to our surprise - it had a PG rating! "WHAT?" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME" were some of our comments. Yup - PG. Check it out here. This quickly led to a discussion that went kinda like this:

Geana: It's rated PG - we should watch it with the kids.
Kurt: Totally!

We couldn't wait for Netflix so we ran to Hollywood Video to rent the movie (yes those stores still exist). Make some popcorn and hand me a soda, Mom, we're about to watch a shark eating people at the beach! Woo Hoo!! Robby and James were psyched! Anna and Ella - not so much. Sammy - still playing Da Dum... Da Dum...

We got home, turned down the lights, and settled in to watch the movie.

I should place a disclaimer here that we do teach our children that everything on tv is fake and that it is just pretend. Ella's response is always, "Everything on tv is fake... except for us, right Daddy?" Turns out this is true.

Anyway - back to the movie...

Anna & Ella took solice in each other. They pretty much sat next to each other, hugging, the entire movie. Mommy and Daddy took turns hugging them, too, of course. Robby and James were running around the room with their hands sticking up like a fin saying Da Dum... Da Dum... And Sammy sat next to us and watched intently, really enjoying the movie. If this wasn't Parental Guidance, I don't know what is.

I do have to say that - HANDS DOWN - the universal "favorite" part of the movie was when they were all in the boat, at night, drinking and singing the song, "I had a drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head!" See - this is the song that Grandma sings to them at bedtime when they visit her house. We'll see how that goes next time she sings it...

Oh - and our beach vacation is in less than a month!

Did Ya Ever Fall in Love Again?

2009-06-23T20:54:00.006-04:00

WARNING: SAPPY POST!
(you've been warned)

Have you ever caught yourself looking at one of your kids and just melting inside? That happened to me tonight with James. It was shortly after Robby had created World War III with Anna and Ella by taunting them with his new Aunt Monica (harmonica). And it was just before Ella threw a fit worthy of an Oscar because she wanted a hug from Mommy before bed.

I had just kissed his skinned knee and told him that it would be okay and he just looked at me and said, "Daddy - I really love you." It was one of those moments when you feel utterly responsible for this little life that is in front of you. It was completely unprompted and he didn't want anything from me in return. (That's often a game my kids play... I want a cookie therefore - Daddy, I love you... now gimme a cookie, man.) I'm not sure why it got to me - perhaps because he caught me unaware at a moment when I was able to give him my undivided attention. He looked at me with his glasses on the tip of his nose and just said it.

I remember a specific time in the NICU, holding James and trying to get him to take a bottle (this was before they learned how to suck.) I thought to myself, "I'm so lucky to be able to hold this little guy in my arms and be able to look around and see three other babies just waiting for their turn. I'm never going to be short of love in my life."

Today he proved it. I love you too, buddy!

My Thoughts on Jon & Kate... for those who care.

2009-06-22T21:44:00.006-04:00

Ok - I've been asked about 100 times about my thoughts on this stupid television couple. I sat down - for the first time - and watched an entire episode tonight and I have the following things to say.

1. I've never watched this show in the past because it always seemed too real to me. I've caught bits and pieces here and there. It was like watching my life and, frankly, it wasn't that entertaining... to me. I live a life with high order multiples everyday. I know what it's like to get tons of kids dressed in the morning or to brush teeth, or to give baths etc. Therefore - I'd rather watch SportsCenter with my television viewing minutes...

2. They have made their decisions, all of them, in order to benefit their lives and to "get" what they could in order to provide their kids with stuff that they could never have provided had it not been for TLC and for their show. Listen man - having multiples is freakin' EXPENSIVE. Instead of buying that powerwheels for your kid you're buying those 4 powerwheels for your kids (I'm not complaining - this gives you the jeep, the escalade, the backhoe, AND the pink car). Instead of buying a box of poptarts at the grocery store - I buy them on pallets at BJ's. I understand and, honestly, congratulations for being able to "get" what you have gotten. I wish I could have done that for my kids. (Instead I have a backyard of empty pallets.) Now - as it turns out - this has become their careers... which is fine. Their single source of income is from their tv show. To those of you out there who have said to me, "They should just stop doing the show. Why would they put their kids through that?" Answer me this - would you just quit your job, your only source of income, for any reason at all without having anything else lined up that is comparable in compensation? Honestly - you want to really screw your kids - go ahead and do that. They put themselves in a tough spot but I completely follow the path that they were on. Benefit 1: an unbelievable documentary of your children's lives that they will have forever. Benefit 2: income you couldn't have dreamed of (with greater expenses (b/c of having multiples) you could never have dreamed of). Benefit 3: Fame. Honestly - 90% of people would do it if they were presented with the opportunity. I guarantee it.

3. I blame, largely, their producers. Not for their failed marriage - but for the direction of the show. People watch the show to watch normal people being overwhelmed by kids... yet managing to succeed somehow (or fail). People that middle class America can relate to. Someone should have told Jon & Kate that people don't want to watch them in a multi-million dollar home or driving sports cars or in designer clothes. Don't get me wrong - make the money - but save it. Invest it. Squirrel it away. This show certainly isn't going to last forever. Keep living life getting free stuff from sponsors, free trips, free help, and all of that. But don't put on the perception of being "rich". Make your money, but hide it away for later. This society will turn on you on a dime - especially if it is perceived that you made $$ off of your kids - and that is what is happening, regardless of the cheating, etc. Someone should have guided them or had some type of artistic control of the show. Or the Gosselin's should have anticipated this themselves. This, to me, is the biggest reason for failure.

4. I feel that they are living their life FOR their show, now, which the show should be a window into the reality of their life. As soon as they start living FOR the show instead of the show being a window into reality - it becomes fake, unreal, and consequently uninteresting. Does this make sense? I want to see reality - not their scripted version of reality. (Well - I don't want to see it at all but most of America does, it seems.) The fact that they filed for divorce on the day that this show aired was kinda ridiculous to me. If you are going to get divorced - then get divorced - but don't schedule your filings based on your television show's airing schedule. Pahleeease.

5. Don't forget that they are just normal people who have been handed an overwhelming life. They made decisions in the face of this overwhelmingness (is that a word). Some of their decisions were good and some were bad. They are just people trying to make it - just like you and me. Jon, in particular it seems, got a taste of the famous life and started to live it up. What he didn't realize is that he isn't "a real celebrity". The same rules don't pertain to you as to George Clooney - sorry dude. You're just a dude - one with a bunch of kids - that nobody is going to care about five years from now (except maybe your kids). George Clooney - he'll still be on tv in five years. Jon Gosselin - not so much.

6. Lastly - they need to stop saying that what they are doing is for the kids. It plays as a cop out and bullsh@t on tv. This goes to my point #3, though. How is your sports car for the kids? Your hair plugs? Your designer coats?

I will never speak of these people again on my blog... unless they commit murder, have a sex change, or invite me on their show. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Sunday Podcast

2009-06-21T19:12:00.007-04:00

We were at my Sister In-Law's house for Father's Day today. I had an awesome day with the kids, eating lobster and waffles and ice cream. In fact - I think I'm getting powdered sugar on my niece's laptop right now. (shhh)

I played 5 songs in today's episode... enjoy!

The Quadcast #21

Joshua Kadison - "My Father's Son"
www.joshuakadison.com

Mr. Westmore - "Misplaced Orchestra"
http://www.facebook.com/pages/edit/?id=93360854107#/pages/Mr-Westmore/93360854107

Joe Purdy - "Walking Down"
www.joepurdy.com

Shannon Hurley - "California"
www.shannonhurley.com

Jonathan Coulton - "Ikea"
www.jonathancoulton.com

Dude... What Did They Do?

2009-06-20T23:01:00.003-04:00

1. What did they do before You Tube to get psyched for sports events and then to bask in the glory of victory?

2. What music did they use prior to 1988 in sport's montages?

3. Lastly - how did people live, in 1979, without montages like this one - readily available for your viewing pleasure?

CITY OF CHAMPIONS ONCE MORE!!!

