Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Too Soon

One passing, that happened yesterday morning just outside of Pittsburgh, PA, has definitely hit me the hardest this month.

Kathy Cecotti, my high school theatre teacher, succumbed to a five-year battle with cancer yesterday. Almost immediately there was a facebook group created called, "Remembering Mrs. Cecotti." Literally hundreds of people, whose lives she has touched through her teaching, caring, and creating, have come together to pay their respects and to celebrate her tragically shortened life. She was a remarkable person who lit up a room and was forever laughing and smiling.

I look back on this month, with the makeshift memorials throughout the world to Michael Jackson and the thousands of tears flowing as we lost a beautiful artist and woman in Farrah Fawcet, and I can't help to pause on the hundreds of other deaths... those you don't read about... those of teachers, of caretakers, of parents and children. People who have touched the lives of many and just quietly pass away - unbeknownst to me. Unbeknownst to anyone really... other than those with whom they graciously shared a piece of their lives. I truly admire and respect people who give selflessly to others, particularly to children, and who sacrifice their own time to benefit the lives of the kids around them. It makes me strive, to this day, to be a better person. Mrs. Cecotti did that for me... and for thousands of kids.

I was a senior at Thomas Jefferson High School when she came there in 1994. She must have been about 27 or 28 years old. Younger than I am today. It makes me want to go home and squeeze my kids even more and thank God for the blessings I have been given. My thoughts and prayers are with the Cecotti family today.

Instead of saying Rest in Peace or You are Missed or any of that stuff - I'd rather just say, "Thank You!"

In the picture above, Mrs. Cecotti is the one on the left.

Back to fun topics later this week...

Monday, June 29, 2009


I've had a whirlwind several days. Geana went to Connecticut with Sammy for a Gaelic Football Tournament and I was left with the kids for the weekend... some of the weekend highlights were:

My friend Adam came over and we BBQed on Saturday

Sunday was spent at the pool - but before we went we headed to the flea market where they were selling jersey's for $1 each. Needless to say - we bought a few. No rules apply when the jerseys cost $1.

Also at the flea market the kids got to hold parrots and later we went out to dinner for pizza and then watched ET.

There were no hospital visits.

I think I'm recovered now - but I'm still too tired to be funny, witty, or to write anything meaningful. I'll just leave you with this video which, despite his death, I find utterly hilarious. It really starts at the 0:45 mark. Rest In Peace Billy Mays.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Accepting Votes for Parents of The Year!

The other day Sammy was playing the theme to Jaws on the piano. It was innocent enough - it was even unintended. Da Dum... Da Dum...

We searched for a YouTube clip that had the theme song so that we could show him. Upon looking and looking and looking - Geana finally found one and showed it to Sammy - who thought it was pretty cool. I mean, I guess he thought it was cool because he kept playing that damn song (if you can call it a song) for the next hour. Da Dum... Da Dum... Da Dum...

This led us on a trip down memory lane and we looked up the details of the movie online. It was made in 1975. It starred a young Richard Dreyfus, and - to our surprise - it had a PG rating! "WHAT?" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME" were some of our comments. Yup - PG. Check it out here. This quickly led to a discussion that went kinda like this:
Geana: It's rated PG - we should watch it with the kids.
Kurt: Totally!
We couldn't wait for Netflix so we ran to Hollywood Video to rent the movie (yes those stores still exist). Make some popcorn and hand me a soda, Mom, we're about to watch a shark eating people at the beach! Woo Hoo!! Robby and James were psyched! Anna and Ella - not so much. Sammy - still playing Da Dum... Da Dum...

We got home, turned down the lights, and settled in to watch the movie.

I should place a disclaimer here that we do teach our children that everything on tv is fake and that it is just pretend. Ella's response is always, "Everything on tv is fake... except for us, right Daddy?" Turns out this is true.

Anyway - back to the movie...

