Article in today's Philadelphia Inquirer
Article in today's Pittsburgh Post Gazette
Saturday, May 10, 2008
We Work Hard for the Money
I took the kids to the mall today to buy mommy's Mother's Day present. I know... I put stuff off. Anyway - as we were standing by the fountain, throwing our change into the pool, some dude comes up to me with a clip board and says, "Yo - you wanna make $20 per kid, cash." Usually I'm very adept at ignoring people at the mall, but this peaked my curiosity.
We proceeded to follow the dude upstairs to this little Research Center in the mall. Did anyone else know that these places existed?? I could quit my job at this rate! We went in, the kids sat down at a little table and the dude doled out the lighters while I filled out some paperwork. By the time I was done filling in all of the forms, they were handing me $80 and none of the kids were able to make the lighter work.
Woo hoo! Off to the Toy Store!
Me: How?
Dude: I work for a child research company and we need children between ages 3 1/2 years and 4 years old. Do they fit the criteria?
Me: As a matter of fact, they do. What would they have to do?
Dude: Just play with a lighter for a few minutes to see if they can figure out the child safety lock.
Me: (doing the math and weighing that against my parenting morals) $80? Really? Just to play with a lighter for a few minutes?
Dude: Yeah - but the lighters don't have butane in them and can't light. We just need to see if they can make it click.
Me: Dude - sign us up. Where do we go?
We proceeded to follow the dude upstairs to this little Research Center in the mall. Did anyone else know that these places existed?? I could quit my job at this rate! We went in, the kids sat down at a little table and the dude doled out the lighters while I filled out some paperwork. By the time I was done filling in all of the forms, they were handing me $80 and none of the kids were able to make the lighter work.
Woo hoo! Off to the Toy Store!
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Collect 'em All
I'm not ashamed... the kids and I are collecting all of the American Idol Dolls from McDonald's. That's right... no shame!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
A Mall in Philadelphia
I took the boys to the mall today in an attempt to purchase some Penguin's gear. I'm not sure why I put myself through these things.
For you new readers - I live in Philadelphia, the home of the Philadelphia Flyers who will be playing the Pens in the upcoming Eastern Conference Championship. Philadelphia sports fans have been known to have a little... mmm... how should I put it... chip on their shoulder. I prefer to call them trashy, unintelligent, fanatics who have no real knowledge of the teams that the follow or the games that they watch... but that may be a slight generalization.
Anyway - while I'm standing in line with my gear some jagoff says to me, "I wouldn't dress your kids in those clothes if you want them to live." I responded with my normal nod and a smile. But after thinking about it I should have said,
"Yo jagoff... why don't you go dahn to the Orange Julius and pour some of that orange crap all over yourself in the "name of the Philadelphia Flyers." Be sure to yell and scream like someone in the world gives two shits what you think about hockey and then go bitch and moan somewhere about the Eagles inability to put a decent team on the field. When your done doing that - come back here and I'll tell you what it's like to win 5 Super Bowls and 2 Stanley Cups!"
These responses tend to come to me after the fact, though.
For you new readers - I live in Philadelphia, the home of the Philadelphia Flyers who will be playing the Pens in the upcoming Eastern Conference Championship. Philadelphia sports fans have been known to have a little... mmm... how should I put it... chip on their shoulder. I prefer to call them trashy, unintelligent, fanatics who have no real knowledge of the teams that the follow or the games that they watch... but that may be a slight generalization.
Anyway - while I'm standing in line with my gear some jagoff says to me, "I wouldn't dress your kids in those clothes if you want them to live." I responded with my normal nod and a smile. But after thinking about it I should have said,
"Yo jagoff... why don't you go dahn to the Orange Julius and pour some of that orange crap all over yourself in the "name of the Philadelphia Flyers." Be sure to yell and scream like someone in the world gives two shits what you think about hockey and then go bitch and moan somewhere about the Eagles inability to put a decent team on the field. When your done doing that - come back here and I'll tell you what it's like to win 5 Super Bowls and 2 Stanley Cups!"
These responses tend to come to me after the fact, though.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Writers Block
After a while of not writing on the blog, it is tough to for me to come up with something concrete to write about.. so I'll just drivel a bit until I come up with something to say...
nothing...
still nothing...
nothing...
EUREKA!!! Why don't I give you an update on our toilet! That's always something that people like to hear about.
The kids have recently found a fascination with our powder room toilet. They seem to enjoy stuffing large quantities of toilet paper down there and then keep flushing and flushing and flushing until the water overflows. Talk about a good time. Put the occasional toy down there and you've got hours of enjoyment.
Now mind you - our bathroom is carpeted.... (wait for the disgusting feeling to pass... you are free to read on...) The carpeting came with the house and it wasn't a priority to remove until now. Something about going through a year of potty training with four little ones makes you want to remove the carpet from your bathroom. Go figure.
So we're going to get the bathroom tiled this spring. What a better way to use our "stimulus" check than by giving it to the working class of the US. Seriously - I would recommend for everyone to use their check to improve their home or to have something that requires a trade skill done around your home/office. It's better than buying a computer that is made in China... or clothes that are made in Taiwan. If you do that - you truly are helping the US economy. Time to get off of my soap box and back down on the bathroom floor where I'm continuously cleaning up urine and toilet water...
nothing...
still nothing...
nothing...
EUREKA!!! Why don't I give you an update on our toilet! That's always something that people like to hear about.
The kids have recently found a fascination with our powder room toilet. They seem to enjoy stuffing large quantities of toilet paper down there and then keep flushing and flushing and flushing until the water overflows. Talk about a good time. Put the occasional toy down there and you've got hours of enjoyment.
Now mind you - our bathroom is carpeted.... (wait for the disgusting feeling to pass... you are free to read on...) The carpeting came with the house and it wasn't a priority to remove until now. Something about going through a year of potty training with four little ones makes you want to remove the carpet from your bathroom. Go figure.
So we're going to get the bathroom tiled this spring. What a better way to use our "stimulus" check than by giving it to the working class of the US. Seriously - I would recommend for everyone to use their check to improve their home or to have something that requires a trade skill done around your home/office. It's better than buying a computer that is made in China... or clothes that are made in Taiwan. If you do that - you truly are helping the US economy. Time to get off of my soap box and back down on the bathroom floor where I'm continuously cleaning up urine and toilet water...
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