Brilliant Idea #389

2009-06-19T23:33:00.008-04:00

Have a 6 year-old tball game start at 8pm.

I guess the 6 year-olds can handle it. The game didn't get over until about 9:30 and then the ice cream and sodas didn't get over until about 10:00pm. Sammy had a blast and said, "DAD - I felt like I was in the World Series!"

And, really, I felt like I was watching him in the World Series. It was really cool to see him on a nicely manicured field, under the lights, and actually playing the game of baseball... with outs and everything! He played second base.

Did I mention that I was there without Geana? With four year old quadruplets? Whose normal bedtime is prior to 8pm?

In the Morris parenting system, the children are raised by two separate, yet equally important parents. The Father - who seems to get into predicaments when the mother is not around, and the Mother - who decided to go out tonight. These are our stories. (DUM DUUUM)

Ella deciding that she wanted to go home. This went on for about five minutes straight:

Anna's Muddy Feet:

James wants a seat:

Anna & Ella want nachos:

Robby's skanky feet:

911

2009-06-16T21:36:00.003-04:00

We had a visit from our local police department this evening. I got home from work and, as soon as I walked in the door, the phone rang. It was the police.

Cop: Did someone dial 911.

Geana: Probably.

Cop: A unit is on their way.

Turns out that Robby called the cops this time. (We've had other instances when it was another one of our little angels deciding to make an emergency call from my cell phone.)

In all honesty - I can almost justify his call... almost. Turns out that Anna accidentally nudged him down the basement steps. She stands by her story that it was an accident. Well - when he landed at the bottom he hurt his leg (not badly - just enough to feel it necessary to call the ambulance). He decided to get up, pull the chair over to the wall, stand on the chair so that he could reach the phone, call 911 and tell them what had happened. He must have really been driven to do this because the phone in the basement is one of those old rotary phones where you have to spin the dial to dial the numbers. I really wish I could have a copy of that phone call recording. Does anyone know how to request recorded 911 calls?

Sunday Podcast

2009-06-14T22:34:00.005-04:00

I have decided to record a podcast every Sunday (we'll see how good I do.) I'd like to do a podcast from wherever we plan to go with the kids on that day but so far I've been a chicken sh@t and have been afraid to whip out my laptop and headset microphone at the pool or at a party. One of these days I'll do it... But for now - listen to Robby, James, and I discuss our day and play four awesome tunes for your commute into work tomorrow. Enjoy!

Quadcast # 20 - Starring Robby, James, & Daddy!

“Street Corner Preacher” by Amos Lee
www.amoslee.com

“Trees” by Kingsfoil
www.kingsfoil.com

“Computer” by State Shirt
www.stateshirt.com

“Hot Balloon” by 100 Year Picnic
www.100yearpicnic.com

You can subscribe to the podcast by going into itunes and searching for The Quadcast. There are two podcasts by this name but you should be able to figure out which one is mine.

How You Know You Are Old

2009-06-12T21:35:00.004-04:00

1. You clean the bathroom in between periods.

2. You honestly have concern for yourself that you may actually have a heart attack during the game.

3. The five people you were watching the game with fall asleep before the 2nd period because it's past their bedtime.

2-0 in the 2nd Period... GO PENS!!!

Pittsburgh is The Best City In The World!

2009-06-11T10:38:00.007-04:00

There is a campaign going on to get Pittsburgh's official website to show up at the top the search when someone searches "The Best City in The World."

As you may or may not know, Pittsburgh was recently named the most livable city in the US by the Economist and has recently become widely regarded as a really cool place to live (probably because I left). As someone who grew up in Pittsburgh, I have strong ties to the city and a big part of me wishes I was still there. Visiting several times a year and hanging out in Edgewood with my sister and going to the Children's Museum or going to Pap's for a Steeler's game in the fall has really become one of the highlights of the year for our family.

If you have a blog or a website, take a minute to link to Pittsburgh's official site using the anchor text as The Best City in The World. More information can be found in the article that I linked to at the onset of this post...

And GO PENS!!!

UPDATE: I hear Bill Cowher is coming to Pittsburgh for the G-20 summit and plans to root for Russia.

My Conversation With God

2009-06-09T13:18:00.004-04:00

Me: Good afternoon - this is Kurt.

Geana: Yes - GOD?

Me: Ummm... ok.

Geana: Yeah - God... Robby just peed outside on the driveway.

Me: What? Are you kidding me?

Geana: And God, he won't say he's sorry.

Me: Was it an accident?

Geana: Even more than that, God, he said he's going to do it again when I'm not looking.

Me: What's going on? Robby peed outside, he's not sorry, and he is going to do it again? What happened? What's going on?

Geana: Robby - talk to God. He wants to know what's going on.

(Robby in the background): Mommy - God knows what's going on all the time! I don't have to tell him.

Me: Don't put him on the phone... my door is open.

Geana: Hey Rob - God can't talk to you right now. He's too busy. Also - he's pretty upset. You'd better say your sorry before it starts to thunder and lightning.

Me: Ugh... let me talk to him.

Geana: Looks like he freed up, Rob. God will speak to you now.

Me: No - I'm going to talk to him as ME!

Geana: Oops Robby - sounds like someone called him on the other line. God put me on hold.

Me: Geana - purgatory sucks, huh?

Geana: Shut-up.

Robby: YOU CAN'T TELL GOD TO SHUT-UP!

Geana: Don't tell me what to tell God.

Robby: But you can't tell God to shut-up, Mom, that's not nice. And he's GOD!

Geana: Not nice is peeing on my driveway.

Me: Ugh. Let me talk to him.

Geana: Here Robby. He's on the phone.

Robby: God?

Me (in deep godly voice): Yeess Rooobbbyyy. It is me... God.

Robby: I'm sorry my Mommy told you to shut-up.

Me: That's okay. She didn't mean it. I forgive her. Everyone sins... some more than others.

Robby (to Geana): He forgives you, Mom.

Me: Now - did you pee on the driveway?

Robby: Yes.

Me (trying to be super Godly): WWWHHYYYYY?

Robby: The devil made me do it.

Me: What did he say?

Robby: He said, "Rob - go outside and pee on the driveway."

Me: You'd think the devil could be more creative, huh?

Robby: I know. I think it was James in dress-up, really. I'll ask him. JAMES - I'm talking to God. He wants to know if you were dressed up like the devil and told me to pee on the driveway.

James: Can I talk to Santa?

Robby: No - I'm talking to God right now and he's really busy. Mommy already told him to shut-up.

James: But I want to talk to Santa.

Robby: God - is Santa there?

Me (as me): Robby - stop peeing on the driveway. Ok?

Robby: (silence)

Me: Robby?

Robby: Dad - I didn't know you worked for God.

Me: We all work for God, Rob. Now don't pee on the driveway again.

Robby: Where's God?

Me: He left.

Robby: Ok. Mommy - I think Daddy killed God.

Ok - so 95% of this conversation is made up. Geana did call me and pretend I was God after Robby peed outside - but when I started trying to recall the conversation my imagination kinda took over.

Artists

2009-06-07T21:55:00.008-04:00

Today was spent at Eastern University watching Anna and Ella's dance recital, followed by lunch, and then Sammy's piano recital... an Epic day.

At about 12:00, we tooled up to the University in the coolest vehicle ever made - our obnoxious Chevy Express with an oh so subtle bubble top - we exited the vehicle, and proceeded to make our way into the theatre in a single file line. Don't mess with the divas that are the Morris Family.

After we unloaded, Geana took the girls back stage and finished getting them ready. By the time they were all done up they looked like rock stars and, if I might say, were the cutest girls in the whole recital (but you can decide for yourself). Ultimately - they really had a fun day and the recital was a blast!

I hope you paid extra close attention and noticed the big yellow cut out of a ballerina that was hanging center stage. You'll notice that it is in one piece and doesn't seem to have a rip going from her neck to her arm pit... yet... (more on that shortly).