Anna & Ella took solice in each other. They pretty much sat next to each other, hugging, the entire movie. Mommy and Daddy took turns hugging them, too, of course. Robby and James were running around the room with their hands sticking up like a fin saying Da Dum... Da Dum... And Sammy sat next to us and watched intently, really enjoying the movie. If this wasn't Parental Guidance, I don't know what is.

I do have to say that - HANDS DOWN - the universal "favorite" part of the movie was when they were all in the boat, at night, drinking and singing the song, "I had a drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head!" See - this is the song that Grandma sings to them at bedtime when they visit her house. We'll see how that goes next time she sings it...

Oh - and our beach vacation is in less than a month!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Did Ya Ever Fall in Love Again?

(you've been warned)

Have you ever caught yourself looking at one of your kids and just melting inside? That happened to me tonight with James. It was shortly after Robby had created World War III with Anna and Ella by taunting them with his new Aunt Monica (harmonica). And it was just before Ella threw a fit worthy of an Oscar because she wanted a hug from Mommy before bed.

I had just kissed his skinned knee and told him that it would be okay and he just looked at me and said, "Daddy - I really love you." It was one of those moments when you feel utterly responsible for this little life that is in front of you. It was completely unprompted and he didn't want anything from me in return. (That's often a game my kids play... I want a cookie therefore - Daddy, I love you... now gimme a cookie, man.) I'm not sure why it got to me - perhaps because he caught me unaware at a moment when I was able to give him my undivided attention. He looked at me with his glasses on the tip of his nose and just said it.

I remember a specific time in the NICU, holding James and trying to get him to take a bottle (this was before they learned how to suck.) I thought to myself, "I'm so lucky to be able to hold this little guy in my arms and be able to look around and see three other babies just waiting for their turn. I'm never going to be short of love in my life."

Today he proved it. I love you too, buddy!

Monday, June 22, 2009

My Thoughts on Jon & Kate... for those who care.

Ok - I've been asked about 100 times about my thoughts on this stupid television couple. I sat down - for the first time - and watched an entire episode tonight and I have the following things to say.

1. I've never watched this show in the past because it always seemed too real to me. I've caught bits and pieces here and there. It was like watching my life and, frankly, it wasn't that entertaining... to me. I live a life with high order multiples everyday. I know what it's like to get tons of kids dressed in the morning or to brush teeth, or to give baths etc. Therefore - I'd rather watch SportsCenter with my television viewing minutes...

2. They have made their decisions, all of them, in order to benefit their lives and to "get" what they could in order to provide their kids with stuff that they could never have provided had it not been for TLC and for their show. Listen man - having multiples is freakin' EXPENSIVE. Instead of buying that powerwheels for your kid you're buying those 4 powerwheels for your kids (I'm not complaining - this gives you the jeep, the escalade, the backhoe, AND the pink car). Instead of buying a box of poptarts at the grocery store - I buy them on pallets at BJ's. I understand and, honestly, congratulations for being able to "get" what you have gotten. I wish I could have done that for my kids. (Instead I have a backyard of empty pallets.) Now - as it turns out - this has become their careers... which is fine. Their single source of income is from their tv show. To those of you out there who have said to me, "They should just stop doing the show. Why would they put their kids through that?" Answer me this - would you just quit your job, your only source of income, for any reason at all without having anything else lined up that is comparable in compensation? Honestly - you want to really screw your kids - go ahead and do that. They put themselves in a tough spot but I completely follow the path that they were on. Benefit 1: an unbelievable documentary of your children's lives that they will have forever. Benefit 2: income you couldn't have dreamed of (with greater expenses (b/c of having multiples) you could never have dreamed of). Benefit 3: Fame. Honestly - 90% of people would do it if they were presented with the opportunity. I guarantee it.

