Lazy Waitress

The other night we went out to eat. There are several things that irk me when we go out to eat. Let me tell you what they are...

More often than not, the waiter or waitress says to us, "Oh my God!!! Are they all your's?!?!?!?!" We politely answer, "yes" and tell them that four of them are quadruplets. "Yes - we have 3 tv shows. Yes - it's really rare. Yes - we do go out to eat." This is all fine. When we go out I expect to be stared at and asked questions. I've gotten used to this by now and, frankly, I would stare at us if I saw us at a restaurant. What I find unacceptable is that a signficant amount of times the waitress is so distracted by our kids that she screws up the order or doesn't listen to what we say. This happens a lot. We've got it down, now, where we can already tell that our order is going to be screwed up before we even give them our drink order.

The second thing that is annoying is when they bring the kids' food out 5 or 10 minutes before they bring the adult food out. I understand you think this is the best parenting approach. Well - you're wrong. I understand that you are trying to help. Well - you're not. Answer me this - would you rather be corralling kids when you are eating or when you are NOT eating? See - when the kids get their food they sit quietly and eat while Geana and I twiddle our thumbs. Then the kids finish just as we get our food. Now they are ready to move onto the next thing - crawling under the table, banging their silverware for dessert, hitting their siblings... you name it. You try to enjoy your meal while five kids are trying to do all of these things. You can't! The moral of the story is - ASK ME if you want the kids' food to come out before mine please... and I will politely decline. AND I'll be super grateful that you asked.

The third thing that drives me bonkers is: When we order chocolate milk for the kids - stir the damn drink. If you were serving chocolate milk to an individual child you would take the time to stir that baby up, making sure that the chocolate has dissolved completely and that the milk is a dark shade of brown before serving - wouldn't you? When you serve five kids - don't be lazy. I know you have to stir five drinks. I know it is going to take some time to do this. I've done this before. I sympathize with your task. In fact - I came here so that I don't have to do it tonight. When I get five cups that look like dish water because you have neglected to stir them up properly and my kid gets a big gulp of syrup, I get pissed off. Now I have to stir the drink. What am I paying $2.00 per glass for?

All in all - we enjoy our nights out at restaurants. At this point, our kids are big enough that we don't have to much extra work to do at the restaurant (diapers, potty, etc.). But please... don't make it difficult for us. Get the order right, bring all of the food at once, and stir the drinks. If you do that... we'll come back over and over again... and leave you a big tip. I understand that we are taking up your 8-top and ordering (sometimes) 2 adult meals and 3 kids meals (b/c the kids still don't finish a whole meal from a restaurant). That is so much less of a check than 8 adult meals. I get it... I'll hook you up if you hook me up. I promise.