Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Jersey Rule

When purchasing professional sports jerseys in today's era of come and go players, you have to set ground rules. I follow these simple rules:

1. You can never go wrong with an iconic player from a previous era. Jack Lambert, Mario Lemieux, and Roberto Clemente come to mind. You'll always look cool wearing the shirts that these players adorned in their time.

2. Always buy jerseys of impact players and (if possible) future hall of famers on your current team. My closet consists of two Roethlisberger Jerseys (home and away), a Polamalu Jersey, an Ian Snell Jersey (more on this later) and a Crosby Jersey. Four of my five jerseys of current players fit into this category. What is nice is that when Ben leaves the Steelers to go and play for the Jets - his jersey will migrate from category 2 into category 1.

3. If, like me, you do find yourself with an Ian Snell jersey, don't fret. Keep that baby hung up in your closet, take good care of it, and simply wait. You will be the coolest guy in the bar in 2030. Think about it... when I go to Steelers bars here in Philly - I always look in envy at the guy wearing a Bubby Brister shirt. Hats off to ya, my friend!

I do feel it necessary to mention that, having been in Philadelphia for a length of time, I catch myself snickering everytime I see a Terrell Owens jersey or a Jim Thome jersey. Being from Pittsburgh, rarely (if ever), will I have to worry about a big name coming into town and then leaving because either a) he's an asshole (T.O.) or b) the team improperly managed it's free agent signings (signing Thome with Howard in the wings). This being said - if you are THAT GUY with one of THOSE JERSEYS - just trash it. It's hard, I know, but come to terms with the fact that the teams mistake is now your responsibility. Pony up the dough and go out and buy a new one.

Lastly - when purchasing jerseys for your children - don't buy the same player for each kid. Invest in a different player for each child and you will be loved and respected by all of your neighbors... unless of course you live in Philly and are Steeler fans.


dan said...

Well... I think you have this one pretty much pegged my friend. I am a big believer in the former star route though. You can't go wrong with a Mike Richter Jersey, Al Toon jersey, Patrick Ewing (though no one wants to see me in a basketball jersey), or any of the classic Yanks (Donnie Baseball)

Max said...

How do you feel about people who get jerseys with their favorite players' number, but their own last name?

I maintain that the coolest jersey you can own is one:

- from a team that you're a fan of
- in a foreign country
- where they use a different alphabet.

I'd never get a Steelers' jersey with my name on it, but a Blue Wave shirt with Ichiro's number and my name in Japanese on the back? OMG WANT!

Morrisquads said...

Max - putting your name on the back of the jersey is an extreme no-no.

This being said - if a player with your last name, say, Bam Morris or Warren Morris were to play for your favorite team then by all means go and get that jersey. I remember when Kent Graham was the Steeler's QB. We got my Grandmother a jersey... we called her Gram.

When a Chittister plays for the Steelers - I'll buy you a jersey... deal?