The recital was followed by lunch at Bertucci's. Mmm... they have the best Martguerita pizza with caramelized onions. I only dropped one slice of pizza on the floor before Geana confiscated the serving thingy from me and served the pizza herself. One day I'll learn to just fall in line with the kids and stop trying to help with stuff... but not today! Luckily we had enough pizza (the leftovers, I'm eating right now... mmm.)

Anyway - we played with pizza dough, scarfed down some food, and then we headed back to Eastern for Act II - Sammy playing The Can-Can. While we were waiting for Sammy's recital to start we took some pictures outside on the beautiful campus. As you can see - the boys really illustrate the beauty that is the campus of Eastern University. I had a feeling we were in for a long afternoon...

Let me tell you... the girl's recital was perfect. It was about 45 minutes long, all of the numbers had no more than 6 kids so that they ALL were in the front row. They didn't split them up into front and back. It was very well done and I couldn't stop praising the school for its organization. Bravo to a school which I've already raved about. The music recital - not so much.

I'll start by saying they really didn't have a choice. It was what it was and the length couldn't really be helped. After about 2 hours of listening to other kids play the piano, clarinet, trombone, and sing Tomorrow from "Annie" - Sammy finally took the stage. Before I talk about Sammy's stellar performance, I'd like to mention Geana's contribution to today's shows. Remember that yellow ballerina I told you to take note of... well... here it is after the dance recital:

See - Geana was trying to go backstage and was on one side of the curtain while the performers were on the other side. As any unsuspecting parent might do, she thrust the curtains open, not realizing that their was a paper figure pinned just above her head - half to the right side and half to the left side of the curtains. As she forced the curtains open, she heard (along with a riiiiiip) the booming voice of the school director, "WHO IS OPENING THAT CURTAIN?" Before he could see her face, Geana ushered the curtains shut and bolted off stage to a sea of other adults, milling about with their other children. She was safe... but the evidence remained. If the Napoli's are reading this blog - Geana Morris did it... but you didn't hear it from me.

Anyway - Sammy kicked some can-can and rocked the house. Here is his performance. It was a fun day... and after taking another hour and a half to, upload video, organize pictures, and write this post - I'm exhausted. Good night all! Enjoy...

Tonight

2009-06-06T15:10:00.002-04:00

We have a CYO Mass at 5:00 tonight followed by a banquet where Sammy is getting an award. As a parent I'm really torn. I do want to see Sammy get his award, but my other kids' bed time is 8pm sharp. What's a guy to do? Out of concern for the youngsters, I think I need to skip out early (provided that Sammy has already received the award) to ensure that they get their proper sleep.

Geana doesn't seem to believe me.

Cast Off!

2009-06-05T14:33:00.002-04:00

Dude... What Did They Do?

2009-06-04T11:49:00.005-04:00

I'm going to try to keep this up... we'll see if it happens. I'm starting a new segment here on BBB called, "Dude... What Did They Do?" The purpose of this section is to attempt to rationalize how people did something prior to existing technology (usually Internet related - but we'll see). Today's question is...

"Dude - how did they pick people up at airports before cell phones & the Internet?"

I had a friend coming in last weekend who was staying at our humble abode. One of my tasks was to pick him up from the airport. I did this with ease because of several basic pieces of technology.

1. I looked up his flight online to see if it was on time. It was. I promptly headed out the door en route to the airport to pick him up. I left about 20 minutes prior to the designated arrival time. Now - if the flight was late... I would have delayed my departure time to coincide with his arrival time. Fortunately the computer told me that this was not the case... but you can imagine instances where planes are delayed - can't you? (This particular flight was from O'Hare to Philadelphia so it was the single flight in the past 12 months that was NOT delayed in following this flight path.)

2. I navigated to the airport using my GPS system. This new technology really didn't do much for me because, if anything, it led me through the ghetto to get to the airport - and so I'm not too thrilled with this advancement. I am, however, alive.

3. I coolly parked my car on the shoulder of the road, cranked up the radio, and sat and waited for my friend's text message telling me that he has landed. After about 5 minutes, buuzzzzz, he was on the ground. Another 10 minutes went by and, riiiinngg, he was outside of baggage claim. I put the car in drive and tooled around the airport, having him in my car within 60 seconds. Other than the fact that the median was an incredibly shady place to park and I could have been car jacked, raped, or killed - I picked him up flawlessly. Here is a picture from my car - parked on the shoulder. The far sign says, "No Shoulder Parking." In the car in front of me - Charles Manson.

Can you imagine if it was 1982 and his flight had been delayed? I would have been driving around and around and around the airport aimlessly for hours. I mean - he could have called me at home when he landed from a pay phone but that would have added an extra half hour to the pick-up time. (Not bad - but what about those people who live 2 hours away from the airport?)

This is just another example of technology making, even the little things, a whole lot better.

Lazy Waitress

2009-06-03T17:05:00.003-04:00

The other night we went out to eat. There are several things that irk me when we go out to eat. Let me tell you what they are...

More often than not, the waiter or waitress says to us, "Oh my God!!! Are they all your's?!?!?!?!" We politely answer, "yes" and tell them that four of them are quadruplets. "Yes - we have 3 tv shows. Yes - it's really rare. Yes - we do go out to eat." This is all fine. When we go out I expect to be stared at and asked questions. I've gotten used to this by now and, frankly, I would stare at us if I saw us at a restaurant. What I find unacceptable is that a signficant amount of times the waitress is so distracted by our kids that she screws up the order or doesn't listen to what we say. This happens a lot. We've got it down, now, where we can already tell that our order is going to be screwed up before we even give them our drink order.

The second thing that is annoying is when they bring the kids' food out 5 or 10 minutes before they bring the adult food out. I understand you think this is the best parenting approach. Well - you're wrong. I understand that you are trying to help. Well - you're not. Answer me this - would you rather be corralling kids when you are eating or when you are NOT eating? See - when the kids get their food they sit quietly and eat while Geana and I twiddle our thumbs. Then the kids finish just as we get our food. Now they are ready to move onto the next thing - crawling under the table, banging their silverware for dessert, hitting their siblings... you name it. You try to enjoy your meal while five kids are trying to do all of these things. You can't! The moral of the story is - ASK ME if you want the kids' food to come out before mine please... and I will politely decline. AND I'll be super grateful that you asked.

The third thing that drives me bonkers is: When we order chocolate milk for the kids - stir the damn drink. If you were serving chocolate milk to an individual child you would take the time to stir that baby up, making sure that the chocolate has dissolved completely and that the milk is a dark shade of brown before serving - wouldn't you? When you serve five kids - don't be lazy. I know you have to stir five drinks. I know it is going to take some time to do this. I've done this before. I sympathize with your task. In fact - I came here so that I don't have to do it tonight. When I get five cups that look like dish water because you have neglected to stir them up properly and my kid gets a big gulp of syrup, I get pissed off. Now I have to stir the drink. What am I paying $2.00 per glass for?

All in all - we enjoy our nights out at restaurants. At this point, our kids are big enough that we don't have to much extra work to do at the restaurant (diapers, potty, etc.). But please... don't make it difficult for us. Get the order right, bring all of the food at once, and stir the drinks. If you do that... we'll come back over and over again... and leave you a big tip. I understand that we are taking up your 8-top and ordering (sometimes) 2 adult meals and 3 kids meals (b/c the kids still don't finish a whole meal from a restaurant). That is so much less of a check than 8 adult meals. I get it... I'll hook you up if you hook me up. I promise.

A Fond Farewell to the School Year

2009-06-01T12:52:00.003-04:00

We're approaching the home stretch here. The kids are done with nursery school after this morning and Sammy just has a few more days left and it's off to 2nd grade!

