Recipe For Disaster

We took the kids out to the Old Country Buffet last night... because, if nothing else, our family has class.

Seriously - I'm shocked that there are not knock down drag out fights at OCB on a daily basis. The place is a festering melting pot that breeds anger, frustration, chaos, and injury. Let's examine...

Generally, the clientele at OCB is kinda trashy. I don't want to judge EVERYONE who goes to OCB as being trashy, but it's a general observation of mine. I mean - hey - I go to OCB and I don't consider myself trashy (although others may beg to differ). Further, I have several non-trashy friends who occasionally frequent the establishment. It's cheap, kids love it, and there are unlimited amounts of ice cream so I can totally see why people would take their kids there. All I'm saying is that, in general, the crowd isn't the same as you'd find at... say... Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Okay - so you take a bunch of trashy people who are starving and you put them in a room with crazy amounts of food. Obstacle #1 is that, although there are obscene amounts of food, it always seems that the good food is empty. Everyone is perpetually waiting for the employees to refill the courses that they desire. This happens EVERY TIME we go to OCB without fail. Mac & Cheese - never there. Waldorf Salad - always full. This may have the result of, I don't know, pissing some people off...

Obstacle #2 - OCB is uber-kid friendly. Listen - that's the reason that we go to the place to begin with. The problem is that you have a bunch of hungry, trashy people with lots of food in front of them - that could disappear at any minute. Now you throw kids into the mix. People generally have little patience with their children, so imagine everybody in the restaurant stressing at the fact that they have to get the kids food (that may disappear) as well as their own food. Kids create several other issues with the potential of pissing people off, too. Like - last night there was this unattended kid who kept scooping and scooping and scooping the Mac & Cheese onto his plate. He weighed all of 40 pounds (and I could have thrown him across the buffet but that's not why I mention his weight.) It was clear that he wasn't going to eat all that he was shoveling, but he was in front of me and my 5 kids so we just had to wait. Then, of course, there isn't enough Mac & Cheese for us - so we have to wait until its refilled. A few minutes later, as I'm leading my brood back to the table with plates that are piled full of Mac & Cheese, there is a 3 year old - also unattended - who darts out from under a table next to us and almost makes me spill my meatloaf and potatoes all over the restaurant floor. Luckily I'm known for my grace and coordination so I deftly avoid his attempt at a chop block.

This brings us to obstacle #3 - Old People (look in the background of the picture above). We've successfully piled our plates full of super healthy food and the kids have sat down at the table and have started to eat. Now I have to head up to the drink station to get all of our drinks. I end up in line behind an old couple who can't figure out how to work the intricacies of the fountain soda machine.

Old Man: How do I get ice?
Old Lady: You push the button.
Old Man: Whaaa?
Old Lady: PUSH. THE. BUTTON.
Old Man: Oh... ok. Here?
(slowly reaching for the ice button)
Robby: Want me to do it?
Me: Shhh.
Old Man: You can do it for me if you want.
Robby: Ok.
Me: No - that's ok, sir. We will wait. Robby go back to your seat, please.
Robby: Ok. I want all of the drinks mixed together.
Me: You'll be lucky if you get ice. Now SIT.

You'll be happy to know that we finally got our drinks and sat down to eat dinner. After dinner we ate our ice cream and left the restaurant without incident. Here is a picture of Anna eating her chocolate cake and ice cream. Mmmmm....

OCNJ - Day 3

The kids, again, woke up at the crack of dawn and wanted to play. Grandpap had gone to the local donut store already and was armed with bait to lure the kids upstairs to the kitchen and bought Geana and me an extra 10 minutes of sleep. It wasn't much but it was something! Nice work Grandpap!

We decided that we wanted to spend the day doing something that Daddy could participate in. I can't swim in the pool... I can't go to the beach... I can't really do the boardwalk very well without falling on my face... so we decided to go crabbin'.

