What a Let Down!

For the record - keeping a chronicle of my everyday life at work is nowhere near as fun as doing so on the beach with quadruplets - but I thought I'd give it a shot to see just how entertaining it can be...

Got coffee:

Typed an e-mail:

Added some stuff:

Sharpened a pencil:

On another note - as I was commuting home from work yesterday, still in a cast, I got on the subway and nobody offered up their seat. Ok. Fine. I'm annoyed - but whatever - there is a seat at the end of the car, I will sit there. All the woman has to do is move from the outside seat to the inside seat and let me sit with my scooter in the aisle and it won't be in any one's way. Perfect. (This is an annoyance of mine, too, by the way. To all of you passive aggressive a-holes out there that ride the subway and think that the seat next to you was created for a bag, purse, or your invisible friend so that you don't have to share your double seater with me - you are mistaken. If you really don't want someone to sit next to you, man up and tell me that when I try to sit down rather than rolling your eyes at my insistence on the moving of your bag.) My children will never do this.

Anyway, I made my way down the aisle next to the lady. I stood... she didn't move... I stared at her... she stole quick little glances up at me, still not moving over... I stood some more... the subway pulled away from the station... she stared straight ahead like in a trance, no longer stealing quick glances up at me. The inside seat was still empty and it became crystal clear to me that this woman had no intention of sharing. Being a stubborn cripple these days, I refused to ask the question, "May I please sit down - after all, asshole, I'm wearing a freakin' cast." So I stood. The. Whole. Ride.

About 20 minutes later we both got off at the end of the line. I tore off down the platform on my scooter, mad as hell, but not having said a word. I was mad at myself now for not coming up with something witty to say. When...

As I was waiting for the elevator to come back down to the platform, the lady made her way up and stood next to me, also waiting for a ride up. This was my chance! I can also be a passive aggressive a-hole. The elevator opened. As a gentleman, I usually let a lady in first but today I was no gentleman. I sped into the elevator on my scooter, positioning the monstrosity that carries my left foot around these days just in front of the elevator door so that she couldn't make her way in. I smiled and said, "Sorry - there's no room. You'll have to get the next one." I shut the door and proceeded up to the station level. When the elevator opened up I pulled the little red "stop" button and went on my merry way.

Ahh... sweet victory!

On a Scale of 1 to 10... You're Gross!

My morning and evening commutes include both the trolley and the subway. I leave the house, walk to the trolley, transfer to the subway and then walk to work. I could take the train but then I'd have to get into a car and drive to the train station and I'd be bound to the schedule of SEPTA. Who wants to do that? The trolley is a super convenient walk from my house, there are a million trips, and I usually get a seat - so that's how I choose to commute into work... not to mention the entertainment value provided on both the trolley and subway...

Believe it or not - sometimes I can get a little grossed out by the goings on inside the subway cars and also on the trolley. Therefore, I have created a "Grossness Scale" to determine how any in particular ride stacks up to another trip. (All things have happened to me in my 4+ years of riding the trolley/subway unless noted.)

1000 Points - If you poop, pee, or puke on any given ride the trip is automatically assigned 1000 gross points. In my estimation nothing can top excessive excretion of bodily fluids on public transportation when discussing the relative terms of grossness. This has never happened to me on the subway or trolley (yet), but there have been people who clearly peed on themselves prior to getting on the subway. Those people were assigned 40 odd smell points.

90 Points - Dead people or dead animals. If someone pulls a "Weekend at Bernie's" and brings a dead guy on the trip you will get 90 points. This also has not happened to me (that I know of), however someone did bring a dead dog on the trolley, once, to take him to the pet store. I'm not sure if they were returning it or asking the store to dispose of it. I didn't bother to ask. It stunk.

80 Points - Bare feet. Don't ride the subway without shoes on. Just. Don't. Do. It.

75 Points (in addition to the 80 gross points for bare feet) - Also don't trim your toenails on the subway. I've seen this. It wasn't pleasant. 50 additional points if you put the clipped toenails in your mouth.