I was helping Sammy with his homework the other night and was enjoying an ice cold Heineken as I was helping him glue his Zack & Cody pictures onto his paper bag vest. The task was to create a vest based on the book that he just read, "Zack & Cody: The Suite Life". (It's a show on Disney but they also have several books... anyway) Geana did the lion's share the night before with him and I was simply helping with the finishing touches. You know - gluing some pictures on and putting the last minute stickers all over... the usual. It was looking good!

Let me take a minute to say - I rarely drink beer and help my children with their homework. Honest. This just happens to be one of those times where... oh... forget it... it's just not gonna come out right no matter what I say. I had about half of my beer with dinner and the bottle remained on the table after the meal so that I could finish it after cleaning up the kitchen. Sammy was also doing homework at this table.

You can probably see where this is going... in Sammy's attempt to reach for the glue, the beer bottle spilled all over his homework (narrowly missing the vest - THANK GOD - but getting all over his math assignment, school folder, and school bag). I quickly tried to clean it up but it was too late. The beer had soaked into the math paper and into the folder. I hung them both up to dry in the kitchen but nothing gets out the smell of beer. Nothing. I even tried to spray some fabreeze on them, but that just made it smell like someone spilled beer on this homework and then tried to cover it up by spraying fabreeze on it. I tried to think of something else to do but at that point the homework would become illegible if any other liquid touched the page. UGH. What's a guy to do?

Anyway - looks like my kid (in a cast) is going to have to take his homework into school and explain to his teacher that his father spilled beer all over his homework and that is why it smells the way that it does. Then the jackass tried spraying it with fabreeze. Sometimes I think it's amazing that they even let me have children.

The Jersey Rule

2009-05-28T11:10:00.002-04:00

When purchasing professional sports jerseys in today's era of come and go players, you have to set ground rules. I follow these simple rules:

1. You can never go wrong with an iconic player from a previous era. Jack Lambert, Mario Lemieux, and Roberto Clemente come to mind. You'll always look cool wearing the shirts that these players adorned in their time.

2. Always buy jerseys of impact players and (if possible) future hall of famers on your current team. My closet consists of two Roethlisberger Jerseys (home and away), a Polamalu Jersey, an Ian Snell Jersey (more on this later) and a Crosby Jersey. Four of my five jerseys of current players fit into this category. What is nice is that when Ben leaves the Steelers to go and play for the Jets - his jersey will migrate from category 2 into category 1.

3. If, like me, you do find yourself with an Ian Snell jersey, don't fret. Keep that baby hung up in your closet, take good care of it, and simply wait. You will be the coolest guy in the bar in 2030. Think about it... when I go to Steelers bars here in Philly - I always look in envy at the guy wearing a Bubby Brister shirt. Hats off to ya, my friend!

I do feel it necessary to mention that, having been in Philadelphia for a length of time, I catch myself snickering everytime I see a Terrell Owens jersey or a Jim Thome jersey. Being from Pittsburgh, rarely (if ever), will I have to worry about a big name coming into town and then leaving because either a) he's an asshole (T.O.) or b) the team improperly managed it's free agent signings (signing Thome with Howard in the wings). This being said - if you are THAT GUY with one of THOSE JERSEYS - just trash it. It's hard, I know, but come to terms with the fact that the teams mistake is now your responsibility. Pony up the dough and go out and buy a new one.

Lastly - when purchasing jerseys for your children - don't buy the same player for each kid. Invest in a different player for each child and you will be loved and respected by all of your neighbors... unless of course you live in Philly and are Steeler fans.

Curveballs

2009-05-27T15:35:00.002-04:00

I could never hit a curveball. Now I see that the ball was actually thrown STRAIGHT and it was simply a result of my eye shifting from foveal to peripheral viewing. Someone tell Adam LaRoche.

A Good Weekend

2009-05-25T15:00:00.007-04:00

Joe's Wedding

The first event of the weekend was my friend Joe's wedding. Geana and I headed up to Short Hills, NJ on Friday afternoon and made it in time for the 6pm wedding - having to stop on the way for shoes, socks, and jewelry - then check into the hotel, shower, and get ready to go. It was close but we made it - and we had a drink at the bar before the wedding. Perhaps the most beautiful part of the wedding were the miniature hamburger appetizers. Mmmmm.... they were gooood! I wish Joe and Clare nothing but the best... despite the fact that BOTH refuse to sign up for facebook. They are going to Italy for their honeymoon - I suggested that they check out this bar.

Melissa Arrives

Melissa and Justin, my sister and brother in law, headed in from da 'burgh for the weekend (and Abby - their dog). Among the highlights of their trip were celebrating my birthday and Melissa getting pooped on by a bird - TWICE! Two memorable events that will live forever in family lure. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the bird poop. I was slow on the draw and couldn't find my camera. I apologize to all of you that I missed this precious moment. A fun time was had by all. We grilled, we played, and we listened to baseball on the deck. The kids especially enjoyed having the three of them in our house for 2 whole days. I can't wait until we do it again!

Preventing Poop and Playing in the Yard

We did several things today. First - we went to Home Depot and got some of those fake owls to prevent ME from getting pooped on in the future. Second - we picked up Sammy's friend Kelly and came back to the house and continued to play in the kiddie pools and on the water slide that are still out from yesterday.

The kids can't get enough of the waterslide these days. They are actually getting a little adventurous and are starting to jump off of the top. Robby started this phenomenon. Now - I'm off to keep listening to Chris Carpenter attempt a perfect game. He's through 6 in Milwaukee... I hope he gets it.

On a Scale of 1 to 10... You're Gross!

2009-05-18T09:25:00.004-04:00

My morning and evening commutes include both the trolley and the subway. I leave the house, walk to the trolley, transfer to the subway and then walk to work. I could take the train but then I'd have to get into a car and drive to the train station and I'd be bound to the schedule of SEPTA. Who wants to do that? The trolley is a super convenient walk from my house, there are a million trips, and I usually get a seat - so that's how I choose to commute into work... not to mention the entertainment value provided on both the trolley and subway...

Believe it or not - sometimes I can get a little grossed out by the goings on inside the subway cars and also on the trolley. Therefore, I have created a "Grossness Scale" to determine how any in particular ride stacks up to another trip. (All things have happened to me in my 4+ years of riding the trolley/subway unless noted.)

1000 Points - If you poop, pee, or puke on any given ride the trip is automatically assigned 1000 gross points. In my estimation nothing can top excessive excretion of bodily fluids on public transportation when discussing the relative terms of grossness. This has never happened to me on the subway or trolley (yet), but there have been people who clearly peed on themselves prior to getting on the subway. Those people were assigned 40 odd smell points.

90 Points - Dead people or dead animals. If someone pulls a "Weekend at Bernie's" and brings a dead guy on the trip you will get 90 points. This also has not happened to me (that I know of), however someone did bring a dead dog on the trolley, once, to take him to the pet store. I'm not sure if they were returning it or asking the store to dispose of it. I didn't bother to ask. It stunk.

80 Points - Bare feet. Don't ride the subway without shoes on. Just. Don't. Do. It.

75 Points (in addition to the 80 gross points for bare feet) - Also don't trim your toenails on the subway. I've seen this. It wasn't pleasant. 50 additional points if you put the clipped toenails in your mouth.

70 Points - Flossing. Your daily commute is not the time to clean the funk out from between your teeth. Please do this at home.

60 Points - Smoking. Dude - don't get so hammered that you don't realize that you are on the trolley and light up a cigarette. This happened to me while waiting for the trolley to leave 69th street. The funny thing was that everyone on the packed trolley was afraid to say anything because if this dude was crazy enough to light a cigarette on the trolley there is no telling what he'll do to me if I ask him to put it out.

50 Points - Picking your nose. This happens a surprisingly high percentage of times I am on the trolley or subway. YO - LADY... WE CAN SEE YOU! Don't try to look in your purse and act like you are hunting for something. Just stop picking your nose OR bring a Kleenex with you. 50 additional points added when (not if) the person eats their boogs.