3. I blame, largely, their producers. Not for their failed marriage - but for the direction of the show. People watch the show to watch normal people being overwhelmed by kids... yet managing to succeed somehow (or fail). People that middle class America can relate to. Someone should have told Jon & Kate that people don't want to watch them in a multi-million dollar home or driving sports cars or in designer clothes. Don't get me wrong - make the money - but save it. Invest it. Squirrel it away. This show certainly isn't going to last forever. Keep living life getting free stuff from sponsors, free trips, free help, and all of that. But don't put on the perception of being "rich". Make your money, but hide it away for later. This society will turn on you on a dime - especially if it is perceived that you made $$ off of your kids - and that is what is happening, regardless of the cheating, etc. Someone should have guided them or had some type of artistic control of the show. Or the Gosselin's should have anticipated this themselves. This, to me, is the biggest reason for failure.

4. I feel that they are living their life FOR their show, now, which the show should be a window into the reality of their life. As soon as they start living FOR the show instead of the show being a window into reality - it becomes fake, unreal, and consequently uninteresting. Does this make sense? I want to see reality - not their scripted version of reality. (Well - I don't want to see it at all but most of America does, it seems.) The fact that they filed for divorce on the day that this show aired was kinda ridiculous to me. If you are going to get divorced - then get divorced - but don't schedule your filings based on your television show's airing schedule. Pahleeease.

5. Don't forget that they are just normal people who have been handed an overwhelming life. They made decisions in the face of this overwhelmingness (is that a word). Some of their decisions were good and some were bad. They are just people trying to make it - just like you and me. Jon, in particular it seems, got a taste of the famous life and started to live it up. What he didn't realize is that he isn't "a real celebrity". The same rules don't pertain to you as to George Clooney - sorry dude. You're just a dude - one with a bunch of kids - that nobody is going to care about five years from now (except maybe your kids). George Clooney - he'll still be on tv in five years. Jon Gosselin - not so much.

6. Lastly - they need to stop saying that what they are doing is for the kids. It plays as a cop out and bullsh@t on tv. This goes to my point #3, though. How is your sports car for the kids? Your hair plugs? Your designer coats?

I will never speak of these people again on my blog... unless they commit murder, have a sex change, or invite me on their show. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Sunday Podcast

We were at my Sister In-Law's house for Father's Day today. I had an awesome day with the kids, eating lobster and waffles and ice cream. In fact - I think I'm getting powdered sugar on my niece's laptop right now. (shhh)

I played 5 songs in today's episode... enjoy!

The Quadcast #21

Joshua Kadison - "My Father's Son"

Mr. Westmore - "Misplaced Orchestra"

Joe Purdy - "Walking Down"

Shannon Hurley - "California"

Jonathan Coulton - "Ikea"

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Dude... What Did They Do?

1. What did they do before You Tube to get psyched for sports events and then to bask in the glory of victory?

2. What music did they use prior to 1988 in sport's montages?

3. Lastly - how did people live, in 1979, without montages like this one - readily available for your viewing pleasure?


Friday, June 19, 2009

Brilliant Idea #389

Have a 6 year-old tball game start at 8pm.

I guess the 6 year-olds can handle it. The game didn't get over until about 9:30 and then the ice cream and sodas didn't get over until about 10:00pm. Sammy had a blast and said, "DAD - I felt like I was in the World Series!"

And, really, I felt like I was watching him in the World Series. It was really cool to see him on a nicely manicured field, under the lights, and actually playing the game of baseball... with outs and everything! He played second base.

Did I mention that I was there without Geana? With four year old quadruplets? Whose normal bedtime is prior to 8pm?

In the Morris parenting system, the children are raised by two separate, yet equally important parents. The Father - who seems to get into predicaments when the mother is not around, and the Mother - who decided to go out tonight. These are our stories. (DUM DUUUM)

Ella deciding that she wanted to go home. This went on for about five minutes straight:

Anna's Muddy Feet:

James wants a seat:

Anna & Ella want nachos:

Robby's skanky feet:

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


We had a visit from our local police department this evening. I got home from work and, as soon as I walked in the door, the phone rang. It was the police.

Cop: Did someone dial 911.

