Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Jersey Rule

When purchasing professional sports jerseys in today's era of come and go players, you have to set ground rules. I follow these simple rules:

1. You can never go wrong with an iconic player from a previous era. Jack Lambert, Mario Lemieux, and Roberto Clemente come to mind. You'll always look cool wearing the shirts that these players adorned in their time.

2. Always buy jerseys of impact players and (if possible) future hall of famers on your current team. My closet consists of two Roethlisberger Jerseys (home and away), a Polamalu Jersey, an Ian Snell Jersey (more on this later) and a Crosby Jersey. Four of my five jerseys of current players fit into this category. What is nice is that when Ben leaves the Steelers to go and play for the Jets - his jersey will migrate from category 2 into category 1.

3. If, like me, you do find yourself with an Ian Snell jersey, don't fret. Keep that baby hung up in your closet, take good care of it, and simply wait. You will be the coolest guy in the bar in 2030. Think about it... when I go to Steelers bars here in Philly - I always look in envy at the guy wearing a Bubby Brister shirt. Hats off to ya, my friend!

I do feel it necessary to mention that, having been in Philadelphia for a length of time, I catch myself snickering everytime I see a Terrell Owens jersey or a Jim Thome jersey. Being from Pittsburgh, rarely (if ever), will I have to worry about a big name coming into town and then leaving because either a) he's an asshole (T.O.) or b) the team improperly managed it's free agent signings (signing Thome with Howard in the wings). This being said - if you are THAT GUY with one of THOSE JERSEYS - just trash it. It's hard, I know, but come to terms with the fact that the teams mistake is now your responsibility. Pony up the dough and go out and buy a new one.

Lastly - when purchasing jerseys for your children - don't buy the same player for each kid. Invest in a different player for each child and you will be loved and respected by all of your neighbors... unless of course you live in Philly and are Steeler fans.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


I could never hit a curveball. Now I see that the ball was actually thrown STRAIGHT and it was simply a result of my eye shifting from foveal to peripheral viewing. Someone tell Adam LaRoche.

Monday, May 25, 2009

A Good Weekend

Joe's Wedding

The first event of the weekend was my friend Joe's wedding. Geana and I headed up to Short Hills, NJ on Frid
ay afternoon and made it in time for the 6pm wedding - having to stop on the way for shoes, socks, and jewelry - then check into the hotel, shower, and get ready to go. It was close but we made it - and we had a drink at the bar before the wedding. Perhaps the most beautiful part of the wedding were the miniature hamburger appetizers. Mmmmm.... they were gooood! I wish Joe and Clare nothing but the best... despite the fact that BOTH refuse to sign up for facebook. They are going to Italy for their honeymoon - I suggested that they check out this bar.

Melissa Arrives

Melissa and Justin, my sister and brother in law, headed in from da 'burgh for the weekend (and Abby - their dog). Among the highlights of their trip were celebrating my birthday and Melissa getting pooped on by a bird - TWICE! Two memorable events that will live forever in family lure. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the bird poop. I was slow on the draw and couldn't find my camera. I apologize to all of you that I missed this precious moment. A fun time was had by all. We grilled, we played, and we listened to baseball on the deck. The kids especially enjoyed having the three of them in our house for 2 whole days. I can't wait until we do it again!

Preventing Poop and Playing in the Yard

We did several things today. First - we went to Home Depot and got some of those fake owls to prevent ME from getting pooped on in the future. Second - we picked up Sammy's friend Kelly and came back to the house and continued to play in the kiddie pools and on the water slide that are still out from yesterday.

The kids can't get enough of the water
slide these days. They are actually getting a little adventurous and are starting to jump off of the top. Robby started this phenomenon. Now - I'm off to keep listening to Chris Carpenter attempt a perfect game. He's through 6 in Milwaukee... I hope he gets it.

Monday, May 18, 2009

On a Scale of 1 to 10... You're Gross!

My morning and evening commutes include both the trolley and the subway. I leave the house, walk to the trolley, transfer to the subway and then walk to work. I could take the train but then I'd have to get into a car and drive to the train station and I'd be bound to the schedule of SEPTA. Who wants to do that? The trolley is a super convenient walk from my house, there are a million trips, and I usually get a seat - so that's how I choose to commute into work... not to mention the entertainment value provided on both the trolley and subway...