40 Points - Odd Smells. Unidentifiable smells coming from somewhere in the car get you 40 points. This could be body odor, bad breath, dank feet, Chinese food, or anything creating a pungent smell in the confined seating area.

30 Points - Eating & Drinking. I'm not so much grossed out about the fact that you are eating as much as I am grossed out that the guy that sat in your seat before you smelled like urine and flossed his teeth. Eat at home.

20 Points - Sleeveless shirts. Just have some semblance of sleeves if I'm going to sit next to you, please.

10 Points - Seeing Eye Dogs. I understand they are necessary - but they still gross me out and make the list.

5 Points - Soliciting of perfume, incense, candy, girl scout cookies, etc. Asking for change, crazy people muttering about Aunt Lucy, talking to me in general... all of these things get you 5 points. The low point total is because if you do it well you can actually be pretty entertaining.

The Negative Point Scenario - I do need to point out that the grossness point total can be DECREASED by the presence of a hot chick on board or by Steeler fans.

Sunny Day... Sweepin' The Clouds Away...

2009-05-16T21:52:00.014-04:00

I'm home. I'm alive.

We went to Sesame Place today. It was A BLAST!!! The kids had so much fun and so did Geana and I. It was a long day... but a fun one. We had to get up just like it was a school day and get out of the house by 8:00AM or so. The kids were dressed in their bathing suits and were ready to leave earlier than normal. (Go figure - when you are heading to an amusement park the kids are more motivated to get out the door... school - not so much... who knew?)

When we first got there I had total Deja Vu from my days of working as a Ferengi at Kings Dominion. (That's another story... don't ask.) It was so cool. We parked in this top secret parking lot and went in the back entrance behind these big fences. (I think all amusement parks look the same behind these fences. Golf carts tooling around, tan buildings that look like they are trying to blend in with the concrete, people with walkie talkies - talking about important park business. It took me right back to my Ferengi days...) Anyway - we got to walk into the park before it opened to see where we were going to go during our opening parade today. We headed through the park, past a replica of Sesame Street and down to The Count's Splash Castle - a new attraction - the reason we were there. As soon as we got down there we got to see Ernie, Burt, Telli, Zoe, Elmo, The Count, and more... the kids just about had an aneurysm. They were FREAKING OUT... in a good way - not like the two girls ahead of us who were freaking out in a "these dudes in these freaky, larger than life costumes scare the crap out of me" kind of way. I have to say - I sympathize with them a little. I mean - I used to work with those freaky guys. I used to BE one of those freaky guys. I'd be scared too.

We got our instructions and headed back to the staging area behind the fences. The parade went wonderfully and our kids actually got chosen to walk with The Count in the parade and then stand next to him during the cutting of the ribbon ceremony. (I know that this is why twin parents hate quad parents... and I can't really blame them... but our kids were adorable and I was so psyched that they got picked. Plus - I have to get some kind of reward for the mounds and mounds of laundry I do.)

It was a little chilly in the morning so the kids weren't too excited about playing in the water. The coolest thing about the new attraction is that there is a HUGE bucket of water above the castle that dumps on you every 4 or 5 minutes. The bucket is HUGE. We got soaked.

After we left our obligation at the Count's Castle we did our own thing. We saw a couple of shows and went on some rides. Geana went on the roller coaster with Sammy and just about puked. She still hasn't recuperated. For someone who refuses to let me drive because she gets sick in the passenger seat... this wasn't the wisest of moves. I think it ruined the day for her. She had to sit on the bench and recover for about an hour while I took the kids on some other stuff (which almost made me sick - video at the end of the post).

Perhaps the most hilarious part of the day was after one of the shows we watched the woman in front of us turned around and we had the following conversation:

Woman: Do you guys get recognized often?

Kurt: (Totally shocked and not sure what to say) Uhh... yeah... sometimes.

Woman: I KNEW they were going to have some famous people here for this multiples day. I've seen your shows on tv!

Kurt: (stifling outrageous laughter) Cool - Anna has to poop. I gotta run!

So all in all - a super successful day. We had fun, we were considered famous, and we didn't break any bones or skulls. As promised - here is a video from MY favorite part of the day. The Big Bird Balloon ride that took us up in the air and then spins you around until you lose your lunch.

Sesame Place... WE'RE OFF!!

2009-05-16T07:03:00.001-04:00

Getting ready to head out to Sesame Place... Pictures and stories to follow this evening!

The Things Kids Say

2009-05-13T22:05:00.004-04:00

I'm exhausted tonight so here is a brief post about some hilarious things my kids have said recently.

1) Tonight we were at the Llanerch Diner and we were sitting there for about 5 minutes before the waiter decided that he would wait on our crazy family (we are intimidating). Well - the only reason he came over was because Robby screamed at the top of his lungs - "HEY MISTER - WHAT'S A KID GOTTA DO TO GET A DRINK IN THIS PLACE!?!?" Embarrassing? Yes. Justified? Absolutely.

2) As I was getting Ella dressed for bed tonight I had to yell at her. (Yes - we do yell at our kids in the Morris household... quite a bit actually.) Anyway - I yelled at her - saying something like, "Ella - Get over here!" Her teary eyed crying response was, "Daaaddyyy..... You're freaking me oooouut!!"

3) Finally - I'll pull one from the archives. It was Thanksgiving in my cousin's new house in Pittsburgh. All of the family was sitting in the living room around the piano - aunts, uncles, my parents, my grandfather, about 7 cousins and their spouses... we were drinking wine, singing songs, and having fun conversation. (Keep in mind that I see these people about once or twice a year at this point so when we get together it is a real good time and we always have fun.) When all of a sudden Robby comes running into the middle of the room pointing at his foot, "Daddy - I stepped in dog shit! I did - I stepped in dog shit! Wanna see? Wanna see!?!?"

Our Morning Routine

2009-05-12T13:41:00.005-04:00

6:00 - Alarm goes off. I push snooze. (Let me take a minute here to say that I'm the one in charge of the alarm clock. I'm not sure how and when this happened throughout the course of our marriage but at some point it became my responsibility to make sure that the whole family is up on time. I didn't sign up for this job... nor do I claim to be very good at it.)

6:30 - Anywhere from 4 to 10 scampering feet find their way into our bed. By this point in our lives, the kids have realized that the first ones into our bed get the prime spots, i.e. cuddled up next to Mommy or Daddy. Surprisingly - they have learned that if they miss out on that spot, they fit remarkably well curled up next to our feet. We feed them biscuits when they do this.

7:00 - I finally realize that we need to get out of bed because the kids have to be at school in less than an hour and I have to leave for work in just about the same time frame.

7:01 - I yell, "FIRE!!" And the kids immediately jump out of bed and run down the steps in fear for their lives. (I don't do this everyday... just on special occasions when I really feel like messing up my kids' psyches.)

7:10 - We finally get all of the kids herded downstairs and sitting at their spots at the kitchen table. Often times there is MEGA fighting from the kids to actually sit at the table. (We make them do this every single school day - it's a wonder to me why they continue to fight us on this simple task). We make them sit at the table so that they are all in one place and we don't have to search for anyone or have a doubt in our mind that everybody has made it downstairs. We turn on the Disney Channel. Nine mornings out of ten - we give them Pop tarts. Except Ella - she doesn't like Pop tarts and demands a granola bar. On the tenth morning - we give them Toaster Strudels. They love Toaster Strudel Day.

7:15 - As the kids are eating and watching Handy Manny, I walk around one by one and get them dressed. It is a recent revelation that the girls only want to wear dresses. I'm not sure when this happened - but as long as they don't want to start dating, I'm fine with this.

7:25 - Once I'm done dressing them, I take out the hair brushing buckets (we have two buckets that contain hair gel, water sprayers, hair ties, straightener, curly stuff, mouse, brushes, bows, barrets, spiker, combs, etc.). Personally - I use three items. 1) Water Sprayer. 2) Gel. 3) Brush. I only brush the boys hair. I've recused myself from attempting to brush the girl's hair. For whatever reason, I will never succeed at making my girls hair look pretty. When I try to style it - it looks like Michael Jackson's hair on the cover of "Bad".