Geana: Probably.

Cop: A unit is on their way.

Turns out that Robby called the cops this time. (We've had other instances when it was another one of our little angels deciding to make an emergency call from my cell phone.)

In all honesty - I can almost justify his call... almost. Turns out that Anna accidentally nudged him down the basement steps. She stands by her story that it was an accident. Well - when he landed at the bottom he hurt his leg (not badly - just enough to feel it necessary to call the ambulance). He decided to get up, pull the chair over to the wall, stand on the chair so that he could reach the phone, call 911 and tell them what had happened. He must have really been driven to do this because the phone in the basement is one of those old rotary phones where you have to spin the dial to dial the numbers. I really wish I could have a copy of that phone call recording. Does anyone know how to request recorded 911 calls?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Sunday Podcast

I have decided to record a podcast every Sunday (we'll see how good I do.) I'd like to do a podcast from wherever we plan to go with the kids on that day but so far I've been a chicken sh@t and have been afraid to whip out my laptop and headset microphone at the pool or at a party. One of these days I'll do it... But for now - listen to Robby, James, and I discuss our day and play four awesome tunes for your commute into work tomorrow. Enjoy!

Quadcast # 20 - Starring Robby, James, & Daddy!

“Street Corner Preacher” by Amos Lee

“Trees” by Kingsfoil

“Computer” by State Shirt

“Hot Balloon” by 100 Year Picnic

You can subscribe to the podcast by going into itunes and searching for The Quadcast. There are two podcasts by this name but you should be able to figure out which one is mine.

Friday, June 12, 2009

How You Know You Are Old

1. You clean the bathroom in between periods.

2. You honestly have concern for yourself that you may actually have a heart attack during the game.

3. The five people you were watching the game with fall asleep before the 2nd period because it's past their bedtime.

2-0 in the 2nd Period... GO PENS!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pittsburgh is The Best City In The World!

There is a campaign going on to get Pittsburgh's official website to show up at the top the search when someone searches "The Best City in The World."

As you may or may not know, Pittsburgh was recently named the most livable city in the US by the Economist and has recently become widely regarded as a really cool place to live (probably because I left). As someone who grew up in Pittsburgh, I have strong ties to the city and a big part of me wishes I was still there. Visiting several times a year and hanging out in Edgewood with my sister and going to the Children's Museum or going to Pap's for a Steeler's game in the fall has really become one of the highlights of the year for our family.

If you have a blog or a website, take a minute to link to Pittsburgh's official site using the anchor text as The Best City in The World. More information can be found in the article that I linked to at the onset of this post...

And GO PENS!!!

UPDATE: I hear Bill Cowher is coming to Pittsburgh for the G-20 summit and plans to root for Russia.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

My Conversation With God

Me: Good afternoon - this is Kurt.

Geana: Yes - GOD?

Me: Ummm... ok.

Geana: Yeah - God... Robby just peed outside on the driveway.

Me: What? Are you kidding me?

Geana: And God, he won't say he's sorry.

Me: Was it an accident?

Geana: Even more than that, God, he said he's going to do it again when I'm not looking.

Me: What's going on? Robby peed outside, he's not sorry, and he is going to do it again? What happened? What's going on?

Geana: Robby - talk to God. He wants to know what's going on.

(Robby in the background): Mommy - God knows what's going on all the time! I don't have to tell him.

Me: Don't put him on the phone... my door is open.

Geana: Hey Rob - God can't talk to you right now. He's too busy. Also - he's pretty upset. You'd better say your sorry before it starts to thunder and lightning.

Me: Ugh... let me talk to him.

Geana: Looks like he freed up, Rob. God will speak to you now.

Me: No - I'm going to talk to him as ME!

Geana: Oops Robby - sounds like someone called him on the other line. God put me on hold.

Me: Geana - purgatory sucks, huh?

Geana: Shut-up.


Geana: Don't tell me what to tell God.

