Tuesday, July 07, 2009


As I'm tooling about in my Scooter 3000, struggling with all that I have to do, I can't help but think about all of the stuff that will be done by my minions once the kids get a little older. Right? To name just a few:

Trash: This morning I had to take out four cans of trash. Mind you - we don't use dinky trash cans in the Morris house... we use freakin' huge ones - the kind with an attached flip lid. I like to refer to them as mini dumpsters. The way I see it - in two years time I won't have to take out the trash again for another 10 years. I can't wait. I'm already training Sammy on this task.

Lawn Mowing: Currently we have a gentleman who graciously comes and cuts our grass for about $1,000,000 a summer. That added expense will soon be eliminated when the kids are old enough to cut the grass themselves. What is the right age? I say 7.

Dishes: As you can imagine the dishes in our household (when we don't use paper plates) can pile up pretty quickly. The kids are already clearing their plates and (sometimes) setting the table. Once we can get them loading and unloading the dishwasher I'll be able to sit back and watch the ballgame while they clean up the kitchen after dinner. Again - I can't wait.

Laundry: I have a strategy for this one. I figure that once they are teenagers the girls, at least, will refuse to wear stank ass clothes. In my mind the equation is pretty simple, "Want clean clothes, girls? Wash them your damn self. Oh and while your at it - wash mine, your mother's and your brother's clothes, too. Thanks! T-Shirts go in the second drawer and polo's in the third. On your way through - pass me a beer."

Can anyone else think of chores that children will eliminate from my list as they get older? This concept hit me like a ton of bricks today and I'm hoping to compile a full scale list within the next 2 years.


~mo said...

cleaning the bathroom! washing the windows! pumping gas when it's raining! washing the car! bringing in and putting away the groceries! running errands (once they drive, of course)! dusting and vaccuming! anything you are willing to pay them/black mail them to do :) i cant wait til i can threaten my kids into doing things for me lol "clean your room or else your boy/girlfriend sees the butt picture!"

jerbear said...

how about snow removal? That one always pisses me off when it has to be done- can't wait for Owen to be old enough to shovel it himself!

Eric the Bolton said...


My Teen Son already has the "torturous" jobs of dishes, trash, dog, closing the bathroom curtain. He's also got.. "OTHER DUTIES ASSIGNED"

He's only got 4 more year until he's done with high school. That will make nect in line 7 years old. Perfect to start the home training.

Paola D said...

Not just errands, you have 5 kids, just wait till Sammy is old enough to drive! You'll be able to have him chauffeur all the kids around to their daily activities!

Morrisquads said...

~mo - looks like you already have a list! I'm gonna need to borrow that.

Jerbear - I can't believe I forgot about snow! I grew up on a driveway that was steeper and longer than any of my neighbor's. It SUCKED. Our current house isn't that bad - but I'll get to break out the "when I was your age" stories. Awesome!

Eric - Thanks for the comment. I checked out your blog and it has been added to my RSS reader. See - if my kids were spread apart I could stretch this chore thing a much longer time. All of my kids will leave the nest at around the same time (I think.)

Paola - I see your point... but I've got two words for ya... CAR INSURANCE (x5). Ugh!

~mo said...

no, only car insurance x1. if sammy's driving, who says the quads need to? lol or you can just make them pay for their own, in money, or xtra chores :)