Believe it or not - sometimes I can get a little grossed out by the goings on inside the subway cars and also on the trolley. Therefore, I have created a "Grossness Scale" to determine how any in particular ride stacks up to another trip. (All things have happened to me in my 4+ years of riding the trolley/subway unless noted.)

1000 Points - If you poop, pee, or puke on any given ride the trip is automatically assigned 1000 gross points. In my estimation nothing can top excessive excretion of bodily fluids on public transportation when discussing the relative terms of grossness. This has never happened to me on the subway or trolley (yet), but there have been people who clearly peed on themselves prior to getting on the subway. Those people were assigned 40 odd smell points.

90 Points - Dead people or dead animals. If someone pulls a "Weekend at Bernie's" and brings a dead guy on the trip you will get 90 points. This also has not happened to me (that I know of), however someone did bring a dead dog on the trolley, once, to take him to the pet store. I'm not sure if they were returning it or asking the store to dispose of it. I didn't bother to ask. It stunk.

80 Points - Bare feet. Don't ride the subway without shoes on. Just. Don't. Do. It.

75 Points (in addition to the 80 gross points for bare feet) - Also don't trim your toenails on the subway. I've seen this. It wasn't pleasant. 50 additional points if you put the clipped toenails in your mouth.

70 Points - Flossing. Your daily commute is not the time to clean the funk out from between your teeth. Please do this at home.

60 Points - Smoking. Dude - don't get so hammered that you don't realize that you are on the trolley and light up a cigarette. This happened to me while waiting for the trolley to leave 69th street. The funny thing was that everyone on the packed trolley was afraid to say anything because if this dude was crazy enough to light a cigarette on the trolley there is no telling what he'll do to me if I ask him to put it out.

50 Points - Picking your nose. This happens a surprisingly high percentage of times I am on the trolley or subway. YO - LADY... WE CAN SEE YOU! Don't try to look in your purse and act like you are hunting for something. Just stop picking your nose OR bring a Kleenex with you. 50 additional points added when (not if) the person eats their boogs.

40 Points - Odd Smells. Unidentifiable smells coming from somewhere in the car get you 40 points. This could be body odor, bad breath, dank feet, Chinese food, or anything creating a pungent smell in the confined seating area.

30 Points - Eating & Drinking. I'm not so much grossed out about the fact that you are eating as much as I am grossed out that the guy that sat in your seat before you smelled like urine and flossed his teeth. Eat at home.

20 Points - Sleeveless shirts. Just have some semblance of sleeves if I'm going to sit next to you, please.

10 Points - Seeing Eye Dogs. I understand they are necessary - but they still gross me out and make the list.

5 Points - Soliciting of perfume, incense, candy, girl scout cookies, etc. Asking for change, crazy people muttering about Aunt Lucy, talking to me in general... all of these things get you 5 points. The low point total is because if you do it well you can actually be pretty entertaining.

The Negative Point Scenario - I do need to point out that the grossness point total can be DECREASED by the presence of a hot chick on board or by Steeler fans.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sunny Day... Sweepin' The Clouds Away...

I'm home. I'm alive.

We went to Sesame Place today. It was A BLAST!!! The kids had so much fun and so did Geana and I. It was a long day... but a fun one. We had to get up just like it was a school day and get out of the house by 8:00AM or so. The kids were dressed in their bathing suits and were ready to leave earlier than normal. (Go figure - when you are heading to an amusement park the kids are more motivated to get out the door... school - not so much... who knew?)