Robby: But you can't tell God to shut-up, Mom, that's not nice. And he's GOD!

Geana: Not nice is peeing on my driveway.

Me: Ugh. Let me talk to him.

Geana: Here Robby. He's on the phone.

Robby: God?

Me (in deep godly voice): Yeess Rooobbbyyy. It is me... God.

Robby: I'm sorry my Mommy told you to shut-up.

Me: That's okay. She didn't mean it. I forgive her. Everyone sins... some more than others.

Robby (to Geana): He forgives you, Mom.

Me: Now - did you pee on the driveway?

Robby: Yes.

Me (trying to be super Godly): WWWHHYYYYY?

Robby: The devil made me do it.

Me: What did he say?

Robby: He said, "Rob - go outside and pee on the driveway."

Me: You'd think the devil could be more creative, huh?

Robby: I know. I think it was James in dress-up, really. I'll ask him. JAMES - I'm talking to God. He wants to know if you were dressed up like the devil and told me to pee on the driveway.

James: Can I talk to Santa?

Robby: No - I'm talking to God right now and he's really busy. Mommy already told him to shut-up.

James: But I want to talk to Santa.

Robby: God - is Santa there?

Me (as me): Robby - stop peeing on the driveway. Ok?

Robby: (silence)

Me: Robby?

Robby: Dad - I didn't know you worked for God.

Me: We all work for God, Rob. Now don't pee on the driveway again.

Robby: Where's God?

Me: He left.

Robby: Ok. Mommy - I think Daddy killed God.

Ok - so 95% of this conversation is made up. Geana did call me and pretend I was God after Robby peed outside - but when I started trying to recall the conversation my imagination kinda took over.

Sunday, June 07, 2009


Today was spent at Eastern University watching Anna and Ella's dance recital, followed by lunch, and then Sammy's piano recital... an Epic day.

At about 12:00, we tooled up to the University in the coolest vehicle ever made - our obnoxious Chevy Express with an oh so subtle bubble top - we exited the vehicle, and proceeded to make our way into the theatre in a single file line. Don't mess with the divas that are the Morris Family.

After we unloaded, Geana took the girls back stage and finished getting them ready. By the time they were all done up they looked like rock stars and, if I might say, were the cutest girls in the whole recital (but you can decide for yourself). Ultimately - they really had a fun day and the recital was a blast!

I hope you paid extra close attention and noticed the big yellow cut out of a ballerina that was hanging center stage. You'll notice that it is in one piece and doesn't seem to have a rip going from her neck to her arm pit... yet... (more on that shortly).

The recital was followed by lunch at Bertucci's. Mmm... they have the best Martguerita pizza with caramelized onions. I only dropped one slice of pizza on the floor before Geana confiscated the serving thingy from me and served the pizza herself. One day I'll learn to just fall in line with the kids and stop trying to help with stuff... but not today! Luckily we had enough pizza (the leftovers, I'm eating right now... mmm.)

Anyway - we played with pizza dough, scarfed down some food, and then we headed back to Eastern for Act II - Sammy playing The Can-Can. While we were waiting for Sammy's recital to start we took some pictures outside on the beautiful campus. As you can see - the boys really illustrate the beauty that is the campus of Eastern University. I had a feeling we were in for a long afternoon...

Let me tell you... the girl's recital was perfect. It was about 45 minutes long, all of the numbers had no more than 6 kids so that they ALL were in the front row. They didn't split them up into front and back. It was very well done and I couldn't stop praising the school for its organization. Bravo to a school which I've already raved about. The music recital - not so much.