70 Points - Flossing. Your daily commute is not the time to clean the funk out from between your teeth. Please do this at home.

60 Points - Smoking. Dude - don't get so hammered that you don't realize that you are on the trolley and light up a cigarette. This happened to me while waiting for the trolley to leave 69th street. The funny thing was that everyone on the packed trolley was afraid to say anything because if this dude was crazy enough to light a cigarette on the trolley there is no telling what he'll do to me if I ask him to put it out.

50 Points - Picking your nose. This happens a surprisingly high percentage of times I am on the trolley or subway. YO - LADY... WE CAN SEE YOU! Don't try to look in your purse and act like you are hunting for something. Just stop picking your nose OR bring a Kleenex with you. 50 additional points added when (not if) the person eats their boogs.

40 Points - Odd Smells. Unidentifiable smells coming from somewhere in the car get you 40 points. This could be body odor, bad breath, dank feet, Chinese food, or anything creating a pungent smell in the confined seating area.

30 Points - Eating & Drinking. I'm not so much grossed out about the fact that you are eating as much as I am grossed out that the guy that sat in your seat before you smelled like urine and flossed his teeth. Eat at home.

20 Points - Sleeveless shirts. Just have some semblance of sleeves if I'm going to sit next to you, please.

10 Points - Seeing Eye Dogs. I understand they are necessary - but they still gross me out and make the list.

5 Points - Soliciting of perfume, incense, candy, girl scout cookies, etc. Asking for change, crazy people muttering about Aunt Lucy, talking to me in general... all of these things get you 5 points. The low point total is because if you do it well you can actually be pretty entertaining.

The Negative Point Scenario - I do need to point out that the grossness point total can be DECREASED by the presence of a hot chick on board or by Steeler fans.

Our Morning Routine

6:00 - Alarm goes off. I push snooze. (Let me take a minute here to say that I'm the one in charge of the alarm clock. I'm not sure how and when this happened throughout the course of our marriage but at some point it became my responsibility to make sure that the whole family is up on time. I didn't sign up for this job... nor do I claim to be very good at it.)

6:30 - Anywhere from 4 to 10 scampering feet find their way into our bed. By this point in our lives, the kids have realized that the first ones into our bed get the prime spots, i.e. cuddled up next to Mommy or Daddy. Surprisingly - they have learned that if they miss out on that spot, they fit remarkably well curled up next to our feet. We feed them biscuits when they do this.

7:00 - I finally realize that we need to get out of bed because the kids have to be at school in less than an hour and I have to leave for work in just about the same time frame.

7:01 - I yell, "FIRE!!" And the kids immediately jump out of bed and run down the steps in fear for their lives. (I don't do this everyday... just on special occasions when I really feel like messing up my kids' psyches.)

7:10 - We finally get all of the kids herded downstairs and sitting at their spots at the kitchen table. Often times there is MEGA fighting from the kids to actually sit at the table. (We make them do this every single school day - it's a wonder to me why they continue to fight us on this simple task). We make them sit at the table so that they are all in one place and we don't have to search for anyone or have a doubt in our mind that everybody has made it downstairs. We turn on the Disney Channel. Nine mornings out of ten - we give them Pop tarts. Except Ella - she doesn't like Pop tarts and demands a granola bar. On the tenth morning - we give them Toaster Strudels. They love Toaster Strudel Day.

7:15 - As the kids are eating and watching Handy Manny, I walk around one by one and get them dressed. It is a recent revelation that the girls only want to wear dresses. I'm not sure when this happened - but as long as they don't want to start dating, I'm fine with this.

7:25 - Once I'm done dressing them, I take out the hair brushing buckets (we have two buckets that contain hair gel, water sprayers, hair ties, straightener, curly stuff, mouse, brushes, bows, barrets, spiker, combs, etc.). Personally - I use three items. 1) Water Sprayer. 2) Gel. 3) Brush. I only brush the boys hair. I've recused myself from attempting to brush the girl's hair. For whatever reason, I will never succeed at making my girls hair look pretty. When I try to style it - it looks like Michael Jackson's hair on the cover of "Bad".