Let me preface our trip by saying I hate fishing. I hate the smell of fish. I hate the way fish feel all slimy. I hate the sight of fish. I hate anything having to so with fish. I mean - I love shrimp, lobster and crabs... but fish - not so much. We got there and the guy reached into his "bucket 'o dead, gross, fly infested fish" and cut a dead bunker in half with his hatchet, spearing him through the eye onto our crab lines. Our bait was set. I just about puked... Robby said, "COOOOOOL!" I'm a wimp. It took Anna about a half an hour to get down from standing on the picnic table because she was so grossed out. SO... either - a) Anna takes after her Dad or - b) I'm a four year-old girl when it comes to crabbin'.

We all got our chance to hold a crab. We caught one without any claws so it was safe for everyone to hold onto him.

James - who at home loves to dig for bugs, worms and other creatures - had the time of his life!

Sammy...
Ella...
Robby...
Anna...

On the ride home from crabbin' all quadruplets fell asleep. I have a theory (which was confirmed today) that people are designed to nap from 3pm to 5pm. If it were not for the wonder drug, coffee, I would succumb to a nap everyday at around this time.
Dinner was spent at the Deauville Inn where Sammy decided that he was too big to order from the kids menu and asked for Chicken Parmesan instead of a hot dog, macaroni and cheese, or chicken fingers. I think that NOT ordering from the kid's menu is as much a passing of age as your first kiss or the first time you experience the death of a loved one. Well - maybe not that much but something certainly changed tonight. Our seven year-old is growing up. Here is a picture of Sammy from 2003, just before our first visit to the Deauville Inn - before the word "quadruplets" was even a thought in our family...

OCNJ - Day 1

Our first day got us in around 4:30pm or even 5:00. I think that God created beach traffic just so that you appreciate your vacation that much more when you get there. As with all vacations that we take we brought 2 cars - one for kids and one for luggage. I drove the luggage this year.

Upon arrival we immediately invaded the pool that we share with our neighbor. They are the same people that were here last year so the shock of five kids running into the pool was less than it could have been. The woman made the comment that the boys had gotten big (as she packed up and started making her way in from the pool just as we arrived.) Anyway - cannonballs and intense screaming ensued for the next two hours.

I have to say - having four year old quadruplets is sometimes difficult to navigate with others. I mean - we got this place because it has a pool and it is easier to take the kids to the pool for a day rather than the beach. But there are times when you kinda feel bad because these people also rented this place because of the pool, and here we are taking over - because it is impossible for us to do anything less. Then again - they rented last year when we were here and came back so they must like us!

Dinner was at Pino's, one of our favorite family restaurants down here, where they had HUGE meatballs in the kids' spaghetti and my salad was pretty good. Geana had Penne Rosa and liked it. My mom had Salmon which wasn't spectacular. We'll be back there as the week moves on, I suspect.

Pictures of kids tomorrow...

Artists

Today was spent at Eastern University watching Anna and Ella's dance recital, followed by lunch, and then Sammy's piano recital... an Epic day.

At about 12:00, we tooled up to the University in the coolest vehicle ever made - our obnoxious Chevy Express with an oh so subtle bubble top - we exited the vehicle, and proceeded to make our way into the theatre in a single file line. Don't mess with the divas that are the Morris Family.

After we unloaded, Geana took the girls back stage and finished getting them ready. By the time they were all done up they looked like rock stars and, if I might say, were the cutest girls in the whole recital (but you can decide for yourself). Ultimately - they really had a fun day and the recital was a blast!

I hope you paid extra close attention and noticed the big yellow cut out of a ballerina that was hanging center stage. You'll notice that it is in one piece and doesn't seem to have a rip going from her neck to her arm pit... yet... (more on that shortly).

The recital was followed by lunch at Bertucci's. Mmm... they have the best Martguerita pizza with caramelized onions. I only dropped one slice of pizza on the floor before Geana confiscated the serving thingy from me and served the pizza herself. One day I'll learn to just fall in line with the kids and stop trying to help with stuff... but not today! Luckily we had enough pizza (the leftovers, I'm eating right now... mmm.)

Anyway - we played with pizza dough, scarfed down some food, and then we headed back to Eastern for Act II - Sammy playing The Can-Can. While we were waiting for Sammy's recital to start we took some pictures outside on the beautiful campus. As you can see - the boys really illustrate the beauty that is the campus of Eastern University. I had a feeling we were in for a long afternoon...