When we first got there I had total Deja Vu from my days of working as a Ferengi at Kings Dominion. (That's another story... don't ask.) It was so cool. We parked in this top secret parking lot and went in the back entrance behind these big fences. (I think all amusement parks look the same behind these fences. Golf carts tooling around, tan buildings that look like they are trying to blend in with the concrete, people with walkie talkies - talking about important park business. It took me right back to my Ferengi days...) Anyway - we got to walk into the park before it opened to see where we were going to go during our opening parade today. We headed through the park, past a replica of Sesame Street and down to The Count's Splash Castle - a new attraction - the reason we were there. As soon as we got down there we got to see Ernie, Burt, Telli, Zoe, Elmo, The Count, and more... the kids just about had an aneurysm. They were FREAKING OUT... in a good way - not like the two girls ahead of us who were freaking out in a "these dudes in these freaky, larger than life costumes scare the crap out of me" kind of way. I have to say - I sympathize with them a little. I mean - I used to work with those freaky guys. I used to BE one of those freaky guys. I'd be scared too.

We got our instructions and headed back to the staging area behind the fences. The parade went wonderfully and our kids actually got chosen to walk with The Count in the parade and then stand next to him during the cutting of the ribbon ceremony. (I know that this is why twin parents hate quad parents... and I can't really blame them... but our kids were adorable and I was so psyched that they got picked. Plus - I have to get some kind of reward for the mounds and mounds of laundry I do.)

It was a little chilly in the morning so the kids weren't too excited about playing in the water. The coolest thing about the new attraction is that there is a HUGE bucket of water above the castle that dumps on you every 4 or 5 minutes. The bucket is HUGE. We got soaked.

After we left our obligation at the Count's Castle we did our own thing. We saw a couple of shows and went on some rides. Geana went on the roller coaster with Sammy and just about puked. She still hasn't recuperated. For someone who refuses to let me drive because she gets sick in the passenger seat... this wasn't the wisest of moves. I think it ruined the day for her. She had to sit on the bench and recover for about an hour while I took the kids on some other stuff (which almost made me sick - video at the end of the post).

Perhaps the most hilarious part of the day was after one of the shows we watched the woman in front of us turned around and we had the following conversation:
Woman: Do you guys get recognized often?

Kurt: (Totally shocked and not sure what to say) Uhh... yeah... sometimes.

Woman: I KNEW they were going to have some famous people here for this multiples day. I've seen your shows on tv!

Kurt: (stifling outrageous laughter) Cool - Anna has to poop. I gotta run!
So all in all - a super successful day. We had fun, we were considered famous, and we didn't break any bones or skulls. As promised - here is a video from MY favorite part of the day. The Big Bird Balloon ride that took us up in the air and then spins you around until you lose your lunch.

Sesame Place... WE'RE OFF!!

Getting ready to head out to Sesame Place... Pictures and stories to follow this evening!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Things Kids Say

I'm exhausted tonight so here is a brief post about some hilarious things my kids have said recently.

1) Tonight we were at the Llanerch Diner and we were sitting there for about 5 minutes before the waiter decided that he would wait on our crazy family (we are intimidating). Well - the only reason he came over was because Robby screamed at the top of his lungs - "HEY MISTER - WHAT'S A KID GOTTA DO TO GET A DRINK IN THIS PLACE!?!?" Embarrassing? Yes. Justified? Absolutely.

2) As I was getting Ella dressed for bed tonight I had to yell at her. (Yes - we do yell at our kids in the Morris household... quite a bit actually.) Anyway - I yelled at her - saying something like, "Ella - Get over here!" Her teary eyed crying response was, "Daaaddyyy..... You're freaking me oooouut!!"

3) Finally - I'll pull one from the archives. It was Thanksgiving in my cousin's new house in Pittsburgh. All of the family was sitting in the living room around the piano - aunts, uncles, my parents, my grandfather, about 7 cousins and their spouses... we were drinking wine, singing songs, and having fun conversation. (Keep in mind that I see these people about once or twice a year at this point so when we get together it is a real good time and we always have fun.) When all of a sudden Robby comes running into the middle of the room pointing at his foot, "Daddy - I stepped in dog shit! I did - I stepped in dog shit! Wanna see? Wanna see!?!?"

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Our Morning Routine

6:00 - Alarm goes off. I push snooze. (Let me take a minute here to say that I'm the one in charge of the alarm clock. I'm not sure how and when this happened throughout the course of our marriage but at some point it became my responsibility to make sure that the whole family is up on time. I didn't sign up for this job... nor do I claim to be very good at it.)