I'll start by saying they really didn't have a choice. It was what it was and the length couldn't really be helped. After about 2 hours of listening to other kids play the piano, clarinet, trombone, and sing Tomorrow from "Annie" - Sammy finally took the stage. Before I talk about Sammy's stellar performance, I'd like to mention Geana's contribution to today's shows. Remember that yellow ballerina I told you to take note of... well... here it is after the dance recital:

See - Geana was trying to go backstage and was on one side of the curtain while the performers were on the other side. As any unsuspecting parent might do, she thrust the curtains open, not realizing that their was a paper figure pinned just above her head - half to the right side and half to the left side of the curtains. As she forced the curtains open, she heard (along with a riiiiiip) the booming voice of the school director, "WHO IS OPENING THAT CURTAIN?" Before he could see her face, Geana ushered the curtains shut and bolted off stage to a sea of other adults, milling about with their other children. She was safe... but the evidence remained. If the Napoli's are reading this blog - Geana Morris did it... but you didn't hear it from me.

Anyway - Sammy kicked some can-can and rocked the house. Here is his performance. It was a fun day... and after taking another hour and a half to, upload video, organize pictures, and write this post - I'm exhausted. Good night all! Enjoy...

Saturday, June 06, 2009


We have a CYO Mass at 5:00 tonight followed by a banquet where Sammy is getting an award. As a parent I'm really torn. I do want to see Sammy get his award, but my other kids' bed time is 8pm sharp. What's a guy to do? Out of concern for the youngsters, I think I need to skip out early (provided that Sammy has already received the award) to ensure that they get their proper sleep.

Geana doesn't seem to believe me.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Cast Off!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Dude... What Did They Do?

I'm going to try to keep this up... we'll see if it happens. I'm starting a new segment here on BBB called, "Dude... What Did They Do?" The purpose of this section is to attempt to rationalize how people did something prior to existing technology (usually Internet related - but we'll see). Today's question is...

"Dude - how did they pick people up at airports before cell phones & the Internet?"

I had a friend coming in last weekend who was staying at our humble abode. One of my tasks was to pick him up from the airport. I did this with ease because of several basic pieces of technology.

1. I looked up his flight online to see if it was on time. It was. I promptly headed out the door en route to the airport to pick him up. I left about 20 minutes prior to the designated arrival time. Now - if the flight was late... I would have delayed my departure time to coincide with his arrival time. Fortunately the computer told me that this was not the case... but you can imagine instances where planes are delayed - can't you? (This particular flight was from O'Hare to Philadelphia so it was the single flight in the past 12 months that was NOT delayed in following this flight path.)

2. I navigated to the airport using my GPS system. This new technology really didn't do much for me because, if anything, it led me through the ghetto to get to the airport - and so I'm not too thrilled with this advancement. I am, however, alive.

3. I coolly parked my car on the shoulder of the road, cranked up the radio, and sat and waited for my friend's text message telling me that he has landed. After about 5 minutes, buuzzzzz, he was on the ground. Another 10 minutes went by and, riiiinngg, he was outside of baggage claim. I put the car in drive and tooled around the airport, having him in my car within 60 seconds. Other than the fact that the median was an incredibly shady place to park and I could have been car jacked, raped, or killed - I picked him up flawlessly. Here is a picture from my car - parked on the shoulder. The far sign says, "No Shoulder Parking." In the car in front of me - Charles Manson.

Can you imagine if it was 1982 and his flight had been delayed? I would have been driving around and around and around the airport aimlessly for hours. I mean - he could have called me at home when he landed from a pay phone but that would have added an extra half hour to the pick-up time. (Not bad - but what about those people who live 2 hours away from the airport?)

This is just another example of technology making, even the little things, a whole lot better.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Lazy Waitress

The other night we went out to eat. There are several things that irk me when we go out to eat. Let me tell you what they are...

More often than not, the waiter or waitress says to us, "Oh my God!!! Are they all your's?!?!?!?!" We politely answer, "yes" and tell them that four of them are quadruplets. "Yes - we have 3 tv shows. Yes - it's really rare. Yes - we do go out to eat." This is all fine. When we go out I expect to be stared at and asked questions. I've gotten used to this by now and, frankly, I would stare at us if I saw us at a restaurant. What I find unacceptable is that a signficant amount of times the waitress is so distracted by our kids that she screws up the order or doesn't listen to what we say. This happens a lot. We've got it down, now, where we can already tell that our order is going to be screwed up before we even give them our drink order.

