Sunday, May 04, 2008

A Mall in Philadelphia

I took the boys to the mall today in an attempt to purchase some Penguin's gear. I'm not sure why I put myself through these things.

For you new readers - I live in Philadelphia, the home of the Philadelphia Flyers who will be playing the Pens in the upcoming Eastern Conference Championship. Philadelphia sports fans have been known to have a little... mmm... how should I put it... chip on their shoulder. I prefer to call them trashy, unintelligent, fanatics who have no real knowledge of the teams that the follow or the games that they watch... but that may be a slight generalization.

Anyway - while I'm standing in line with my gear some jagoff says to me, "I wouldn't dress your kids in those clothes if you want them to live." I responded with my normal nod and a smile. But after thinking about it I should have said,

"Yo jagoff... why don't you go dahn to the Orange Julius and pour some of that orange crap all over yourself in the "name of the Philadelphia Flyers." Be sure to yell and scream like someone in the world gives two shits what you think about hockey and then go bitch and moan somewhere about the Eagles inability to put a decent team on the field. When your done doing that - come back here and I'll tell you what it's like to win 5 Super Bowls and 2 Stanley Cups!"

These responses tend to come to me after the fact, though.