GEANA - BTW - While I've been doing all of this crap, Geana has been packing lunches, writing notes to teachers, backing school bags, etc. Frankly - we divide and conquer. If I was ever asked to do what she does in the morning I'd be lost. At some point Geana brushes the girl's hair but I couldn't tell you how or when.

7:35 - Time to brush teeth. This is my least favorite part of the morning. Because the kids just ate, they have all kinds of funk in their teeth. I've thought about changing up the routine to have them brush teeth first - but why mess with a process that is working? Right? If I fight with them to just sit at the table when they come down, I can't even imagine the comments from them if I were to ask them to brush their teeth first. We do this as an assembly line. Quadruplet 1 comes in - we brush: Ahhh... Eeeee.... tongue... rinse... spit. Quadruplet 2 comes in - repeat. Quadruplet 3... Quadruplet 4... Sammy... and so on... (I might also point out that I'm a horrible person... I leave the water running. I know - Mother Earth is crying. I know - I'm an inconsiderate bastard. I know all of these things and I don't care. If I were to turn the water on and off each time I had a kid come in to wet their tooth brush, rinse their toothbrush, and then again to fill their rinse cup and then again to wipe their mouth I would have to move the the facet 40 times. That would make me cry... sorry Mother Earth.)

7:45 - WE FORGOT SHOES! (This happens everyday). "Everyone put your shoes on!" I run around and try to put the shoes on each kid now that they've vacated the table. This is not an easy task but somehow we manage to find enough shoes for five kids every morning. They may not match the outfit - but they match each other. That's all that counts.

7:55 - I push them all out the door after I hug and kiss each one. Geana loads them into the van and off they go.

8:00 - I get ready for work.

8:10 - I leave for work.

Like I said - I shouldn't be in charge of when we wake up because clearly I should get ready before I get the kids ready, right? Wrong. You try brushing teeth, feeding kids, brushing hair, dressing kids, hugging kids - all without getting anything on your suit or shirt. It isn't an easy task. Hence - they get ready before I do. (We still could get up earlier.)

Back to Work, House News, and The Beach

Yesterday was my first day back in the office. As expected - I didn't get much done because everyone wanted to hear about our family's adventures in brain surgery and a house fire. It's nice to work at a place where so many of the people have genuine concern and are interested in our family.

Well finally, at about 2pm, I was able to sit down and go through me e-mails. This was probably the most touching part of my day. I had been monitoring my e-mail by blackberry while I was out of the office but this moment gave me the opportunity to re-read and sift through all of the e-mails from friends, family, co-workers, church members, etc. wishing us luck and sending us their thoughts and prayers. It was nice to revisit such an outpouring of love and support. We were offered everything from a new washer, to babysitters, to food, to toys... Unfortunately, we don't have any room for "stuff" right now. My parents house is big, but we can't really put lots of additional stuff in there and our house is in the process of being emptied so that they can clean it out.

Speaking of the house - I was able to meet with the general contractor and insurance guy for a number of hours on Wednesday. It's looking like they are going to have to replace the AC unit and all of the pipes that deliver the air to the rooms in the house (we don't have duct work so it is a high pressure, piping system). They are also going to have to replace the electrical panel and all of the wiring because it got wet by the fire hoses. Those two things, along with the living room and dining room floors getting refinished are the main things in the house that they're going to have to fix. I've been meaning to take a picture of some of the stuff in the house and post it here. I'll do that in the next several days. The appliances in the basement that will have to be replaced are 2 washers, 2 dryers, an oven, and a freezer. We're hoping that our kitchen refrigerator comes out of this alive, but it was at the top of the basement steps and has a lot of black soot on it.

Geana has been at the beach with the kiddos for the past couple of days. We felt it was important to give them a little bit of a vacation after all that they've been through. Sammy can't do much, but it's better to not do much at the beach than at home is my thinking. If you are living out of a suitcase, why not do it near an ocean. It also gives my parents some time without kids at home to decompress a bit. That being said - they are coming home tomorrow and I'm super excited because I miss the kids terribly. I can't wait to see them!