The second thing that is annoying is when they bring the kids' food out 5 or 10 minutes before they bring the adult food out. I understand you think this is the best parenting approach. Well - you're wrong. I understand that you are trying to help. Well - you're not. Answer me this - would you rather be corralling kids when you are eating or when you are NOT eating? See - when the kids get their food they sit quietly and eat while Geana and I twiddle our thumbs. Then the kids finish just as we get our food. Now they are ready to move onto the next thing - crawling under the table, banging their silverware for dessert, hitting their siblings... you name it. You try to enjoy your meal while five kids are trying to do all of these things. You can't! The moral of the story is - ASK ME if you want the kids' food to come out before mine please... and I will politely decline. AND I'll be super grateful that you asked.

The third thing that drives me bonkers is: When we order chocolate milk for the kids - stir the damn drink. If you were serving chocolate milk to an individual child you would take the time to stir that baby up, making sure that the chocolate has dissolved completely and that the milk is a dark shade of brown before serving - wouldn't you? When you serve five kids - don't be lazy. I know you have to stir five drinks. I know it is going to take some time to do this. I've done this before. I sympathize with your task. In fact - I came here so that I don't have to do it tonight. When I get five cups that look like dish water because you have neglected to stir them up properly and my kid gets a big gulp of syrup, I get pissed off. Now I have to stir the drink. What am I paying $2.00 per glass for?

All in all - we enjoy our nights out at restaurants. At this point, our kids are big enough that we don't have to much extra work to do at the restaurant (diapers, potty, etc.). But please... don't make it difficult for us. Get the order right, bring all of the food at once, and stir the drinks. If you do that... we'll come back over and over again... and leave you a big tip. I understand that we are taking up your 8-top and ordering (sometimes) 2 adult meals and 3 kids meals (b/c the kids still don't finish a whole meal from a restaurant). That is so much less of a check than 8 adult meals. I get it... I'll hook you up if you hook me up. I promise.

Monday, June 01, 2009

A Fond Farewell to the School Year

We're approaching the home stretch here. The kids are done with nursery school after this morning and Sammy just has a few more days left and it's off to 2nd grade!

I was helping Sammy with his homework the other night and was enjoying an ice cold Heineken as I was helping him glue his Zack & Cody pictures onto his paper bag vest. The task was to create a vest based on the book that he just read, "Zack & Cody: The Suite Life". (It's a show on Disney but they also have several books... anyway) Geana did the lion's share the night before with him and I was simply helping with the finishing touches. You know - gluing some pictures on and putting the last minute stickers all over... the usual. It was looking good!

Let me take a minute to say - I rarely drink beer and help my children with their homework. Honest. This just happens to be one of those times where... oh... forget it... it's just not gonna come out right no matter what I say. I had about half of my beer with dinner and the bottle remained on the table after the meal so that I could finish it after cleaning up the kitchen. Sammy was also doing homework at this table.

You can probably see where this is going... in Sammy's attempt to reach for the glue, the beer bottle spilled all over his homework (narrowly missing the vest - THANK GOD - but getting all over his math assignment, school folder, and school bag). I quickly tried to clean it up but it was too late. The beer had soaked into the math paper and into the folder. I hung them both up to dry in the kitchen but nothing gets out the smell of beer. Nothing. I even tried to spray some fabreeze on them, but that just made it smell like someone spilled beer on this homework and then tried to cover it up by spraying fabreeze on it. I tried to think of something else to do but at that point the homework would become illegible if any other liquid touched the page. UGH. What's a guy to do?

Anyway - looks like my kid (in a cast) is going to have to take his homework into school and explain to his teacher that his father spilled beer all over his homework and that is why it smells the way that it does. Then the jackass tried spraying it with fabreeze. Sometimes I think it's amazing that they even let me have children.