Dancing School... it's Enough to Bring you to Drinkin'

Ok - the girl's have dancing school every Saturday morning at 11:15am sharp. The dancing school is part of a shopping center that has, among other things, a Grocery Store, a CVS, and a Beer Distributor. Every week the parking lot is jammed full, I'm navigating a 12 passenger van, and I succumb to parking in the easiest spot - which is about 3 and 1/2 miles from the actual school. We've never been hit by a car while playing frogger to get to class - but it's been darn close.

Today was different. Today - I didn't feel like walking those 3 1/2 miles. Today - I also didn't feel like surfing around the lot until I found someone who was leaving. Today - I decided to take advantage of a small loophole that I've noticed every week but have failed to capitalize on... until now. (This was all being done for the children's safety I must add.) You see - the dancing school's neighbor is the beer distributor. The beer guys have, wisely, put a huge sign out in front of their establishment that says, "BEER PARKING ONLY!" Me, also being a wise individual, decided that I should take advantage of this loophole by parking in the spot, purchasing a case of the finest Belgian Christmas Ale (Rude Elves Reserve), and then walking the kids into the school. Sheer genius!

Mind you, this has increased the cost of the girl's dance tuition by approximately $40 per week, which is a bit of a problem financially, but it's important for the children's safety and continued enjoyment of the performing arts. A small price to pay.

I'm actively taking suggestions for next week's parking case.

A Fond Farewell to the School Year

We're approaching the home stretch here. The kids are done with nursery school after this morning and Sammy just has a few more days left and it's off to 2nd grade!

I was helping Sammy with his homework the other night and was enjoying an ice cold Heineken as I was helping him glue his Zack & Cody pictures onto his paper bag vest. The task was to create a vest based on the book that he just read, "Zack & Cody: The Suite Life". (It's a show on Disney but they also have several books... anyway) Geana did the lion's share the night before with him and I was simply helping with the finishing touches. You know - gluing some pictures on and putting the last minute stickers all over... the usual. It was looking good!

Let me take a minute to say - I rarely drink beer and help my children with their homework. Honest. This just happens to be one of those times where... oh... forget it... it's just not gonna come out right no matter what I say. I had about half of my beer with dinner and the bottle remained on the table after the meal so that I could finish it after cleaning up the kitchen. Sammy was also doing homework at this table.

You can probably see where this is going... in Sammy's attempt to reach for the glue, the beer bottle spilled all over his homework (narrowly missing the vest - THANK GOD - but getting all over his math assignment, school folder, and school bag). I quickly tried to clean it up but it was too late. The beer had soaked into the math paper and into the folder. I hung them both up to dry in the kitchen but nothing gets out the smell of beer. Nothing. I even tried to spray some fabreeze on them, but that just made it smell like someone spilled beer on this homework and then tried to cover it up by spraying fabreeze on it. I tried to think of something else to do but at that point the homework would become illegible if any other liquid touched the page. UGH. What's a guy to do?

Anyway - looks like my kid (in a cast) is going to have to take his homework into school and explain to his teacher that his father spilled beer all over his homework and that is why it smells the way that it does. Then the jackass tried spraying it with fabreeze. Sometimes I think it's amazing that they even let me have children.

Beer Post

In case you couldn't tell - I'm getting prepared for football season. It's gonna be here before you know it and this accessory is a must have. I can't wait to show up at my buddies house to watch the game with this contraption. I will never lose my seat because I had to get up and get a beer. Now only if they sold it in conjunction with this.