6:30 - Anywhere from 4 to 10 scampering feet find their way into our bed. By this point in our lives, the kids have realized that the first ones into our bed get the prime spots, i.e. cuddled up next to Mommy or Daddy. Surprisingly - they have learned that if they miss out on that spot, they fit remarkably well curled up next to our feet. We feed them biscuits when they do this.

7:00 - I finally realize that we need to get out of bed because the kids have to be at school in less than an hour and I have to leave for work in just about the same time frame.

7:01 - I yell, "FIRE!!" And the kids immediately jump out of bed and run down the steps in fear for their lives. (I don't do this everyday... just on special occasions when I really feel like messing up my kids' psyches.)

7:10 - We finally get all of the kids herded downstairs and sitting at their spots at the kitchen table. Often times there is MEGA fighting from the kids to actually sit at the table. (We make them do this every single school day - it's a wonder to me why they continue to fight us on this simple task). We make them sit at the table so that they are all in one place and we don't have to search for anyone or have a doubt in our mind that everybody has made it downstairs. We turn on the Disney Channel. Nine mornings out of ten - we give them Pop tarts. Except Ella - she doesn't like Pop tarts and demands a granola bar. On the tenth morning - we give them Toaster Strudels. They love Toaster Strudel Day.

7:15 - As the kids are eating and watching Handy Manny, I walk around one by one and get them dressed. It is a recent revelation that the girls only want to wear dresses. I'm not sure when this happened - but as long as they don't want to start dating, I'm fine with this.

7:25 - Once I'm done dressing them, I take out the hair brushing buckets (we have two buckets that contain hair gel, water sprayers, hair ties, straightener, curly stuff, mouse, brushes, bows, barrets, spiker, combs, etc.). Personally - I use three items. 1) Water Sprayer. 2) Gel. 3) Brush. I only brush the boys hair. I've recused myself from attempting to brush the girl's hair. For whatever reason, I will never succeed at making my girls hair look pretty. When I try to style it - it looks like Michael Jackson's hair on the cover of "Bad".

GEANA - BTW - While I've been doing all of this crap, Geana has been packing lunches, writing notes to teachers, backing school bags, etc. Frankly - we divide and conquer. If I was ever asked to do what she does in the morning I'd be lost. At some point Geana brushes the girl's hair but I couldn't tell you how or when.

7:35 - Time to brush teeth. This is my least favorite part of the morning. Because the kids just ate, they have all kinds of funk in their teeth. I've thought about changing up the routine to have them brush teeth first - but why mess with a process that is working? Right? If I fight with them to just sit at the table when they come down, I can't even imagine the comments from them if I were to ask them to brush their teeth first. We do this as an assembly line. Quadruplet 1 comes in - we brush: Ahhh... Eeeee.... tongue... rinse... spit. Quadruplet 2 comes in - repeat. Quadruplet 3... Quadruplet 4... Sammy... and so on... (I might also point out that I'm a horrible person... I leave the water running. I know - Mother Earth is crying. I know - I'm an inconsiderate bastard. I know all of these things and I don't care. If I were to turn the water on and off each time I had a kid come in to wet their tooth brush, rinse their toothbrush, and then again to fill their rinse cup and then again to wipe their mouth I would have to move the the facet 40 times. That would make me cry... sorry Mother Earth.)

7:45 - WE FORGOT SHOES! (This happens everyday). "Everyone put your shoes on!" I run around and try to put the shoes on each kid now that they've vacated the table. This is not an easy task but somehow we manage to find enough shoes for five kids every morning. They may not match the outfit - but they match each other. That's all that counts.

7:55 - I push them all out the door after I hug and kiss each one. Geana loads them into the van and off they go.

8:00 - I get ready for work.

8:10 - I leave for work.

Like I said - I shouldn't be in charge of when we wake up because clearly I should get ready before I get the kids ready, right? Wrong. You try brushing teeth, feeding kids, brushing hair, dressing kids, hugging kids - all without getting anything on your suit or shirt. It isn't an easy task. Hence - they get ready before I do. (We still could get up earlier.)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Hockey... My Secret Love.

