Our Morning Routine

6:00 - Alarm goes off. I push snooze. (Let me take a minute here to say that I'm the one in charge of the alarm clock. I'm not sure how and when this happened throughout the course of our marriage but at some point it became my responsibility to make sure that the whole family is up on time. I didn't sign up for this job... nor do I claim to be very good at it.)

6:30 - Anywhere from 4 to 10 scampering feet find their way into our bed. By this point in our lives, the kids have realized that the first ones into our bed get the prime spots, i.e. cuddled up next to Mommy or Daddy. Surprisingly - they have learned that if they miss out on that spot, they fit remarkably well curled up next to our feet. We feed them biscuits when they do this.

7:00 - I finally realize that we need to get out of bed because the kids have to be at school in less than an hour and I have to leave for work in just about the same time frame.

7:01 - I yell, "FIRE!!" And the kids immediately jump out of bed and run down the steps in fear for their lives. (I don't do this everyday... just on special occasions when I really feel like messing up my kids' psyches.)

7:10 - We finally get all of the kids herded downstairs and sitting at their spots at the kitchen table. Often times there is MEGA fighting from the kids to actually sit at the table. (We make them do this every single school day - it's a wonder to me why they continue to fight us on this simple task). We make them sit at the table so that they are all in one place and we don't have to search for anyone or have a doubt in our mind that everybody has made it downstairs. We turn on the Disney Channel. Nine mornings out of ten - we give them Pop tarts. Except Ella - she doesn't like Pop tarts and demands a granola bar. On the tenth morning - we give them Toaster Strudels. They love Toaster Strudel Day.

7:15 - As the kids are eating and watching Handy Manny, I walk around one by one and get them dressed. It is a recent revelation that the girls only want to wear dresses. I'm not sure when this happened - but as long as they don't want to start dating, I'm fine with this.

7:25 - Once I'm done dressing them, I take out the hair brushing buckets (we have two buckets that contain hair gel, water sprayers, hair ties, straightener, curly stuff, mouse, brushes, bows, barrets, spiker, combs, etc.). Personally - I use three items. 1) Water Sprayer. 2) Gel. 3) Brush. I only brush the boys hair. I've recused myself from attempting to brush the girl's hair. For whatever reason, I will never succeed at making my girls hair look pretty. When I try to style it - it looks like Michael Jackson's hair on the cover of "Bad".

GEANA - BTW - While I've been doing all of this crap, Geana has been packing lunches, writing notes to teachers, backing school bags, etc. Frankly - we divide and conquer. If I was ever asked to do what she does in the morning I'd be lost. At some point Geana brushes the girl's hair but I couldn't tell you how or when.

7:35 - Time to brush teeth. This is my least favorite part of the morning. Because the kids just ate, they have all kinds of funk in their teeth. I've thought about changing up the routine to have them brush teeth first - but why mess with a process that is working? Right? If I fight with them to just sit at the table when they come down, I can't even imagine the comments from them if I were to ask them to brush their teeth first. We do this as an assembly line. Quadruplet 1 comes in - we brush: Ahhh... Eeeee.... tongue... rinse... spit. Quadruplet 2 comes in - repeat. Quadruplet 3... Quadruplet 4... Sammy... and so on... (I might also point out that I'm a horrible person... I leave the water running. I know - Mother Earth is crying. I know - I'm an inconsiderate bastard. I know all of these things and I don't care. If I were to turn the water on and off each time I had a kid come in to wet their tooth brush, rinse their toothbrush, and then again to fill their rinse cup and then again to wipe their mouth I would have to move the the facet 40 times. That would make me cry... sorry Mother Earth.)

7:45 - WE FORGOT SHOES! (This happens everyday). "Everyone put your shoes on!" I run around and try to put the shoes on each kid now that they've vacated the table. This is not an easy task but somehow we manage to find enough shoes for five kids every morning. They may not match the outfit - but they match each other. That's all that counts.

7:55 - I push them all out the door after I hug and kiss each one. Geana loads them into the van and off they go.

8:00 - I get ready for work.

8:10 - I leave for work.

Like I said - I shouldn't be in charge of when we wake up because clearly I should get ready before I get the kids ready, right? Wrong. You try brushing teeth, feeding kids, brushing hair, dressing kids, hugging kids - all without getting anything on your suit or shirt. It isn't an easy task. Hence - they get ready before I do. (We still could get up earlier.)