Let me tell you... the girl's recital was perfect. It was about 45 minutes long, all of the numbers had no more than 6 kids so that they ALL were in the front row. They didn't split them up into front and back. It was very well done and I couldn't stop praising the school for its organization. Bravo to a school which I've already raved about. The music recital - not so much.

I'll start by saying they really didn't have a choice. It was what it was and the length couldn't really be helped. After about 2 hours of listening to other kids play the piano, clarinet, trombone, and sing Tomorrow from "Annie" - Sammy finally took the stage. Before I talk about Sammy's stellar performance, I'd like to mention Geana's contribution to today's shows. Remember that yellow ballerina I told you to take note of... well... here it is after the dance recital:


See - Geana was trying to go backstage and was on one side of the curtain while the performers were on the other side. As any unsuspecting parent might do, she thrust the curtains open, not realizing that their was a paper figure pinned just above her head - half to the right side and half to the left side of the curtains. As she forced the curtains open, she heard (along with a riiiiiip) the booming voice of the school director, "WHO IS OPENING THAT CURTAIN?" Before he could see her face, Geana ushered the curtains shut and bolted off stage to a sea of other adults, milling about with their other children. She was safe... but the evidence remained. If the Napoli's are reading this blog - Geana Morris did it... but you didn't hear it from me.

Anyway - Sammy kicked some can-can and rocked the house. Here is his performance. It was a fun day... and after taking another hour and a half to, upload video, organize pictures, and write this post - I'm exhausted. Good night all! Enjoy...

Lazy Waitress

The other night we went out to eat. There are several things that irk me when we go out to eat. Let me tell you what they are...

More often than not, the waiter or waitress says to us, "Oh my God!!! Are they all your's?!?!?!?!" We politely answer, "yes" and tell them that four of them are quadruplets. "Yes - we have 3 tv shows. Yes - it's really rare. Yes - we do go out to eat." This is all fine. When we go out I expect to be stared at and asked questions. I've gotten used to this by now and, frankly, I would stare at us if I saw us at a restaurant. What I find unacceptable is that a signficant amount of times the waitress is so distracted by our kids that she screws up the order or doesn't listen to what we say. This happens a lot. We've got it down, now, where we can already tell that our order is going to be screwed up before we even give them our drink order.

The second thing that is annoying is when they bring the kids' food out 5 or 10 minutes before they bring the adult food out. I understand you think this is the best parenting approach. Well - you're wrong. I understand that you are trying to help. Well - you're not. Answer me this - would you rather be corralling kids when you are eating or when you are NOT eating? See - when the kids get their food they sit quietly and eat while Geana and I twiddle our thumbs. Then the kids finish just as we get our food. Now they are ready to move onto the next thing - crawling under the table, banging their silverware for dessert, hitting their siblings... you name it. You try to enjoy your meal while five kids are trying to do all of these things. You can't! The moral of the story is - ASK ME if you want the kids' food to come out before mine please... and I will politely decline. AND I'll be super grateful that you asked.

The third thing that drives me bonkers is: When we order chocolate milk for the kids - stir the damn drink. If you were serving chocolate milk to an individual child you would take the time to stir that baby up, making sure that the chocolate has dissolved completely and that the milk is a dark shade of brown before serving - wouldn't you? When you serve five kids - don't be lazy. I know you have to stir five drinks. I know it is going to take some time to do this. I've done this before. I sympathize with your task. In fact - I came here so that I don't have to do it tonight. When I get five cups that look like dish water because you have neglected to stir them up properly and my kid gets a big gulp of syrup, I get pissed off. Now I have to stir the drink. What am I paying $2.00 per glass for?

All in all - we enjoy our nights out at restaurants. At this point, our kids are big enough that we don't have to much extra work to do at the restaurant (diapers, potty, etc.). But please... don't make it difficult for us. Get the order right, bring all of the food at once, and stir the drinks. If you do that... we'll come back over and over again... and leave you a big tip. I understand that we are taking up your 8-top and ordering (sometimes) 2 adult meals and 3 kids meals (b/c the kids still don't finish a whole meal from a restaurant). That is so much less of a check than 8 adult meals. I get it... I'll hook you up if you hook me up. I promise.