GEANA - BTW - While I've been doing all of this crap, Geana has been packing lunches, writing notes to teachers, backing school bags, etc. Frankly - we divide and conquer. If I was ever asked to do what she does in the morning I'd be lost. At some point Geana brushes the girl's hair but I couldn't tell you how or when.

7:35 - Time to brush teeth. This is my least favorite part of the morning. Because the kids just ate, they have all kinds of funk in their teeth. I've thought about changing up the routine to have them brush teeth first - but why mess with a process that is working? Right? If I fight with them to just sit at the table when they come down, I can't even imagine the comments from them if I were to ask them to brush their teeth first. We do this as an assembly line. Quadruplet 1 comes in - we brush: Ahhh... Eeeee.... tongue... rinse... spit. Quadruplet 2 comes in - repeat. Quadruplet 3... Quadruplet 4... Sammy... and so on... (I might also point out that I'm a horrible person... I leave the water running. I know - Mother Earth is crying. I know - I'm an inconsiderate bastard. I know all of these things and I don't care. If I were to turn the water on and off each time I had a kid come in to wet their tooth brush, rinse their toothbrush, and then again to fill their rinse cup and then again to wipe their mouth I would have to move the the facet 40 times. That would make me cry... sorry Mother Earth.)

7:45 - WE FORGOT SHOES! (This happens everyday). "Everyone put your shoes on!" I run around and try to put the shoes on each kid now that they've vacated the table. This is not an easy task but somehow we manage to find enough shoes for five kids every morning. They may not match the outfit - but they match each other. That's all that counts.

7:55 - I push them all out the door after I hug and kiss each one. Geana loads them into the van and off they go.

8:00 - I get ready for work.

8:10 - I leave for work.

Like I said - I shouldn't be in charge of when we wake up because clearly I should get ready before I get the kids ready, right? Wrong. You try brushing teeth, feeding kids, brushing hair, dressing kids, hugging kids - all without getting anything on your suit or shirt. It isn't an easy task. Hence - they get ready before I do. (We still could get up earlier.)

Hockey... My Secret Love.

2009-05-11T21:32:00.003-04:00

If you didn't already know - I'm a huge baseball fan. It's in the name of my blog. At age 12 I had Pittsburgh Pirates wallpaper and newspaper clippings hanging on my bedroom walls. I don't think there was a square inch of my room that wasn't colored black & gold. I've gone to Spring Training four times, now, to watch meaningless games played, many times, by meaningless players. I've been to the World Series in NY when the Yankees beat the Mets. I was at the last game at Veteran's Stadium and the first game at PNC Park. I'm also a descendant of Western PA - so I'm a football... no a Steelers fan, too. These two sports hold a very special place in my heart and in my life. They are more than a game to me... they are a bond with family and friends... they are a link to my past and a window into the future.

All of this being said - I don't think there is a more exciting sport than playoff hockey. Watching these guys, fatigued as hell, find the will to push on and play the game is utterly incredible. At times I catch myself thinking, "Holy crap! I can't even ice skate and these guys have done it for 60 minutes at full speed." Not to mention they have an actual purpose (not just skating around and around and around in circles.) Does it help that the Pens are an incredible team? Yes. Have I paid as much attention to the Pens in the past 15 years as I have to the Steelers and Pirates? No. But do I love watching this team in the playoffs? Absolutely. Sammy is still up and we are wearing our Crosby jerseys trying to will a win in OT against the Caps.

Sports are more than sports for our family. We're not crazy. We're not fanatics. It is just a bond and a kinship that is not imagined, but very real and very tangible.

Ovechkin scares the crap out of me.

Adults vs. Kids

2009-05-09T21:41:00.005-04:00

The girls had their annual (I guess it's annual - this is our first season) girls vs. Parents softball game. I was super excited for the game... but came home utterly amazed at people's... umm.... lack of awareness (nah), blatunt disregard for safety (nah), f-ing stupidity... that's it.

Someone should tell these 30 to 40 year-old men that they are playing FOUR YEAR OLD GIRLS! Seriously - I wish I had my video camera with me because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Some of these dudes were crushing the ball to the fence. Literally - taking a stance and swinging as hard as they could. One guy actually hit the fence on a fly. Never mind that there were about 10 four year-olds about 15 feet in front of him - none of which were actually paying attention enough to follow what was going on or be alert if a screaming liner happened to be hit their way. Way to go dude... you can hit a softball, thrown from a pitching machine, to the fence on a tball field. Hey - maybe you should unzip and whip it out, too. This'll really show all of the other parents how manly you are. One thing is for sure - it would be equally inappropriate.

Only one kid actually took a line drive off of her head today... Anna. She's fine - but of course it happened to my kid. That dude's kid was probably picking her nose, ducking behind the pitching machine for safety. Geana asked Anna if she was okay and she was upset that she didn't catch the ball but she stayed in the game. In related news, Anna came in second of about 30 girls in a cut-throat game of "Simon Says." She only lost to a 6 year-old but was visibly upset when she was eliminated. She is, hands down, the most competitive of my kids. One time we were playing "The Quiet Game" and about 20 minutes after I thought we had completed the game she tapped on my shoulder asking the non-verbal question, "Yo Dad - can I talk yet?"

Speaking of injuries - Sammy is on the 15 day DL. He helped coach firstbase today and followed the coach around because of his cast. He actually thought it was a lot of fun.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!

Weekend Plans

2009-05-08T15:25:00.002-04:00

Geana is home this weekend - so no broken arms and no asthma attacks are in the plans. What we do have planned for the weekend is:

TBall and Softball on Saturday.
...

That's it.. really? Are you kidding me? Two things??? Woo hoo!

I just had to call Geana to verify that this is true and it turns out that it is. ALRIIIIGHT!!! Plans for the weekend now include:

Pens Game
Pirates Games Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in NY... hmmm... maybe we can go to one...
Endless ridiculousness with the kids.

Hope you have a fun weekend!

What Happens When Daddy's In Charge

2009-05-07T18:31:00.002-04:00

An Unprompted Promotion

2009-05-07T16:01:00.003-04:00

Why is it that anytime I see someone that I went to college with or see anyone who graduated from UARTS, I feel it necessary to babble on about why I'm not pursuing acting and theatre as a career anymore? I love my job... I love the path I've taken in my life... I couldn't be happier - I'm serious. But yet I still get this impulse and feeling when speaking to other UARTS grads or artists. URGH.

This happened to me yesterday, immediately following Sammy's piano lesson and the girl's dancing school class. All three take classes at Napoli School of Music at 6:30 on Wednesday nights. (First off - let me say that I LOVE the school. Having gone through a professional training program and having lived in that world - they employ the structure, discipline, and energy that is necessary to foster creativity. A lot of times, particularly in kids' classes, structure and discipline are thrown out the window and what you end up with is a bunch of unfocussed kids with no real direction and no real understanding of what it is they are expected to do... but anyway...) Both Sammy's piano instructor and the girls' dance instructor were chatting in the office right after class while I was packing up Sammy's books and the girl's shoes. Turns out both instructors went to UARTS! (They are a bit younger than me, though).

I immediately piped in and said, "Oh - I went to UARTS, too!" We all thought it was pretty cool and we chatted for a couple of seconds about it before I carted the kids off into the car. It was wierd, though. I refrained from doing so, but I immediately felt like I had to tell them why I'm not in the theatre world anymore and how I really love my job and how I got here, blah blah blah... etc. I didn't do it - but I had the impulse. I wonder when that will go away? Will it ever? I've had conversations with friends from UARTS who experience the same thing. Why is that? Is it because the competition is so great in the entertainment business that we feel we have to justify why we "lost"? Is it because we all assumed we would be professional artists when we were in school and the reality is that only about 10 - 25% of the people will actually make a living doing what they went to school for?