If you didn't already know - I'm a huge baseball fan. It's in the name of my blog. At age 12 I had Pittsburgh Pirates wallpaper and newspaper clippings hanging on my bedroom walls. I don't think there was a square inch of my room that wasn't colored black & gold. I've gone to Spring Training four times, now, to watch meaningless games played, many times, by meaningless players. I've been to the World Series in NY when the Yankees beat the Mets. I was at the last game at Veteran's Stadium and the first game at PNC Park. I'm also a descendant of Western PA - so I'm a football... no a Steelers fan, too. These two sports hold a very special place in my heart and in my life. They are more than a game to me... they are a bond with family and friends... they are a link to my past and a window into the future.

All of this being said - I don't think there is a more exciting sport than playoff hockey. Watching these guys, fatigued as hell, find the will to push on and play the game is utterly incredible. At times I catch myself thinking, "Holy crap! I can't even ice skate and these guys have done it for 60 minutes at full speed." Not to mention they have an actual purpose (not just skating around and around and around in circles.) Does it help that the Pens are an incredible team? Yes. Have I paid as much attention to the Pens in the past 15 years as I have to the Steelers and Pirates? No. But do I love watching this team in the playoffs? Absolutely. Sammy is still up and we are wearing our Crosby jerseys trying to will a win in OT against the Caps.

Sports are more than sports for our family. We're not crazy. We're not fanatics. It is just a bond and a kinship that is not imagined, but very real and very tangible.

Ovechkin scares the crap out of me.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Adults vs. Kids

The girls had their annual (I guess it's annual - this is our first season) girls vs. Parents softball game. I was super excited for the game... but came home utterly amazed at people's... umm.... lack of awareness (nah), blatunt disregard for safety (nah), f-ing stupidity... that's it.

Someone should tell these 30 to 40 year-old men that they are playing FOUR YEAR OLD GIRLS! Seriously - I wish I had my video camera with me because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Some of these dudes were crushing the ball to the fence. Literally - taking a stance and swinging as hard as they could. One guy actually hit the fence on a fly. Never mind that there were about 10 four year-olds about 15 feet in front of him - none of which were actually paying attention enough to follow what was going on or be alert if a screaming liner happened to be hit their way. Way to go dude... you can hit a softball, thrown from a pitching machine, to the fence on a tball field. Hey - maybe you should unzip and whip it out, too. This'll really show all of the other parents how manly you are. One thing is for sure - it would be equally inappropriate.

Only one kid actually took a line drive off of her head today... Anna. She's fine - but of course it happened to my kid. That dude's kid was probably picking her nose, ducking behind the pitching machine for safety. Geana asked Anna if she was okay and she was upset that she didn't catch the ball but she stayed in the game. In related news, Anna came in second of about 30 girls in a cut-throat game of "Simon Says." She only lost to a 6 year-old but was visibly upset when she was eliminated. She is, hands down, the most competitive of my kids. One time we were playing "The Quiet Game" and about 20 minutes after I thought we had completed the game she tapped on my shoulder asking the non-verbal question, "Yo Dad - can I talk yet?"

Speaking of injuries - Sammy is on the 15 day DL. He helped coach firstbase today and followed the coach around because of his cast. He actually thought it was a lot of fun.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!

Friday, May 08, 2009

Weekend Plans

Geana is home this weekend - so no broken arms and no asthma attacks are in the plans. What we do have planned for the weekend is:
  • TBall and Softball on Saturday.
  • ...
That's it.. really? Are you kidding me? Two things??? Woo hoo!

I just had to call Geana to verify that this is true and it turns out that it is. ALRIIIIGHT!!! Plans for the weekend now include:
  • Pens Game
  • Pirates Games Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in NY... hmmm... maybe we can go to one...
  • Endless ridiculousness with the kids.
Hope you have a fun weekend!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

What Happens When Daddy's In Charge

An Unprompted Promotion

Why is it that anytime I see someone that I went to college with or see anyone who graduated from UARTS, I feel it necessary to babble on about why I'm not pursuing acting and theatre as a career anymore? I love my job... I love the path I've taken in my life... I couldn't be happier - I'm serious. But yet I still get this impulse and feeling when speaking to other UARTS grads or artists. URGH.

This happened to me yesterday, immediately following Sammy's piano lesson and the girl's dancing school class. All three take classes at Napoli School of Music at 6:30 on Wednesday nights. (First off - let me say that I LOVE the school. Having gone through a professional training program and having lived in that world - they employ the structure, discipline, and energy that is necessary to foster creativity. A lot of times, particularly in kids' classes, structure and discipline are thrown out the window and what you end up with is a bunch of unfocussed kids with no real direction and no real understanding of what it is they are expected to do... but anyway...) Both Sammy's piano instructor and the girls' dance instructor were chatting in the office right after class while I was packing up Sammy's books and the girl's shoes. Turns out both instructors went to UARTS! (They are a bit younger than me, though).

I immediately piped in and said, "Oh - I went to UARTS, too!" We all thought it was pretty cool and we chatted for a couple of seconds about it before I carted the kids off into the car. It was wierd, though. I refrained from doing so, but I immediately felt like I had to tell them why I'm not in the theatre world anymore and how I really love my job and how I got here, blah blah blah... etc. I didn't do it - but I had the impulse. I wonder when that will go away? Will it ever? I've had conversations with friends from UARTS who experience the same thing. Why is that? Is it because the competition is so great in the entertainment business that we feel we have to justify why we "lost"? Is it because we all assumed we would be professional artists when we were in school and the reality is that only about 10 - 25% of the people will actually make a living doing what they went to school for?

The truth is - I don't know the answer but I do know that I'm incredibly proud of myself for refraining from justifying my current existence like a babbling idiot. At the end of the day - I'm psyched that my kids are going to a school where they are being taught by people who know what they are doing and know what they are talking talking about, who have been professionally trained, and who implement structure and disipline into their teaching of a creative craft. I've finally found my home for art classes for the kids. Woo Hoo!!!!

Check out their link earlier in the post, particularly if you are in the Philadelphia area.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Sesame Place

I'm a big supporter of capitalizing on the fact that I have a million kids. Hey - why not? As long as I don't put them in stupid situations or set them up to be ill-equipped adults, I'm fine.

Our latest endeavor was to send Sesame Place some photos of our family in the hopes of being chosen to open their new attraction, The Count's Splash Castle. They wanted 6 families with multiples to help open the attraction. My guess is so that The Count can be there and do something wacky with the kids... like counting them.

So - on May 16 we will be heading over to Sesame Place for some good old quadruplet fun where we'll dress them up all the same, let them play in the new attraction, and then spend the day at the park being "treated as VIP's" whatever that means. I'm envisioning a day of being carted around in a chariot that is being pulled by Snufolupogus. My guess is, as usual, I have set my hopes too high. We'll see.

This was the picture that we sent:

Can you see why we won? I have such adorable kids!

Monday, May 04, 2009


Some fun things I found while using Stumble Upon (and listening to the Pirates blow the game in the 9th inning).

This couldn't be said better. DOING it is another story.

For the ladies - tips for a teenage daughter.

For the dudes - dealing with a bully at school.
Maybe I'm still feeling a bit guilty about Ella and Sammy from over the weekend. In my mind I know that there was nothing that could have been done differently... really. Until tomorrow...

2 Trips to the ER Later

So I'm not sure if Geana will ever leave me alone with the kids again. Two of our kids had the privilege of taking a trip to the ER yesterday, largely because I was in charge over the weekend. Let me explain...

On Friday night, about a nanosecond after Geana left, Anna rolled over on top of Sammy and hurt his thumb. It was clearly hurt but he could move it. We put some ice on it to keep the swelling down and moved on our way. There were minor complaints throughout the weekend concerning things like putting socks and shoes on but nothing major concerning the thumb. He even played tball on Saturday with no problem. I believe the words, "just rub some dirt on it" never actually came out of my mouth - but they should have.

When Geana got home yesterday he said that practicing piano hurt him and he showed her his swollen thumb. We promptly took him to the local pediatric orthopedist who happens to live just across the street. Her diagnosis - probably broken... take him to the ER.

When all was said and done... X-Rays - broken thumb - sent home in a splint - getting cast today.