The truth is - I don't know the answer but I do know that I'm incredibly proud of myself for refraining from justifying my current existence like a babbling idiot. At the end of the day - I'm psyched that my kids are going to a school where they are being taught by people who know what they are doing and know what they are talking talking about, who have been professionally trained, and who implement structure and disipline into their teaching of a creative craft. I've finally found my home for art classes for the kids. Woo Hoo!!!!

Check out their link earlier in the post, particularly if you are in the Philadelphia area.

Sesame Place

2009-05-06T15:55:00.005-04:00

I'm a big supporter of capitalizing on the fact that I have a million kids. Hey - why not? As long as I don't put them in stupid situations or set them up to be ill-equipped adults, I'm fine.

Our latest endeavor was to send Sesame Place some photos of our family in the hopes of being chosen to open their new attraction, The Count's Splash Castle. They wanted 6 families with multiples to help open the attraction. My guess is so that The Count can be there and do something wacky with the kids... like counting them.

So - on May 16 we will be heading over to Sesame Place for some good old quadruplet fun where we'll dress them up all the same, let them play in the new attraction, and then spend the day at the park being "treated as VIP's" whatever that means. I'm envisioning a day of being carted around in a chariot that is being pulled by Snufolupogus. My guess is, as usual, I have set my hopes too high. We'll see.

This was the picture that we sent:

Can you see why we won? I have such adorable kids!

Links

2009-05-04T21:52:00.002-04:00

Some fun things I found while using Stumble Upon (and listening to the Pirates blow the game in the 9th inning).

This couldn't be said better. DOING it is another story.

For the ladies - tips for a teenage daughter.

For the dudes - dealing with a bully at school.

Maybe I'm still feeling a bit guilty about Ella and Sammy from over the weekend. In my mind I know that there was nothing that could have been done differently... really. Until tomorrow...

2 Trips to the ER Later

2009-05-04T09:56:00.005-04:00

So I'm not sure if Geana will ever leave me alone with the kids again. Two of our kids had the privilege of taking a trip to the ER yesterday, largely because I was in charge over the weekend. Let me explain...

On Friday night, about a nanosecond after Geana left, Anna rolled over on top of Sammy and hurt his thumb. It was clearly hurt but he could move it. We put some ice on it to keep the swelling down and moved on our way. There were minor complaints throughout the weekend concerning things like putting socks and shoes on but nothing major concerning the thumb. He even played tball on Saturday with no problem. I believe the words, "just rub some dirt on it" never actually came out of my mouth - but they should have.

When Geana got home yesterday he said that practicing piano hurt him and he showed her his swollen thumb. We promptly took him to the local pediatric orthopedist who happens to live just across the street. Her diagnosis - probably broken... take him to the ER.

When all was said and done... X-Rays - broken thumb - sent home in a splint - getting cast today.

On Sunday night, about a nanosecond after Geana came home, Ella was having trouble catching her breath and wouldn't stop coughing. She had complained about her neck hurting throughout the weekend. This is usually her way of complaining about her acid reflux. Honestly - I know that I missed some of her medications this weekend in all of the commotion of watching five kids. She's on Flovent, Albuterol, Zyrtek, and Prevacid several times a day. When she misses her meds, she goes downhill very quickly. I feel horrible.

Anyway - her diagnosis was NO PNEMONIA! Yay! She does, however, have an ear infection and was having a pretty sever asthma attack. At 4am Ella and I crawled into bed and were promptly awoken by Robby and James wanting to get up and get ready for school at 5am.

When casting your ballots, please consider me for "Father of The Year."

Sac Bunts and Grand Slams

2009-05-03T22:05:00.006-04:00

We went to the Riversharks game yesterday. The kids lasted until about the sixth inning when we finally had to get up and head over to the funzone. (We didn't actually go into the funzone because the moon bounce was broken and all other activities were a bit old for our crew). Dewon Brazelton pitched and I got to see Junior Spivey play SS. It felt just like 2002.

At one point - Sammy asked, "Why is that guy holding his bat out sideways like that?" This was a monumental moment for me because it is the first time Sammy asked me a legitimate question about the goings on in a professional game. HE'S PAYING ATTENTION AND FOLLOWING THE GAME! YES!! Season tickets... here we come! I told him that he is trying to just push the ball back towards the pitcher and it's called a bunt. Brilliantly, he replied, "but he'll get thrown out. Why would he do that?" Now it was my pleasure to explain how the sacrifice bunt works. See there were guys on 2nd and 1st base and he was trying to bunt them up a base. I'm not sure if he understood at first but then on the next pitch the batter laid down an awesome bunt up the 3rd base line. The throw came from the pitcher to 1st and the runner actually beat it out for a bunt single. After he saw the play, I'm pretty sure he got it.

Today we were watching the Cubs play the Marlins on WGN (the conversation about baseball quietly being on WGN all the time will come next year, presumably) and the bases were loaded for Derrek Lee. Sam looked at me and said, "If he hits a homerun, Dad, he'll get a grand slam." Again - I'm loving this! Then Lee did it. He went yard and hit the Grand Slam! High fives and chest bumps followed in our living room.

Sammy also is aware that a lefty who is facing a fireballer like Dewon Brazelton could line a screaming foul ball down the third base side, into the stands. Having the memory of his head injury fresh enough in his mind, he didn't take any chances when a lefty came to the plate and took the proper precautions.

Mmmm... Hummus

2009-05-02T00:30:00.003-04:00

I've often thought about writing a book geared toward kid friendly, affordable things for families to do with their kids. That's a shitty title. Hence the lack of a book.

Anyway - Perkins does not make the cut at all. While the food is adequate (not as good as the pictures suggest) the price is ridiculous. I know we're talking about... Perkin's... but hear me out. Geana had the van tonight when I got home from work. Because I didn't want to feed my kids limes or Corona (the two existing perishable items in my refrigerator right now), I decided to walk, yes walk, all five kids to the local eatery... (To the woman who felt it necessary to interrupt our calculated march from the hostess stand to our table in order to hand me her Girl Scout's of America business card - F.U.)

Let me take a minute here to post the Girl Scout Law. Let's see how she stacks up:

I will do my best to be
Honest and fair,
Friendly and helpful (NOPE),
Considerate and caring (NOPE),
Courageous and strong, and
Responsible for what I say and do (NOPE),
And to
respect myself and others (NOPE),
respect authority (NOPE),
use resources wisely (NOPE),
make the world a better place (NOPE), and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Clearly this woman failed in almost every aspect of being a Girl Scout. We won't be calling her.

I digress... Perkins sucks. Our meal consisted of 5 children's meals, an adult serving of eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and toast, one adult diet coke, and 5 kids waters. (I'm not cheap - they wanted water - leave me alone.) Total bill = $50. Ridiculous.

If I sound perterbed it's because it's almost 1am and I'm eating hummus and toast (with lime) because the eggs and bacon didn't do it for me.

More tomorrow when I attempt to take the kids to their respective softball and tball games, then head to Camden, NJ for a Riversharks game.... alone. Geana is in Ocean City, NJ.

G'Night all!

Carnival!

2009-04-30T21:38:00.006-04:00

We took our dirtball children to the carnival tonight. Many lessons were learned.

1. I no longer have an affinity for carnival rides. Like - ZERO. We went on the ferris wheel and I just about puked... BTW - the kids thought this was a riot. Then we cruised over to the bears. (A ride where you sit inside a large metal bear and spin around until you either a) die or b) kill your kid.) I wasn't planning on engaging in this joyous ride but the worker looks up from his phone and says to me, "Dude - which one of you is going to go on with them?" Geana doesn't even ride shotgun in the car without vomiting, thus I was volunteered. This ride sucked more than the ferris wheel.