On Sunday night, about a nanosecond after Geana came home, Ella was having trouble catching her breath and wouldn't stop coughing. She had complained about her neck hurting throughout the weekend. This is usually her way of complaining about her acid reflux. Honestly - I know that I missed some of her medications this weekend in all of the commotion of watching five kids. She's on Flovent, Albuterol, Zyrtek, and Prevacid several times a day. When she misses her meds, she goes downhill very quickly. I feel horrible.

Anyway - her diagnosis was NO PNEMONIA! Yay! She does, however, have an ear infection and was having a pretty sever asthma attack. At 4am Ella and I crawled into bed and were promptly awoken by Robby and James wanting to get up and get ready for school at 5am.

When casting your ballots, please consider me for "Father of The Year."

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Sac Bunts and Grand Slams

We went to the Riversharks game yesterday. The kids lasted until about the sixth inning when we finally had to get up and head over to the funzone. (We didn't actually go into the funzone because the moon bounce was broken and all other activities were a bit old for our crew). Dewon Brazelton pitched and I got to see Junior Spivey play SS. It felt just like 2002.

At one point - Sammy asked, "Why is that guy holding his bat out sideways like that?" This was a monumental moment for me because it is the first time Sammy asked me a legitimate question about the goings on in a professional game. HE'S PAYING ATTENTION AND FOLLOWING THE GAME! YES!! Season tickets... here we come! I told him that he is trying to just push the ball back towards the pitcher and it's called a bunt. Brilliantly, he replied, "but he'll get thrown out. Why would he do that?" Now it was my pleasure to explain how the sacrifice bunt works. See there were guys on 2nd and 1st base and he was trying to bunt them up a base. I'm not sure if he understood at first but then on the next pitch the batter laid down an awesome bunt up the 3rd base line. The throw came from the pitcher to 1st and the runner actually beat it out for a bunt single. After he saw the play, I'm pretty sure he got it.

Today we were watching the Cubs play the Marlins on WGN (the conversation about baseball quietly being on WGN all the time will come next year, presumably) and the bases were loaded for Derrek Lee. Sam looked at me and said, "If he hits a homerun, Dad, he'll get a grand slam." Again - I'm loving this! Then Lee did it. He went yard and hit the Grand Slam! High fives and chest bumps followed in our living room.

Sammy also is aware that a lefty who is facing a fireballer like Dewon Brazelton could line a screaming foul ball down the third base side, into the stands. Having the memory of his head injury fresh enough in his mind, he didn't take any chances when a lefty came to the plate and took the proper precautions.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Mmmm... Hummus

I've often thought about writing a book geared toward kid friendly, affordable things for families to do with their kids. That's a shitty title. Hence the lack of a book.

Anyway - Perkins does not make the cut at all. While the food is adequate (not as good as the pictures suggest) the price is ridiculous. I know we're talking about... Perkin's... but hear me out. Geana had the van tonight when I got home from work. Because I didn't want to feed my kids limes or Corona (the two existing perishable items in my refrigerator right now), I decided to walk, yes walk, all five kids to the local eatery... (To the woman who felt it necessary to interrupt our calculated march from the hostess stand to our table in order to hand me her Girl Scout's of America business card - F.U.)

Let me take a minute here to post the Girl Scout Law. Let's see how she stacks up:
I will do my best to be
Honest and fair,
Friendly and helpful (NOPE),
Considerate and caring (NOPE),
Courageous and strong, and
Responsible for what I say and do (NOPE),
And to
respect myself and others (NOPE),
respect authority (NOPE),
use resources wisely (NOPE),
make the world a better place (NOPE), and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.
Clearly this woman failed in almost every aspect of being a Girl Scout. We won't be calling her.

I digress... Perkins sucks. Our meal consisted of 5 children's meals, an adult serving of eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and toast, one adult diet coke, and 5 kids waters. (I'm not cheap - they wanted water - leave me alone.) Total bill = $50. Ridiculous.

If I sound perterbed it's because it's almost 1am and I'm eating hummus and toast (with lime) because the eggs and bacon didn't do it for me.

More tomorrow when I attempt to take the kids to their respective softball and tball games, then head to Camden, NJ for a Riversharks game.... alone. Geana is in Ocean City, NJ.

G'Night all!