2. All workers at carnivals are now required to be texting someone from their phone while operating the rides. Literally - every single ride we went on, the operator was texting. We discovered that the optimal time for texting is while the current riders are exiting the ride and before the next wave takes their spots on the ride. This gives the carny ample time to type 50 to 100 characters. One clever operator actually said, "Okay parents - feel free to come in and help get your kids." While we handled the kids, the woman proceeded to sit down, whip out her phone, and text her toothless brother to tell him about the "Quintruplets" that were on her ride, I'm sure.

3. Anna likes funnel cake.

T-Ball & Softball

2009-04-30T10:43:00.003-04:00

I've said this before - but I'm back for real this time. I just couldn't get into a groove with consistent writing or recording since our fire and Sammy's accident. This time - I'm committed. It's summertime, we have lots going on that I can write about, and I have the time to do it. No more excuses... (I may even record some podcasts).

The boys and girls have started little league and I don't know who is having more fun - the kids or me. There is something about watching the awe in the kids eyes and the joy that it brings them even if they are just playing in the dirt or wearing their glove on their head. I'm not helping coach their teams as I did with Sammy but I'm still teaching them everything I know (which isn't much). For example - yesterday I taught James how to swagger up to the plate and stare down the pitcher before stepping into the batter's box. He's four and he's hitting off of a tee, but he did an incredible job. After all, baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical - right?

Ella isn't too fond of actually playing softball, but getting dressed up makes it worth the fun. Geana made them hair ties that match their jerseys and have little softballs on the ribbons. Ella loves that part of the game and that's what matters.

By the way - the boys are all on the same t-ball team and the girls are on the same softball team this year. Next year Sammy's going to be on a team, Robby and James on a different one, and Anna and Ella on yet another. I sat down to put the game schedule into my calendar last night for both the girls and the boys and it took me FOREVER. I can feel the change coming (if it hasn't happened already). The difficulty of having five kids is subtly shifting from "It is tough to keep track of all of them and keep them all safe" to "It is tough to coordinate all of their activities and make sure nothing overlaps and that we make it there on time." I see this only getting harder until we make the next transition into "I can't believe my kids are actually going out on dates."

Well - so long! I'm going to be writing more consistently now (I'm telling myself this as much as you guys). Check back for more posts in the next day or so. I'm hoping to actually record a podcast from the kids' t-ball game this Saturday, LIVE FROM DERMOND FIELD! (We'll see).

Hope Springs Eternal

2009-03-03T16:41:00.002-05:00

It's spring... well... almost. It's March - how about that? Yesterday we got about 5 inches of snow and today it is about 20 degrees outside... but hey it's March. At lunch today I was able to watch a few innings of the Mets playing against the Cardinals. It was awesome.

Anyway - I have several pieces of information to share with folks...

1. Our latest Discovery Health show is going to premiere on March 10 at 9pm. Our first show, Double Identical Twins, will air at 8pm.

2. I'm going to Spring training in a week and 2 days. I'm hoping to post pics and musings from down there.

Merry Christmas to All!

2008-12-29T22:48:00.002-05:00

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

2008-12-15T12:26:00.000-05:00

We hung our decorations this weekend and the house looks like a cross between an elf's lair and a Wawa. We got those new LED icicle lights. They produce a really white light which makes it look like florescent bulbs are creating the light. Hey - if you need cigarettes, coffee, and a hoagie - just stop on by.

Amidst the joys of decorating, all of our kids got sick. Like - really sick. Like - liquid, projectile poop, and throw-up sick. At one point James threw up in the toilet and Sammy started crying because he had to throw up, too. I got him a bucket, he puked, and then Ella called from upstairs telling me that she had soupy poop on the potty and was in need of wiping. Geana wasn't home.

I have successfully avoided getting sick because I was in Chicago last week and avoided the bug... hopefully!

We're Almost Famous!

2008-12-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

So Discovery Health is filming another special on us. Yesterday was the first day that they were actually at our house and were all up in our junk. The kids are hilarious. They are so well behaved when the cameras are on and then... BAM! The cameras turn off and Robby is on top of the table or James is throwing himself all over the floor because he couldn't find the toy he wanted. Gotta love 'em. More soon...

Facebook Addict

2008-12-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

Yes - I'm totally addicted to Facebook. It is a recent development but - yes - I have succumb to the hype... and it is like crack to me. I'm ashamed.

I can now tell you what Sally in Idaho is doing just by looking up her status online. It doesn't matter that I didn't care what Sally was doing when I was in high school and, frankly, didn't really even have any meaningful dialogue with Sally when I was there. Not to be malicious, I'm just meerly stating what is fact. Well - now she's commenting on pictures of my kids and telling me about her plumbing problems like we have been best friends for years. She can even talk to me, real time, via facebook IM and tell me that her plumber is knocking on the door. I don't care about any of this, mind you, but I feel like it is good information to be gathering. Hey - you never know when you may be in Idaho and in need of a decent plumber.

Travel Stories

2008-12-01T12:03:00.002-05:00

Even though we have four year old quadruplets and a six year old son - we CAN STILL GO OUT TO EAT. We got so many looks this weekend in Pittsburgh from amazed individuals that we were ACTUALLY out in public with our kids... and get this... they actually behave while we are at the restaurants. Whoa! If you are ever out about town and see a family with high order multiples take this note - you can't say anything to them that they have not heard before. Honestly. You are not clever. You are not funny. You are not original. But I digress...

Here are several stories of annoying people that we encountered in our escapades to The Steel City.

Dumbest. Waitress. Ever.
Picture our family sitting at a booth. Geana, Kurt, and five kids. All of the ketchup, sugar, salt, pepper, utensils, jelly, etc. are strategically situated so that the kids don't bother them prior to our food arriving. It was a six seater booth so we were pretty crammed in there - which is fine. We do it all the time. We only really get annoyed when the waitress neglects to take our dirty plates away and the dishes overwhelm our space.

We place our order:
Kurt - Breakfast Smile: Eggs, toast hashbrowns
Geana - Same
Kids: Some semblance of pancakes, french toast, and muffins. The majority of the kids had pancakes.

Well our dipshit waitress decides that it would be a good idea to BRING THE SYRUP EARLY! That's right - bring the stickiest, sugarfilled substance to our table 10 minutes BEFORE we are planning on using it. Are you kidding me? I know... I couldn't believe it either. I took a picture.

Well - because our kids are extremely well behaved they didn't touch it after we told them not to. I am still amazed at this lady.

War for Seats:
Saturday evening was spent going out with my parents, sister, brother in-law, Geana, and the kids to Quaker Steak & Lube (quite possibly the best wings/ribs place on earth). My sister and Justin (BIL) went ahead first while we were at Pap's (about a 3 minute drive away). She told them "Morris party of 11" and they gave us a 45 minute wait. Rather than have the kids at the restaurant lobby, we stayed at Pap's for another 25 to 30 minutes... when Melissa called us. The call went something like this:

Melissa - Guess what? Another party of 11 just came in and they told us that they are giving our table to them unless our entire party gets here before their entire party.

Kurt - WHAT!?

M - Yup - they said that's their policy.

K - That's a bullshit policy.

M - They don't seem to be budging on it, though. You guys should haul ass and get here ASAP.

K - Well - my policy is to keep my kids confined as long as possible in order to save their vestibule from the wrath of four year old quadruplets - but that's fine.... it's on now. We're on our way.

We loaded the kids up as fast as we could - sans coats, gloves, hats, etc... there just wasn't time. So we jumped into the van and hi-tailed it over to The Quaker Steak.

About three minutes later we pull into the parking lot and unload into the lobby. We didn't make it. Our table was gone. Our solution - as we sat there in the lobby at 7pm went something like this:

Kurt: "Hey guys I see presents over there under that Christmas tree. There looks like there is enough for all of you - take a look..."

Quads & Sammy: "AWESOME!"

Chaos ensued. A blur of brightly colored sweaters headed, en mass, to the Christmas tree. Luckily saner heads prevailed and stepped into the kids' path before they made it over to the quaint tree with the nicely decorated presents underneath. We were seated 5 minutes later.

Our trip was a blast. We had tons of fun!